Above & Beyond

I actually watched Obama’s entire State of the Union address. I would like to think I was merely doing my duty as a citizen and as a political observer, but I’m beginning to worry that there is simply a streak of masochism that runs through me. After all, that’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back, and God knows I’m not getting any younger. If anything, just listening to and looking at His Arrogance has aged me considerably over the past five years.

I can’t even boast that I have cracked his code. A child of six could have figured out a long time ago that when he says “fees” and “revenue,” he means “taxes;” when he says “investing,” he means “spending;” and when he says “folks,” he means “suckers.” Furthermore, when he says “Let me make this perfectly clear,” he means “Abracadabra, now you see it, now you don’t.” And, finally, when he refers to “God,” he means himself.

If it weren’t for those masochistic tendencies, I would have long ago adopted Antonin Scalia’s approach to these annual telethons. For the past 16 years, he has avoided them, dismissing them as “childish spectacles.” Actually, the way that Joe Biden and Obama’s other puppets and stooges bounce up and down, applauding every platitude, cheering every cliché, I think Justice Scalia does a disservice to childish spectacles.

Frankly, I suspect the audience spends more time rehearsing their responses than Obama devotes to rehearsing his speech. After all, he not only has the use of a Teleprompter, but it’s only a slightly longer version of every other speech he gives. But it’s those senators and congressmen who have to know when the proper response is a furrowed brow, conveying their shared concern about rich people not paying their fair share; or polite applause, indicating they’re still awake; or whether it’s time to jump up and deliver the sort of ovation generally reserved for winners on American Idol.

One thing I know is that I wouldn’t want to be in Joe Biden’s shoes. That’s because, being on camera right behind Obama, he not only can’t afford to yawn or twitch around in his chair, but, like a musical conductor, he is expected to cue the other stiffs in the audience. If you’re Charles Schumer or Nancy Pelosi, you don’t want the TV camera catching you seated when Biden is up on his hind legs, waving his pom-poms.

Predictably, Obama went on at length about guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens, but nary a word about those in the hands of inner-city punks. On the other hand, I have to give him credit for at least suggesting that being a father entails more than knocking up a teenager. But, naturally, he gave less time to that all-important topic than he did to sending kudos to his wife and Mrs. Biden for something or other. Perhaps for putting up with the likes of him and Joe.

Some people actually take exception to my calling Obama arrogant. But what else would you call it when he decides that a $16.5 trillion dollar debt is of less concern than his golf score; when he ignored all the sensible recommendations of the Simpson-Bowles Commission, a commission, by the way, that he commissioned; and when — thus completing the trifecta — he apparently decided to override the counsel of his secretary of state, his secretary of defense, and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Gen. Martin Dempsey, who all urged him to arm the Syrian insurgents. It wasn’t simply their intention to put an end to al-Assad’s carnage, but to diminish Iran’s and Russia’s influence in the Middle East.

This fool is not only a one-man band, but he’s tone-deaf.

Actually, the way that Obama and his merry gang of fiscal idiots are going, it’s quite possible that by 2016, we’ll look back on a $16.5 trillion national debt as the good old days.

Apparently the only person who has any influence on him is Valerie Jarrett, who, rumor has it, is up for the lead in “Rasputin, the Mad Monk! The Musical!”

Because for liberals, the indoctrination of young minds can never start early enough, Obama pleaded for more money with which to fund pre-school for four-year-olds. What makes this particularly cynical is that his own Department of Health and Human Resources determined in 2010 that by the time kids are in kindergarten, there’s no discernible difference between the tots who have been attending nursery school and those who haven’t. For liberals, it’s not about the kids learning their ABCs; it’s all about teaching them to chant “Mmm-mmm, Obama” in unison.

No liberal speech would be complete without tossing a bone to women. What amazes me about women, especially single left-wing women, is that they’re always talking about being empowered and independent. But they invariably vote for Big Government in the hope that Big Brother will take care of them, providing them with free birth control pills and free abortions, while at the same time pretending they’re fit for frontline warfare. The other big lie that liberals foster is that being a social worker is the equivalent of being a brain surgeon and should therefore entitle them to the exact same paycheck.

I am always bemused when Obama brings up the need to renew our infrastructure. Inasmuch as he claimed that was the main reason he needed the trillion-dollar Stimulus passed as soon as he took office, he either lied in 2009 or all those roads and bridges had a shorter shelf life than cottage cheese.

This brings us to Marco Rubio’s rebuttal. The mainstream media made a big deal out of the fact the senator had to pause to drink some water. Some people, it is said, can’t see the forest for the trees. Liberals, on the other hand, can’t see the forest or the trees. In Rubio’s case, they apparently decided he might be okay as a senator, but would never hack it as a camel.

The truth is Rubio gave a fine speech. The reason that a rebuttal invariably falls short has less to do with the person giving it than with the venue. The president gets to make his way slowly through throngs of kiss-ups before arriving at his beloved Teleprompter. He then stands before hundreds of partisans and a balcony filled with his wife, his friends and a bunch of carefully selected guests. He is then interrupted, on average, every 30 seconds by thunderous applause.

