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People In Need of a Good Place-Kicking

Okay, now call me crazy, but I thought the whole ruckus surrounding the allegedly insensitive-to-Native-Americans Washington Redskins name & mascot was over. And when I say “over,” I mean OVER. Done with. Finito. Completorama. Concluderooski. This ain’t faulty reasonin’ on my part, because it was May of 2013 when Dan Snyder, owner of the Redskins,…

No Roast for the Wicked

I distinctly remember the moment when I heard The Late Show’s David Letterman say, regarding then-presidential candidate Barack Obama, how he couldn’t think of anything about the guy he could make fun of. (I know, it’s not exactly the magnitude of Kennedy’s assassination, but I didn’t exist in 1963.) It was when I was just…

Sympathy From the ‘Devils

If you love fresh fruit, and someone dangles a ripe peach in front of your face, you really have no choice but to snatch up that puppy. It’s the same with metaphorical peaches, and it seems God has grabbed a bushel of those juicy little orbs and been waving them inside my snatching radius, boy…

Pleased to Meet You, Mr. Pidd. May I Call You ‘Stu’?

What makes a great surgeon? Using a pinch of logic, it should be an easy enough answer: his/her more serious operations (internal trauma, transplants, etc.) consistently result in a saved or extended life, while the less serious ones (bone spurs, breast augmentations, etc.) result in a pain-free or deliciously top-heavy patient. How about what makes…

Insanity With a Touch of Inanity

At some point you may have heard the classic definition of insanity as stated by Albert Einstein, S.D.G. (Smart Dead Guy), and for you haven’t-heards, it’s “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” I’ve loved it ever since I first heard it, but the longer I observe politicians, the…

Shell Game

What do you consider a depressing sight? You could ask a thousand people that question and maybe two or so ask-ees will give you a matching answer, depending on their location. To someone in Hollywood, for example, a depressing sight might be “my last picture’s gross” or “autograph-seekers with no fashion sense.” For the bulk…

On Bashes, Budgets, and Benzes

For the majority of people in America, the holiday season ended earlier this month. For a tiny minority of Americans, meaning 15 Southern Californians comprised of myself and 14 relatives, it would be just a wonderful, theoretical existence if that were really the case. (Before I go on, full disclosure for people familiar to me…

Mine’s Bigger than Yours

I predicted it a couple of weeks ago, and sure enough it happened: Democrats used the one-year anniversary of the Sandy Hook Massacre to have another go at gun control. I don’t mean to suggest I’ve said anything remotely groundbreaking here; to predict something this patently, ridiculously, supernaturally inevitable would be arguably the least impressive…