Author Archives:

Coping Mechanism

cereal-box-more-nutritious-300

If it’s one thing we conservatives are known for, it’s our adorable perkiness—face it, we’re as cute as a giggling toddler in a puppy costume holding a cupcake. Long ago my worldview was planted forever firmly on the right when I saw various photos of bubbly characters like Winston Churchill, William F. Buckley, Milton Friedman,…

Interview with the Empire

cavett lennon

Most of us have heard the question “if you could interview anyone, living or dead, who would it be?” And I’m sure you comedians out there, if asked, would answer “the living one.” (For the love of all things holy, resist.) Since I was a teenager I’ve often thought of what it’d be like to…

“Dear Jeff”

sushi

Things have certainly gotten busy since I’ve joined the columnist ranks. On top of the usual creative process and research efforts, I’ve had the added burdens of the now-concluded-THANK-GOD holiday season, a de-pacified toddler with an appetite growing faster than Lewis Black’s rage in freeway gridlock, and a disgruntled staff whose definition of the phrase…

Curses!

With 2012 preparing to rear its shiny, confetti-sprinkled head before us, no doubt the usual list of New Year’s resolutions has been written by the well-intentioned masses. (Good for them, best wishes, God bless, blah blah blah.) I’m not the resolution type I used to be. One reason for this is I find it far…

Episode Displacement

Wayne's World Nuprin

Remember E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial? Even though I was a child at the time and hadn’t noticed this sort of thing before, I could still tell I was watching a Reese’s Pieces commercial at one point. That was product placement at its finest. How about Taco Bell’s role in Demolition Man? While not as critical to the story…

Lapses in Judgment

caricature-of-a-judge

Earlier this month, the First District Court of Appeals ruled against a California man who was cited in 2009 for talking on his cell phone while stopped at a traffic light. I’ll say the word again, stopped, which I am boldly implying is not the same as in motion. According to a long-established law of physics, an…

In Other Words…

Elaine Thesaurus

It’s nothing new to see liberals engage in wordplay, where they misuse, euphemize, and essentially ruin everyday speech. That said, it’s impossible for me to not single out Politico’s Jonathan Martin, who a few days ago revealed his long-distance relationship with the word “fact” to Howard Kurtz (“…we had the fact that one of these women was…