Counting Down to Armageddon and America, 2013

Although I can sympathize with those who want Kathleen Sibelius’s head on a pike, just as I can sympathize with those who would like to see Eric Holder replaced as the attorney general, both groups are ignoring the fact that Obama would merely replace them with puppets who were just as bad or, if humanly possible, even worse. This is the same schmuck, let us keep in mind, who replaced Leon Panetta with Chuck Hagel and Hillary Clinton with John Kerry.

For only the second time in our nation’s history have we elected three consecutive presidents to second terms. The first time it happened, we wound up with Jefferson, Madison and Monroe. This time, we got Clinton, Bush and Obama. Does anyone require a clearer picture of America’s decline?

According to the polls and pundits, the next Republican presidential candidate is likely to be someone like Ted Cruz, Rand Paul or Marco Rubio, but being a senator is not the best thing to have on your resume. Although I grant that Clinton and Bush aren’t the greatest examples of ex-governors in the Oval Office, we would do better to seek our candidate from the ranks of the 30 Republican governors than from the 45 members of the Senate. The problem is that senators get to spend a lot of time on TV, so we’re more familiar with them. But being the president is like being the CEO of the world’s biggest corporation, and it’s governors who have the necessary executive experience to do the job. All that senators are called upon to do is vote occasionally and yak incessantly.

One of the things that has made the controversy over the Affordable Care Act so tiresome was having to hear yahoos like Obama, Schumer and Durbin, parroting the line about its being the law of the land, and, therefore, Republicans had no business calling for its demise. Even that trio of dunces has to be aware that slavery was once the law of the land. And it wasn’t just the law in the South. In fact, slavery was the law under the Stars and Stripes for many more years than it was under the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy.

For another thing, gun ownership is not guaranteed by a mere law, but by the Second Amendment to the Constitution, and yet the same crowd of bullies and bozos who shoved the Affordable Care Act down our throats without a single Republican vote , are constantly trying to disarm us.

In case you missed the news, Germany, France, Mexico and Brazil, are just a few of the countries that have voiced their displeasure upon learning that the current administration has been tapping their phones. What’s more, Saudi Arabia has threatened to cut off diplomatic relations with the U.S. because of the way that Obama is kowtowing to their archenemies in Iran, Syria and Russia. The Saudis have announced they no longer trust Obama. That makes two of us.

Clearly, Obama meant it when he said that once he became president, the world would look at us in a whole new way. For once, he kept his word.

I mean, really, how dare Obama and Kerry cozy up to Iran when it’s widely known that their three most recent defense ministers were all directly involved in the 1983 bombing of the Marine barracks in Beirut, a bombing that resulted in the deaths of 241 American servicemen?

Has anyone else noticed that whenever this administration does something stupid or sleazy, Jay Carney claims Obama knew nothing about it until he read it in a newspaper? He knew nothing about Operation Fast & Furious; he knew nothing about Ambassador Stevens asking for additional security in Benghazi and he had no idea the consulate was under attack on 9/11/12; he knew zilch about the IRS targeting conservatives for the past several years; and he had not even a hint that there might be a problem with the rollout of the Affordable Care Act. I know the goofball plays a lot of golf and takes a lot of vacations, but really? Does he really enjoy being known as the Bystander-in-Chief?

The teachers union let it be known that it strongly objects to a bill that would prevent convicted sex offenders from being hired as teachers, counselors, coaches or janitors. Naturally, Rep. Keith Ellison backs the union, declaring that everyone deserves a second chance. Nobody bothered asking him if he meant a second chance to rape a school child.

Naturally, he and the union would be of a different mind if any of those creepy perverts exposed themselves and went “Bang-bang.” After all, schools, according to liberal pinheads, must maintain zero tolerance when it comes to weaponry, even if, 999 times out of a thousand, it means suspending six-year-olds, when the so-called smoking gun happens to be a tiny index finger.

It’s probably beside the point that Ellison is a Muslim. After all, left-wingers are always expected to back up unions. That is, if they expect campaign contributions to keep flowing into their re-election coffers. But what possible excuse can there be for people named Arif Alikhan, Mohammed Elibiary, Salam al-Marayati, Iman Mohamed Magid, Rashad Hussain and Eboo Patel, all being trusted advisors to Barack Hussein Obama? And, really, could Hillary Clinton, in a nation of 315,000,000 people, not find someone besides Huma Abedin (aka Mrs. Anthony Weiner) to be her closest aide and confidant?

Perhaps it’s just me, but I just don’t seem to recall a lot of people named Goering, Himmler and Hess, being in FDR’s inner circle the last time we were involved in an existential war with pure evil.

America, 2013

The United States isn’t going to the dogs, which would be a good thing. Instead, it’s going to the dolts.

