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Apparently the Washington, D.C., city council took a page from Jesse Jackson’s extortionist playbook. Even though 73% of the city’s population was excited at the prospect of Wal-Mart coming to town and employing over 1,800 residents, the Council, by an 8-5 vote, decided that the giant retailer would first have to agree to pay $4-an-hour over the national minimum wage.

As a result, Wal-Mart is now re-considering the move, even though they had already begun construction on three of the five proposed outlets. The Council voted as it did because it was more important to serve the unions than the people. But I’m not wasting too much sympathy on Washingtonians. If urban morons insist on constantly electing and re-electing Democrats, they deserve to suffer the inevitable consequences of their dimwittedness.

I’m reminded of a photo someone recently sent me of a mini-mall taken in 2012. Starting on the left was a storefront devoted to re-electing Obama, offering bumper stickers and yard signs. Next door was an outfit offering assistance to those filing for bankruptcy. Next in line was a lawyer specializing in divorce, and next to that was a liquor store. The photo was captioned “A Natural Progression.” I have no idea if there was another business along the corridor, but, if so, it would have been fitting if it had been a mortuary.

In the aftermath of the Zimmerman verdict, the NAACP, along with the more craven members of the media, have engaged in deriding the defendant as a wannabe cop, while basically ignoring the fact that Trayvon Martin had been regularly suspended from high school for violence, vandalism and drug use. Apparently in some quarters, it is shameful to want to work in law enforcement, but laudable to be a law-breaker.

Another absurdity that comes to mind is that white people are labeled racists if they merely agree with the Sanford jury’s verdict, but nobody is even supposed to raise an eyebrow over the teenage thug’s referring to George Zimmerman as a “creepy-ass cracker” and telling his girlfriend, Rachel Jeantel, that “the n—-r is following me.”

The news elsewhere isn’t much better. In Kabul, Afghanistan, the U.S. military is planning to tear down a $34 million installation prior to our pulling out. It seems the military commanders in Kabul had determined as early as 2010 that there was no reason for the facility to be built, but the Pentagon has never met a dollar — let alone 34 million of them — it could resist spending.

Not to be outdone, the State Department spent $80 million for a 10-year lease on a consulate in Northern Afghanistan that will never be used.

One might hope the president would put his foot down, just the way he did when he cancelled the White House tours. But inasmuch as he just spent $100 million on a family vacation in Africa, I guess he’s in no position to put his foot down too hard.

When I recently suggested executing all the terrorists locked up in Guantanamo and then selling the facility to Donald Trump so he could build a hotel, people thought I was joshing. I wasn’t. Nobody wants to take these creeps off our hands and no state in the union wants to incarcerate them within its borders, so why are we keeping them around? Worse yet, when they go on hunger strikes, why are we force-feeding them, and why am I the only person who sees starvation as the perfect solution?

As for Trump, I’m sure I can get him aboard. After all, he already offered to turn the house of ill-repute, otherwise known as the U.N., into a hotel, so I’m sure he’d be happy to transform Gitmo into an island resort.

Finally, I must confess I was unhappy to see Iran elect a new president. For one thing, everybody knows the loony mullahs run the asylum, and presidential elections don’t alter that fact. For another, I hate having to start over with Hasan Rowhani just when I’d finally learned to spell Ahmadinejad.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Ditto

    Rather than starving the Gitmo 8-balls, I think aroma therapy would be better. The smell of sizzling steaks on the barby should be piped through to their gerbil like enclosures (cells?). Any other food aromas they might indicate they like from their pre-lockup questionaires could be added.

  • Wheels55

    For all those people who wear a hoodie and say “I am Trayvon”, please pick a black soldier who died in battle instead?

    As for Ahmadinejad, I hear that he gets some of his 72 virgins now as a retirement gift. Too bad they are all camels (one hump).

    • I Hate Fascists

      You are one funny Fascist!

  • Brian Fr Langley

    No coal, no gas, no oil, no fracking, no nuclear, no drilling, and it turns out we could get more fuel from whale oil (now banned) then we can get from wind and solar, so NO jobs. Well except green tourism jobs. But we really should ask ourselves, how many barista’s do we really need?

  • DanB_Tiffin

    I was always surprised at the amount of attention given to Ahmadinejad. I thought everyone knew he was really just the public face. The real powers were the mullahs, all along. How will our media see this new guy? Whatever sells, I guess.

  • G. Daylan

    Great idea about Gitmo. The administration brags about firing missiles from drones at suspected targets (with attendant collateral damage) but insists on treating captured terrorists like white collar criminals. Go figure.