The fellow doing the rebutting, on the other hand, is alone in a sweat box. Now if I were head of the GOP, God forbid, I would place the guy in an auditorium and have him address a packed house. There’s no trick to a politician getting an ovation, but it can’t happen if there’s nobody around to clap.

Next, provide him with a podium so he can pause to drink some water, preferably during a huge round of applause and laughter. And while we’re at it, turn on the damn air conditioner so it doesn’t look like the poor guy is being grilled by the cops.

Speaking of being grilled by the cops, I was delighted to see cop-killer Christopher Dorner meet his maker in that blazing cabin. For one thing, I figure it served to prepare him for his final destination. For another, what the world doesn’t need is another multi-million dollar, multi-year, murder trial, which would only encourage a bunch of mugs to argue endlessly over insanity pleas and the pros and cons of capital punishment.

If I was entrusted with his burial rites, I would say that Chris Dorner lived a despicable life. But in the end, Crispy Dorner went out like a champ.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Wheels55

    Last night I heard on O’Reilly something about women’s rights to have a gun for protection – because they are frail creatures compared to men. Something like that. Where are the women who claim to be equal to men? Where are the ones that promote physical defense classes? Why is the right to bear arms different due to one’s gender? Women are being painted as helpless victims – something that I would think most would speak out against. Obama started a crazy steam of thought with women’s rights being stepped on. I think they have more rights than men (and probably deservedly so).

  • Souvoter

    When will another brave Republican stand tall like Rand Paul and tell the truth about what road Obama is truly on. Unlike the Republicans road to a balanced budget, Obama is on the road to socialism of which he just admitted to not needing a balanced budget!!! This would be the main headline of the day and would surely wake up the political dead.

  • Bruce A.

    Burt, thanks for the State of The Union recap. I quit watching these years ago when they became just another pep rally. Aside from that the thought of Nancy Pelosi in cheerleader garb makes me sick.

  • sheila0405

    Excellent article on the State of the Union. I watched it to see if the President was going to throw down the gauntlet, like he did in the Inaugural address. He did. Didn’t you just love his wish list, then the lie about his plans not adding to the deficit? It’s amazing that the liberals really can’t see beyond the immediate when it comes to ideas. They don’t seem able to carry their thoughts out to a logical conclusion. My conclusion, which is coupled with the President’s remarks on the sequester, is that he is now the Dictator in Chief.

    • Burt Prelutsky

      Sheila: God knows he would like to be the D-in-C, but he can’t quite make it so long as the GOP controls the House. In his first two years, we saw what that world would be like. God forbid that the Dems win back control in 2014.

      Burt

  • JohnInMA

    Very good analysis of The One. I cannot watch him speak for more than a few minutes, especially when I know he is pontificating and enjoying the sound of his own voice. Which is every time he is in front of a camera, in front of a microphone, in front of an audience (especially a fawning crowd), etc. Always, in other words.

    And I’ve decided that the comically obsessive attention on Rubio’s water episode, including some cable outlets’ choosing to make a serious political analysis of it (truly remarkable in its shallowness), is a sign of both desperation and dedication the left has in staying on top of the political pile. I can be surprised at times, but in this case I cannot imagine anyone buying this as a serious issue. But, then again, many bought the progressive meme of the War On Women, etc. for not giving out free birth control pills, or something…..

    • Burt Prelutsky

      John: An excellent summary of Obama and the lap dog media.

      Burt

    • Wheels55

      When I hear Obama talk, I just hear the love child of Jesse Jackson and Fred Sanford. If Obama had a son, he would be just like Lamont.

      • JohnInMA

        What does that mean? Lamont was the more level-headed and rational one of on the show who would usually work to bring Fred back from some catastrophe. I get the Jesse Jackson reference, though, if by that you mean he pontificates with mostly empty words.

        • Wheels55

          Many times the kids are more level-headed than the parents. In Obama’s case, he may be more like Jesse Jackson, Jr. You are spot-on with the Jesse Jackson idea.

  • GlenFS

    Burt, I think you can indeed claim to have broken Obama’s code. Thanks for putting it out there for the lower information voters. Just like the sign language interpretors in many speech venues, we should have an Obama-speak interpretor every time he addresses us. This would be a real public service.

    • Burt Prelutsky

      Glen: I’d volunteer to do it for free, but I don’t believe they’d have me.

      Burt

  • americalsgt

    Agree with you on Valarie Jarret Burt. Dollars to Donuts, if there is ever an honest history written about this reign in America, my money is on her being the power behind the throne and the one that gave the stand down order on Benghazi. No way were a couple dead soldiers going to get in the way of Obama’s reelection.

    • Burt Prelutsky

      america: We agree. But I don’t think Jarrett had to argue too long to convince Obama to do the wrong thing, as usual.

      Burt