Democrats Will Rob You Blind

As you may have noticed, Obama’s latest attack on his opponent consists of claiming that while Romney was governor, Massachusetts had the fourth worst record in the country when it came to job creation. Or, in other words, they ranked 54th among all 57 states.

What Obama doesn’t mention is that Massachusetts had an unemployment rate of 4.2%. When your jobless rate is that low, it figures that job creation is not going to be a major priority. In fact, when you realize that in spite of a trillion dollar stimulus steamrollered by Reid and Pelosi, Obama has never been able to get the national unemployment rate under 8%, Obama would be better off comparing golf scores.

I am reminded that when some of his advisors complained about General Grant being a boozer, Lincoln supposedly said they should find out what brand of whisky Grant favored and send a few bottles to his other generals. Perhaps Obama should follow suit and send a few bottles over to his financial generals, Timothy Geithner and Ben Bernanke.

One good thing about Obama’s coloring is that you can’t see if he’s blushing when he says some of the dopey things for which he’s become so notorious. For instance, while whining recently about the economy he inherited from the previous administration, he compared his situation to a guy who goes into a restaurant, has a steak dinner and a martini, and then skips out, leaving the next guy to pick up the check. What he neglected to point out to his audience of drooling halfwits is that the second guy never bothered settling up the tab. Instead, he, too, ordered a steak dinner, and a martini, along with the lobster thermidor, the bouillabaisse, an order of lamb chops, a Waldorf salad, a baked potato, a cheese platter, a bottle of champagne and the baked Alaska, for himself, Michelle and a dozen freeloading pals who had flown in from Chicago. When it came time to pay up, he borrowed a credit card from the Chinese guy at the next table, and told him to present the bill to the American people.

Speaking of Obama, I must confess that when I first heard about all the galas that he and the missus were hosting at the White House, I just figured they liked rubbing elbows with such left-wing schlemiels as George Clooney, Paul McCartney, Steven Spielberg and Salma Hayek. But then I heard that one of the few times a president actually has to pay for anything is when it comes to White House groceries. That is, unless dinner can be passed off as an official event. Although you and I might assume that meant he was at least tying on the feedbag with some prime minister, apparently even if he’s merely breaking bread with the likes of Eva Longoria, Brad Pitt or Bob Dylan, he gets to hand us the check.

Because I am so often taken for a psychiatrist — thanks to my being bald, having a beard, being Jewish and occasionally dozing off when people are telling me their troubles — it figures that I would spend a lot of time psychoanalyzing Obama. As a result, I have arrived at certain conclusions. For instance, I decided that the reason he can never stop trying to win Vladimir Putin’s affection is because he sees him as the white father he never had. He married Michelle because he sees her as the black mother he never had. And he has set aside 53 billion tax dollars for the building of trains that nobody wants or will ever ride on because Santa Claus never brought him a Lionel Train set for Christmas.

Speaking of tax dollars, until Don Melquist, the pride of Green Valley, Arizona, called it to my attention, I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that Rep. Gabrielle Giffords took a very long time to resign. But the fact is she entered Congress in January, 2007, was shot in January, 2011, and didn’t get around to officially resigning until January, 2012. The reason the timing was so important was that she had only served four years in the House when she was shot by a crazy man, but it takes five years for a congressional pension to become vested. So, not only did she continue drawing a full salary in excess of $170,000 and receiving far superior medical attention than most of her constituents would have during that year, but by 2012, she was finally in a position to resign from the House, knowing that she would therefore have those pension checks to remember us by.

I’m dead certain that some people will think I’m calling attention to what I regard as a financial scam because Rep. Giffords is a liberal. Hillary Clinton would probably say it’s because the congresswoman is not only a liberal, but a female, and not necessarily in that order.

After all, in a recent address, the Secretary of State said, “All over the world extremists constrain and control women.” Having heard her, Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Barbara Boxer and other rich and influential women, whine about the hardships facing American women, I know she includes the United States in her diatribe.

What’s really odd about all this is that these ladies never seem to mention Arab and Muslim nations, where women are regularly constrained and controlled, not to mention abused, mutilated and stoned to death.

So far as these fatheads are concerned, the only thing holding back the women of the world are white male Republicans. Show them a conservative and they’ll show you a wife beater.

Although I can easily see where being married to Bill Clinton could turn anyone into a bitter old harpy, it still shows a certain lack of gratitude that a woman who rode a marriage license into the White House, the U.S. Senate, a major cabinet position and $100 million, should be so down on men.

Still, when all is said and done, Hillary is merely a prime example of a certain type and class. Like millions of other left-wing women who populate organizations such as NOW, the ACLU and Planned Parenthood; who attended schools like Bard, Sarah Lawrence, Harvard and Yale, where they majored in political science, drama or sociology; and later married their male equivalents; they bitch incessantly about glass ceilings when, in fact, the greatest calamities in their lives occur when their children’s nannies don’t show up on time, when a manicured nail breaks and when the batteries in their vibrators suddenly conk out.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • http://www.facebook.com/marijo.oneill Mari Jo O’Neill

    This is so true. I am sometimes ashamed of being in the female gender. I have felt this way since back in the 60′s women wanted to burn their bras. I worked all of my life and got the jobs I wanted by working hard and being very competitive with the male gender. In fact I would always be in a group of more men than women because women want to sit around and whine about stupid stuff. The groups like NOW remind me of a bunch of sex starved nags that have nothing else in their lives. It is so disgusting. 