You want proof? Okay, ABC asked a group of typical voters three questions. One: Is ObamaCare a socialistic program? (Yes, they replied.) Two: Is the Affordable Care Act a socialistic program? (No, they said.) Three: Is the Affordable Care Act better than ObamaCare? (Definitely, they decided.)

A few minutes after Danne Desbrow received a 53-year sentence for murder, Judge Patricia Cookson not only married him and his fiancée, Destiny, but Judge Cookson had baked them a cake to celebrate the happy occasion. Is there something about wearing a black robe to work that destroys brain cells? Or do you simply have to flunk an IQ test to get the job in the first place?

Barack Obama was cranky because the government shutdown caused him to cancel his trip to Asia. Inasmuch as it costs the taxpayers a tidy fortune every single time he leaves the White House, why is it he never engages in teleconferencing? If it works for people who actually have important business to conduct, it should certainly work for the campaigner-in-chief.

Every time I hear about some tyke who’s suspended from kindergarten for pointing a stick and going “Bang!” I recall that I and every single kid I grew up with played with guns — water and cap – and not one of us wound up killing anyone or having a rap sheet. So maybe, just maybe, it’s time for all you teachers and school principals to grow up and acknowledge gun violence has far more to do with values and parenting than it does with inanimate objects.

I find it odd that there wasn’t a single Democrat in the Senate who was willing to stand up and announce that Harry Reid doesn’t speak for him, that if the Republicans were willing to vote for a spending bill if all that was required was the elimination of the tax on medical instruments, he was all for it. After all, even the Democrats knew that particular tax was not only a sure way to kill thousands of jobs, but to discourage medical research. Can you even begin to imagine how wonderful the perks must be for a U.S. senator that 54 of them would rather be viewed as eunuchs than risk the ire of Obama, Reid and the DNC!

In spite of all the recent news about black-on-white crime; in spite of Eric Holder’s refusal to even indict blacks who intimidate white voters; in spite of all the demonstrations on behalf of black thugs staged by Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton; and in spite of Obama exhibiting far more regard for Muslims than for America’s Christians and Jews; a recent poll indicated that only 37% of white Americans regard black Americans as racists. It makes me wonder if the other 63% also lie to themselves or only to pollsters.

When the majority of House Republicans voted to conduct additional hearings regarding the IRS and Benghazi, the Democrats, taking their lead from their supreme leader, insisted the Republicans were playing politics over phony scandals. But when the Democrats passed ObamaCare without a single Republican vote, we were supposed to believe they were divinely inspired, and ignore the bribes and threats that emanated from Obama’s enforcers, Pelosi and Reid. It’s reminiscent of the Wizard of Oz insisting that Dorothy and her traveling companions pay no attention to the fellow behind the curtain.

In closing, I’ll leave you with three quotes. Henry David Thoreau said, “Beware of enterprises that require new clothes.” Ben Jonson said, “Being on a ship is like being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.”

I say: “Liberal politicians remind me of those testosterone-deprived willowy lads one used to see, and perhaps still sees, holding lighted candles and swaying at Bono concerts. Unfortunately, too many Republican politicians seek to emulate those twerps, hoping to woo female voters.

“My advice to them is to forget about it. They merely make a hash of it and wind up embarrassing themselves. If a woman happens to go for that type — as with shoes and handbags — she wants the genuine article, and not the cheap knock-off.”

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Brian Fr Langley

    I feel your pain. But even the framers after drafting the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, pointed out they were best served for governing a moral populace. Steeped in the Judeo-Christian ethic, the rest they say is history. But today, (for both Government and many Corporations)ethics typically means hiring an ethicist to tell you right from wrong. I mean really! Hundreds of graduates, from University ethics programs, to tell us, how to tell right from wrong???
    .Limerick?
    This Country should be a great Nation,
    based on sublime Declaration,
    but holders of trust,
    who moral be must,
    just simply won’t rise to their station.

  • Wheels55

    I think governors do make better Presidents than Senators. However, Rand Paul is the only Republican currently being mentioned that I would vote for. I am waiting for the governors to stand up and say they are ready. The list of conservatives is weak. The list of democrats always seems to be weak, but they have strength in the amount of idiot voters.

  • Bruce A.

    Spot on as always burt. This is also the same country that elected Filmore & Buchannan. Look at the history in that era.

    • therealguyfaux

      Actually, Millard Fillmore succeeded to the presidency on the death of Zachary Taylor (1850), and was denied re-nomination by his own Party in the next election year (1852). His “crowning piece of legislation” was the Fugitive Slave Act, which, passed in order to effectuate the Great Compromise of 1850, was turned into an abomination that led to the human trafficking of free-born Northern blacks to the South.

      But hey, it was the Law of the Land. Get over it. You’re actually getting a better deal than you used to have, so why are you complaining so much? It’s those damned abolitionists causing all this trouble. We know what’s best for everybody, so how dare they try to foist their radical notions on us?