Author Archives: Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.

“Tender Hearts & Soft-Boiled Brains” and “Death & Taxes”

We Americans like to think of ourselves as 320 million humanitarians. While it’s true that we tend to be charitable, even going so far as to help our enemies around the world when they’re hit by a natural disaster, sometimes our better nature flies in the face of commonsense. For instance, in recent weeks, we…

The Fat Lady Is Practicing Her Scales

I don’t think there is any way to overestimate the importance of the mid-term elections. Although I wish I could view the world through non-partisan eyes, Barack Obama and Harry Reid have conspired to make that impossible. I’m just hoping that a sufficient number of Americans come out of their collective coma before the fat…

It’s Chinatown

At the end of the movie, “Chinatown,” when the rich, powerful and totally depraved Noah Cross drags his granddaughter away in order to use and abuse her as he used and abused his own daughter, the private eye, J.J. Gittes, tries to stop him. But he’s held back by a friend, who says, “Forget it,…

“Notes From My Bunker” and “To Impeach Or Not To Impeach”

One of my readers is given to sending me messages fraught with anger and frustration over news items related to the ever-increasing amount of madness in the world. In his last communique, he let me know that it was getting to be too much for him to bear and that he had resorted to listening…

P.C. Stands For Politically Craven

I know that those who police American society searching for the slightest offence to members of any minority group, be it gays, blacks, illegal aliens or Muslims, are convinced that they are the only reason that the majority aren’t busily engaged in dispensing horse-whippings on every street corner. The fact is that the only thing…

The Bunk Stops Here

The usual sob sisters were at it again because it took Joseph Wood — who had murdered his ex and her father in cold blood 25 years ago — two hours to die of a lethal injection. The question, though, shouldn’t be why it took him that long to finally die but, rather, why it…

Rand Paul, I’m Talking To You!

Isolationists are always insisting that America can’t be the world’s policeman; what they don’t tell you is who should be. After all, even the most liberal pinheaded pacifist wouldn’t dare suggest this is a safe world. So who gets the job? The U.N.?! There are two reasons that’s a lousy idea. The first is that…

“Liberals & Locusts” and “Poll Results & Other Matters”

You don’t hear that much about locusts today. Not unless you read the Bible or know how the Mormons came to settle in Salt Lake City. But at one time, people lived pretty much in dread of what a swarm of them could do to farmland; namely, devour everything in sight, leaving devastation and famine…