  • Count_E_Limerick

    Obama told us about the Republican mess,
    Which he needed a big mop to address!
    But then, it’s no joke,
    The Rickles mop broke,
    So then he needed to use a scrub brush, I guess.
     
    Then, favorite whipping boys Bush, Cheney and Rove,
    The “economy car” into a deep ditch they’d drove.
    Barack made them retreat,
    “Stay in the back seat!
    Only I can get us out of this, by Jove!”
     
    Supping after the mess and the wreck,
    Obama exclaimed, “Hey, what the heck!
    Helping unionists fired,
    Made me hungry and tired -
    I came to eat, not pick up Bush’s check!”
     
    So, I ask, why watch Greta for?
    Funwise, isn’t it far better for
    Us to watch Big O read –
    Off teleprompter feed -
    Himself into exhaustion through metaphor?

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Mykal: Are you pulling my leg or did you not get my subtle reference to Obama’s referring to 57 states in 2008?

    Burt

    • GlenFS

      Don’t forget to count the states of confusion, dismay, shock…  Ha! another day another good laugh!

  • Mykal

    Uh Burt? How many states are there really? I don’t think the number has changed in around 50 years…

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Jeffreydan:  There may be bigger wastes of time than responding to Wil, but none that  come to mind.  Having said that, your response was well-stated.

    Burt

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DGT5LFXDWHPKRWLSI2WPBXIGXE Wil

    Have you noticed Romney claiming that he has all of these great plans to fix all that’s wrong with America, but he doesn’t want to give the details? But, he did sign on to the Ryan budget that will destroy Medicare and Social Security.

    • Jeffreydan

      Wil wrote:  ”Have you noticed Romney claiming that he has all of these great plans to fix all that’s wrong with America, but he doesn’t want to give the details? But, he did sign on to the Ryan budget that will destroy Medicare and Social Security.”  Translation: “Oh, no! Better distract everyone from my candidate’s pathetic behavior again!”

  • BurtPrelutsky

    ph16: If you agree with my reasons, why don’t you agree with my conclusion that leftists are despicable?  Just curious.

    GlenFS and Mike: Thanks for the thumbs-up.

    JeffreyDan: My words are always appropriate for all ages.  But who is Daly?  Your son?

    SouBelle:  There must be something about $2,000,000,000 that rings the bell for liberals.  Mrs. Clinton gave that amount to third world countries and Obama gave it to Brazil so they could drill for oil.  Just more proof that libs should never be trusted anywhere near the nation’s checkbook.

    Burt

    • Jeffreydan

      “JeffreyDan: My words are always appropriate for all ages.  But who is Daly?  Your son?”
      —————————————————-

      John Daly, esteemed columnist at this site. 

  • ph16

    I’m not sure I would agree with you on the trains bit, but you definitely make a whole lot of sense in the majority of the article. It’s amazing how  much you hate liberals and liberalism and while I don’t go that far with those feelings, but I do agree with your reasons for doing so.

  • GlenFS

    Burt,

    You are fearless, my man!  I don’t begrudge Giffords her vested pension as she will need it for on-the-job injury medical issues for the rest of her life.  With regard to the pension in general, my congressman’s should look much more like mine (the better to understand my needs).

    Your Obama restaurant retake is not only hilarious, but right on the money!  Obama thinks he’s the victim in his tale of woe… indeed, we are.   I remain your big fan.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.o.r.jackson Mike Jackson

    Burt,
    You are definitely on the jazz today!
    At many levels, I have no issue with Giffords receiving a pension as a congresswoman.  Even as a junior member.  Who knows how much time and additional medical assistance she’ll need.  She should receive no better nor worse care than an injured service member through the VA system.  The added benefit could be some reforms there. 
    As for her retirement benefit, etc.  The Arizona voters took care of that.
    Regarding the female megalomanic hegemony known as the DNC, brother, I could not agree with you more! 
    Should we refer to Madams Boxer, Clinton, Pelosi, and Wasserman-Schultz as the “quadramatic equation”?   I know, I know. It’s too early in the morning to think about  it.  But those four can spin ones head more than a calculus exam.
    It would be nice to see them spend more time on wonens and human rights  matters where the issue is truly life or death instead of worrying about where to pick up the next box of condoms and wondering about who should pay for them.
    Great article Burt,

  • Jeffreydan

      Burt,
      Great read from you as always, and a special thank you for the last few words. I’m regarding them as a green light to make my material a little less appropriate for this family establishment, should the need arise.

      With any luck, Daly isn’t as impressionable a lad as I. ; )>
            

  • SouBelle

    And to top it off, Hillary just gave 3rd. world countries 2B dollars of our tax money to help them with our man-made global warming!! Where is Sandra Fluck yelling; but we needed this money for contraception. As far as O’s flushing red face being undetectable; one only has to look into his eyes during his angry speeches and that tells it all.