No-Brainers

These days, you can’t go an hour without someone insisting that one thing or another is a no-brainer. They mean that something is so obvious that even a child of six or seven could figure it out. But I suspect that more times than not they are guilty of over-estimating the intelligence of the American public.

These are the folks, after all, who re-elected Barack Obama. They also keep electing boobs like Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Sheila Jackson Lee, Chuck Schumer, Barbara Boxer, Brad Sherman and Patty Murray, to represent them in Congress. Politics aside, these are very stupid people. They and the knuckleheads who vote for them are literally no-brainers.

If you’re looking for additional evidence, we the people actually stood by and allowed public sector workers to unionize. These are the people who vote as a bloc and get to negotiate their contracts with politicians. In other words, when they go on strike, unlike when private sector unions call for a work stoppage, the other side has nothing to lose. Nothing is coming out of the pockets of the politicians. It’s not their money that’s going to subsidize those over-inflated pensions; it’s ours. The pols risk nothing for caving. Instead, they stand to gain campaign contributions, volunteers and votes.

Another stupidity that took place under our noses was allowing 18-year-olds to cast ballots. Everyone knows that teenagers make lousy drivers and can’t hold their liquor, so who ever thought they should be deciding elections?

I realize that at one time, the argument was that if they were old enough to be drafted to fight and die for their country, they should be old enough to have a say in who’s running the country. But even back in the day, I thought that was only a cogent argument for allowing youngsters in the military to vote. I didn’t see how it pertained to civilians. These days, the idea that a kid who is still getting an allowance from his parents, and getting his news from Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and David Letterman, can cancel out my vote is a moral outrage.

In the past week, I have heard three professional atheists on talk radio. For all I know, it may have been the same guy. The truth is, they all sound alike. They’re all cranky and whiney, and sound as if they suffer from terminal constipation. If they simply didn’t believe in God, it would be one thing. But that’s never enough with them. The way they go on about how upset they get each time they see a cross, how they get weak in the knees and feverish, and start jibber-jabbering about the First Amendment — which says nothing about symbols, but simply prohibits Congress from establishing a religion — it’s a wonder these pathetic mooks can ever get a date.

It seems that in England, over the past two years, more than 15,000 aborted and miscarried fetuses were burned to help heat hospitals. I guess it’s fortunate that they weren’t burning coal, or English environmentalists would have been storming the barricades.

A few hundred years ago, Irish-born satirist Jonathan Swift suggested that the English should eat their children, but even he didn’t suggest they should use them for heat.

With the 2016 presidential election on the horizon, I don’t think it’s too early to suggest ground rules for the Republican challengers. First, keep in mind that you will never be the media darling. The NY Times will pretend to respect a Republican, as they did with John McCain in 2008, but only until he gets the nomination. Unfortunately, even after the Times brought out the heavy artillery, he never wised up. He really did buy the baloney that he was a statesman, which is why he refused to even refer to the vile Rev. Jeremiah Wright during the entire campaign.

It would make for a nice change if the Republican challengers didn’t spend four months supplying the enemy with eight months of ammo. Wouldn’t it be great if the candidates would stick to telling us why we should vote for them instead of giving us all the reasons to hate the other guys? If only they could grasp the simple truth that we already know those reasons only too well. Mainly, there are two. The first of these is that they’re all politicians, and therefore not to be trusted with your money or your women. The second is that they are certifiably insane, proven by the fact that each of them is convinced that in a nation of 320 million people, he alone should be the anointed one.

Speaking of he who belongs in a loony bin and not in the Oval Office, Obama actually said with a straight face that Putin’s invasion of Crimea “will simply diminish Russia in the eyes of the international community.”

How divorced from reality does a person have to be to speak of the international community in glowing terms, ignoring the obvious fact it is a community made up mainly of gangsters, thugs and jihadists, or did China, North Korea, Syria, Afghanistan, Yemen, Pakistan, Uganda, Venezuela, Cuba, Saudi Arabia, Malaysia and Somalia, all take off for parts unknown while my back was turned?

Frankly, I’m only surprised that Obama hasn’t thought to confront Putin with his ultimate threat: holding his breath.

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at NOON Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Wheels55

    The new Democratic symbol should be the Scarecrow.

  • Concernedmimi

    I’m with you, Burt, about Republicans refraining from attacking one another instead of the OTHER side! If they have learned any lessons at all, it should be this one. As I have heard many others say, ‘I would vote for a RINO any day before I’d vote for a democrat’!!!!!!

  • Darren Perkins

    If you raise your children with a modicum of sense it shouldn’t be a problem for them to vote… but alas children aren’t raised by their parents anymore: it’s schools,daycares and nannies.
    It should be a no brainer not to refer to women as posessions that need protecting from other men as if they don’t make their own decisions in regard to who they canoodle with.

  • gold7406

    When you hear “no brainer” the alarm bells should start ringing, meaning grab your wallet and run away. What someone is telling you, is “don’t even think about it, it’s true.” Similar to, “it’s a new paradigm, you’re getting in on the ground floor, it’s a slam dunk, can’t loose,it’s only money, or someone talking real fast and creating a false sense of urgency.”
    Your points are all excellent, especially about 18 year olds voting.