Author Archives: Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.

“Liberals & Locusts” and “Poll Results & Other Matters”

You don’t hear that much about locusts today. Not unless you read the Bible or know how the Mormons came to settle in Salt Lake City. But at one time, people lived pretty much in dread of what a swarm of them could do to farmland; namely, devour everything in sight, leaving devastation and famine…

But Think Of The Children

Frankly, I’m sick and tired of thinking about the children. It’s not that I have anything against them in general, but it’s always a specific group of them over whom I’m supposed to be fretting. For instance, these days, I’m supposed to cry myself to sleep because of the Central American tots who are flooding…

“Who Are These People?” and “Alas, Poor Obama, I Knew Him Well”

Sometimes, as I take in the passing scene, I find myself wondering if I went to sleep on earth and woke up on some other planet. And, mind you, it’s not just the politicians who are giving me this queasy feeling. For instance, Eric and Charlotte Kaufman are apparently the kind of people who are…

“Planet of the Apes” and “I’m From The Government…”

Every so often the Palestinians pick a fight with Israel for the sole purpose of provoking the Israelis to retaliate. Once, thanks to the terrorists sticking women and children in target zones, the civilian casualties pile up, the world, led by the U.S., can be counted upon to condemn the Israelis for over-reacting and to…

Drug Cartels & Left-Wing Cults

We are told that the thousands of Central American kids streaming into America aren’t really illegal aliens, that, instead, they’re refugees from those Central American countries where the drug cartels rule. My brainstorm is that we stop worrying about Muslims killing Muslims in the Middle East and, instead, send our military to Honduras, Salvador and…

“Illegal Aliens Are What They Are” and “Moral Equivalency & Other Fallacies”

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans when it comes to illegal immigration is that the Democrats stand to benefit from increasing the Hispanic vote. But both are equally guilty when it comes to not stemming the invasion. Otherwise, we would hear the Republican politicians demanding that a huge wall be erected along…

The World Cup Runneth Over

I have no interest in soccer. Just as I have no interest in most events staged during the Olympics. And, frankly, I don’t get why any American feels the need to tune in every four years to watch the World Cup or synchronized swimming. I just find it profoundly stupid to sit and watch a…

A Few Sad Truths

Only a liberal dunce could seriously contend that the exclusion of four of 20 contraceptive options constitutes a war on women. And yet in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling in the Hobby Lobby case, that is exactly what people like Hillary Clinton, Sandra Fluke and the three politically partisan harpies on the Court,…