Hillary and That Shoe: The Real Story

hillary-shoe-duckingA couple of nights ago, as Hillary Clinton started to address a gathering of recycling experts in Las Vegas, a woman came striding down the aisle toward the stage and threw a shoe at her. Hillary, claiming to be unsure what was thrown, called out “Was that a bat?” I don’t think she meant bat as in baseball. I think she meant bat as in creepy flying rodent. Perhaps she based her guess on the premise that likes attract.

Meanwhile, the woman strode back up the aisle, wisely holding her hands above her head, and was taken into custody by the Secret Service, which guards Hillary (but evidently not too well). To my surprise, the woman, said to be a Ms. Ernst from Phoenix, was released on her own recognizance,  although she may eventually be charged with disorderly conduct. I had confidently expected that she would be forced to do hard time in the Los Angeles jail, where Hillary sends people responsible for videos she dislikes. After all, the video of the shoe attack can be found all over the Internet.

The incident called to many minds the occasion, late in his second term, when George W. Bush, during a public appearance, was forced to duck two shoes thrown by a Muslim journalist. He did so coolly and deftly, like a veteran baseball player trying to avoid being beaned by Roger Clemens. Hillary, on the other hand, ducks flying shoes like a girl, as you can plainly see on the video.
There is a political axiom, I believe first posed by Euclid or Archimedes, that when Hillary does something, or when something happens to her, she has carefully calculated it beforehand. This is almost always true, the one trivial exception being the nomination and election of Barack Obama in 2008.
So it would not be stretching logic to suppose that Hillary arranged to have the shoe thrown at her. Remembering the Bush incident, she may have calculated that this would make her seem presidential. This would explain why Ms. Ernst was not pounded to a pulp by Hillary’s bodyguards, and why she seems on the verge of getting off scot free. Don’t be too surprised, the next time you visit Phoenix, if you see her sitting at a table in a downtown Hillary for President store front, stuffing and sealing envelopes.

I am just guessing, of course, but let’s all watch for possible further evidence that Hillary is trying to remind us of other presidents in their finest hours.

For example, if she buys a Beagle and lifts it by its ears in front of the cameras, it will be a clear reference to the time in the sixties when LBJ did just that.  Or perhaps she will visit Japan, and vomit in the lap of the prime minister. Right! George Bush the elder.  Or she visits an Indian reservation and makes a droning speech while wearing a chief’s  chapeau. Calvin Coolidge, of course.
For all those presidents, these were the defining moments of their time in office, the high points.
So, what will she do to remind us of that ole scalawag, her husband? What do we remember most about his glorious time in office? What would she most want to emulate?

She normally favors pant suits, so keep your eyes open if you see her wearing a blue dress. And especially if she orders pizza delivered to her office by a young man from Domino’s.

Author Bio:

Arthur Louis spent more than forty years as a print journalist, with the Philadelphia Inquirer, McGraw-Hill, Fortune magazine and the San Francisco Chronicle, but he is not asking for sympathy. He is the author of two non-fiction books: The Tycoons, and Journalism and Other Atrocities, as well as a novel, The Little Champ. In retirement, he has decided unilaterally that he is a profound political pundit.
Author website: http://bernardgoldberg.com
  • Eugene Rountree III

    extra anchovies anyone?!

  • iAREamerica

    Congrats Mr. Louis…you’ve officially been mocked mercilessly by Stephen Colbert for your mind-numbing conspiracy bait.

    • http://johndalybooks.com/ John Daly

      No kidding?

    • artlouis

      Did he spell my name correctly?

  • lark2

    This shoe thing is so revealing of the bias of the media …. if we needed more revelations. Hillary was made out to be the victim and she was praised for her “quips”. There was no interest in “why” the shoe was thrown … no observation that it was thrown by a “woman” … who the REPUBLICANS are supposed to be at “war” with…. no interview with the perpetrator. There was not even a contrast with the Bush shoe incident. There was NOTHING that might have extended the story for another 10 minutes. There was no contrast … George Bush said “let the man stay … he has a right to speak”. The man apparently was punished by Iraq security, but that was what the President of the United States said … it wasn’t a funny quip, I guess. Our “media” gets more disgraceful every day. They have gone from the primacy of the Fourth Estate to “keeping up with the Kardashians”. The vaunted Schools of Journalism have done a great job!

  • DukeJW

    Hillary is the media’s darling and the media will make sure this is out as long a possible to keep making Hillary look like a victim. The libs absolutely love Hillary and Hillary knows libs operate off instant emotion to get votes. The lib machine is in full swing to get their heir apparent to the throne that Obama occupies now.

  • Dcreighton

    I thought that the first thing when I saw it happen never did hear why the girl threw the shoe not one peep!

