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Inconceivable and Inevitable

I’m going to have to speak very sternly to Maerose Prizzi the next time I encounter her at our monthly meeting of the criminal organization masquerading as a political party, a.k.a the Democrats. By what right did she destroy what’s left of…

What Are the 39 Steps?

I’m sure glad you wingnuts have finally figured out there’s nothing wrong with this rotten country of ours that can’t be fixed with a two-step, three-step, twelve-step program, five-year plan, or more. For decades, we’ve been ha…

The Cold Civil War

Despite all the evidence of the past several decades, you still have not grasped one simple fact: that, just about a century after the last one ended, we engaged in a great civil war, one that will determine the kind of country we and our descendants s…

American Autumn in New York

So I’m sitting here in Zucchini Park, or whatever it’s called, watching the fetching topless lassies and trying to keep my nose pointed upwind from their stinky companions, and, man, am I digging it. Probably not since my father, the sainte…

Love for Sale

As is well known, the movie business is pretty much dead to audiences unless you’re a teenage boy, so times is hard out here in Tinseltown for a scribe like me. I mean, how am I supposed to write a hit sequel if there’s no breakout original…

The Guns Of September

You’re probably wondering if I got as weepy as you all did on Sunday, on the tenth anniversary of September 11. So let me hasten to assure you that of course I did. The memory of that day will live with me for years to come. Hardly a moment goe…

The Consequence of No Consequence

I have to laugh at you wingnuts, especially those of you “deep thinkers” who sit around endlessly debating whether His Serene Majesty the Emperor Barack Hussein Obama II, Lord of the Flies, Keeper of the Hoops, Master of the Greens, Bring…

Ill Wind

It’s hot and sunny here in liberal La-La Land today, as it is nearly every day, which means I’m out on the pool deck, writing another of my little epistles to the wingnuts, while Ginger is slathering on the suntan lotion and reading Das K…