Category Archives: Humor

Sympathy From the ‘Devils

If you love fresh fruit, and someone dangles a ripe peach in front of your face, you really have no choice but to snatch up that puppy. It’s the same with metaphorical peaches, and it seems God has grabbed a bushel of those juicy little orbs and been waving them inside my snatching radius, boy…

Hillary and That Shoe: The Real Story

hillary-shoe-ducking

A couple of nights ago, as Hillary Clinton started to address a gathering of recycling experts in Las Vegas, a woman came striding down the aisle toward the stage and threw a shoe at her. Hillary, claiming to be unsure what was thrown, called out “Was that a bat?” I don’t think she meant bat…

Pleased to Meet You, Mr. Pidd. May I Call You ‘Stu’?

What makes a great surgeon? Using a pinch of logic, it should be an easy enough answer: his/her more serious operations (internal trauma, transplants, etc.) consistently result in a saved or extended life, while the less serious ones (bone spurs, breast augmentations, etc.) result in a pain-free or deliciously top-heavy patient. How about what makes…

Insanity With a Touch of Inanity

At some point you may have heard the classic definition of insanity as stated by Albert Einstein, S.D.G. (Smart Dead Guy), and for you haven’t-heards, it’s “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” I’ve loved it ever since I first heard it, but the longer I observe politicians, the…

And the Biggest Idiot in Iraq Is …

Did you hear the one about the instructor in Iraq who was teaching a class to would-be suicide bombers on how to set off their explosives and kill people? Ok, here goes:  So he’s showing his students the ins and outs of the business.  He’s teaching them how to detonate a bomb strapped onto their…

Shell Game

What do you consider a depressing sight? You could ask a thousand people that question and maybe two or so ask-ees will give you a matching answer, depending on their location. To someone in Hollywood, for example, a depressing sight might be “my last picture’s gross” or “autograph-seekers with no fashion sense.” For the bulk…

On Bashes, Budgets, and Benzes

For the majority of people in America, the holiday season ended earlier this month. For a tiny minority of Americans, meaning 15 Southern Californians comprised of myself and 14 relatives, it would be just a wonderful, theoretical existence if that were really the case. (Before I go on, full disclosure for people familiar to me…

Mine’s Bigger than Yours

I predicted it a couple of weeks ago, and sure enough it happened: Democrats used the one-year anniversary of the Sandy Hook Massacre to have another go at gun control. I don’t mean to suggest I’ve said anything remotely groundbreaking here; to predict something this patently, ridiculously, supernaturally inevitable would be arguably the least impressive…