  • JB Andrews

    The Clinton’s are the kings of BS !! Remember Hillary made a big deal of coming under sniper fire. The media fawned all over her and worried that she was nearly killed. “Gee Hillary is so brave she takes on a machine gun “!!
    Turns out the whole thing was a lie. The Clintons both denied the story even though it was caught on tape. Then she said she told the story once after a long trip. Turns out she told the story twice on camera and three other times in written prepared statements. One evil Democrat lie after another from these phony’s !!
    Only the truly gullible or a democrat could ever believe these people anymore!!

  • ncub

    Well, I would surmise that you cannot be right. If, indeed, she had faked it in order to seem “presidential”, I have no doubt she would have faked being hit too. That way, she could have claimed she was a “victim of the tea pary” and make a show of her going on in spite of the pain. As it happens, she did not…or was an exceptionally poor planner.
    So your theory, Bernard, like the shoe itself, falls to the ground with the thud it deserves.

  • Ezra Pound

    Thanks for the honest tidbit Bernie

  • Chicky Feldstein

    Thanks Bernie, its good of you to try and clue some of the goyim into the obvious. Perhaps you might expose for us some of the ulterior motives going on in the Ukraine . The coup d’état that occurred there has yet to produce a freely elected president and yet the media here is turning a blind eye to the fact that a new leader has been “installed”

    • ksp48

      Goyim? What’s your problem?

  • Pete

    So Ol’ Rush thinks that Hillary faked the shoe incident. Why not? Rush has been faking being a member of the human race for years…and pretty much getting away with it.

  • Kriegar

    You should really stop smoking that stuff. It’s hurting you.

    Regarding this, I was was very, very bothered that the Bush was treated that way in a foreign land, and I am almost equally offended by this. And, since the shoe obviously flew behind Ms. Clinton, I would say that her Spidey senses were certainly competitive with Bush’s, who at least had the benefit of footwear in flight from the front. Also, after all, she is a girl In her age group, the game was typically softball, not Baseball-and more likely, volleyball.

    You really should give credit where it is due, should you not?

    • artlouis

      Sorry, she should have caught it and fired back.

  • Tony Lawrence

    Goodness… Mr. Louis could find a conspiracy in a bowl of cereal.

    • Pete

      You havn’t eaten any Monsanto contaminated grains yet, have you.

  • Artlouis

    To think I came out of retirement for this!? Madonna Mia! What’s a Fascist to do!?

    • artlouis

      Somebody hijacked my name to write that message. Liberals play dirty.

      • skeptik

        Yeah, but you’re an iddiot anyway! GOP tool creep!

  • KAG505

    It really seems unusual that while all in attendance had to go through a screening process even to get in, having to wear ID badges while inside the hall and Secret Service agents at the door, that this woman just strolls in, in costume, stopped by no one, carrying a bag containing said shoe, stands in the middle of the aisle and throws the shoe in the direction of the blabbermouth on stage. A political setup? More likely than not. Barry does this kind of thing too and he isn’t very good at it either.

    • skeptik

      I bet you cant spell IQ!

  • Robert Cammarata

    How disappointing that Goldberg would allow this doofus to post this stupidity on his site.

    • artlouis

      Are you referring to your message? You don’t make it clear.

      • Robert Cammarata

        Only a doofus like you would be confused. But after reading your other comments, I am not surprised.

      • skeptik

        WOW, you really got him with that brilliant sarcasm! U fkng RTRD!

  • Clark Starr

    Key quote in this… um… bit of writing: “I am just guessing, of course.”

  • Wheels55

    I don’t doubt that the shoe experience was planned by the Clintons.
    Next, Hillary will stand next to a building set for demolition and demand that the wall be taken down. And then, she will say she did not have sex with that woman (we all know she did).

    • Kriegar

      Of course you don’t. You still believe in the Weapons of No Destruction.

  • legal eagle

    More from the “old men whining” society….

    • Fred Beloit

      Punk young lawyer age bigot much?

      • Integrity

        Fred, he ain’t a young lawyer. He is old and very self-unaware. QED

  • mitchellvii

    Whether it was planned or not, the media’s reaction that somehow her cool handling of this qualifies her for the rigors of leading the free world is beyond laughable.

    • Fred Beloit

      Yeah but she has to go with it when she has no other qualifications, just like our current President who was elected because he reads a mean teleprompter.

      • Pam Mason

        Twice?

        • Fred Beloit

          Wow, I didn’t realize you were a Presidential Historian. But, yeah, twice. You can fool some of the people all the time. Are you happy to be among them?

    • Robert Cammarata

      I’ll be laughing with delight election night 2016 when she becomes Madam President.

      • Jeff Webb

        I’m actually laughing right now that you actually think it’d be a good thing for her to be president. If you’re trying to appear smart, needs work.

        • Robert Cammarata

          Unlike you perhaps, I don’t need to appear smart, because I know I am smart.

          • Jeff Webb

            Yeah, you go ahead and keep telling yourself that, kiddo. lol

            Responding with a variation of “I’m rubber and you’re glue”? Seriously?

          • Robert Cammarata

            You’re inane non sequitur betrays your (lack of) cognitive abilities.

          • Jeff Webb

            Sweetie, don’t. Gushing about someone like Mrs. Clinton isn’t a sign of intellect. You’re in over your head here.

          • Robert Cammarata

            Baby Cheeks, after reading your many inane posts, it is clear that you’re the one here who needs the intellectual life preserver.

      • Kriegar

        I will be as well. And these people will be as red as those neckties that never seem to fit around their over-abundant gullets.

  • Calvin

    Why would anyone try to look like George W. to seem Presidential?

    • Kriegar

      Um…you forgot to put Shrub. At the end, there.

  • Poindexter718

    If HRC went to the theater and somebody shot her, you freakshows would claim she’s just trying to look presidential.

    • JB Andrews

      I’d just be glad she was a goner !!

  • rextrek1

    Riiiiiight…cause (shoe throwing) that’s the measurement now we use as to whether someone is presidential or not………..wow, have you people have lost thier collective minds….sick right wing freaks.

    • Fred Beloit

      Now see this is real ad hominem right here, and so effective too.

  • Charlie_Kane

    You need a bigger tin foil hat.

    • artlouis

      You need lessons in how to distinguish between satire and serious.

  • T8662

    The shoethrower event was staged.

    • artlouis

      I would love it if someone could prove it.

      • webcelt

        I would love it if Goldberg would have proof before making assertions, but then he would never have anything to say.

        • CattyK

          Right wingers don’t have long enough attention spans to demand or consider actual EVIDENCE.

          • Pete

            They wouldn’t even understand the evidence if you drew picures in ten languages.

        • artlouis

          I spent five precious minutes writing this article. I wish you would take the trouble to look at the byline.

      • Pam Mason
        • artlouis

          Thanks for this, Pam. I think I will stick with my original position that this is a joke, satire, that it is not meant as a serious proposition. It says a lot about Hilary, however, that people consider her capable of such shenanigans.

          • Pam Mason

            I think it says more about you. The only people who considered this as a staged event came from right wing radio and blogs.

          • artlouis

            So? What’s your point? Those are legitimate sources. If you rule out right wing commentators, then you have to rule out left wing commentators.

          • CattyK

            It says a lot more about the Hillary haters…. They’re lIving in a mean-spirited fantasy world.

          • Jeff Webb

            >>They’re lIving in a mean-spirited fantasy world.<<

            We're not the ones who claimed to be under imaginary sniper fire.

          • ksp48

            Perhaps it says something about Mrs. Clinton’s reputation for veracity that many’s first thought is that she staged it.

  • JoeMyGodNYC

    I am curious about this writer’s home planet and its people.

    • Fred Beloit

      Joe’s god is in New York? Must be that new Leftist nitwit of a Mayor.

  • Groty1

    Are you nuts? The humorless progressives won’t tolerate satirizing Hillary like that. Since expressing ideas that don’t conform to progressive orthodoxy will now get you fired, I suspect satirizing Hillary may land you in the gulag. OK, I doubt they will imprison you for poking fun at Hillary with bad satire. But they’ve proven how intolerant they are of speech they don’t like. I hope you have saved a lot in case the intolerant progressives go after your job.

    • artlouis

      Thanks for the support. Let them Bring it On!

      • sjangers

        They did. I’ve never seen as many left-leaning posters and up votes for a piece on this web site. I think you struck a nerve, Art.

        • artlouis

          She may not even be nominated. Remember 2008. If the rank and file can find another first[-term senator that no one has heard of, they might vote him in. These commenters only want her because they want a winner. But she is a loser, any way you look at her.

          • sjangers

            “another first[-term senator that no one has heard of”
            Fauxcahontas?!?! Cut it out, Art. You’re scaring me!

          • artlouis

            Oops. Forgot about her. But I would prefer her to Hillary.

          • sjangers

            The advantage of a Warren candidacy is that I don’t think she could conceal how far out there she is quite as well as Hillary does.

            Btw, that was a great screen cap of Hillary that you included with your column. I’m thinking perhaps that she might be the love child of Dr. Evil and the Wicked Witch of the West.

          • artlouis

            Sounds like the basis for another post!

  • ken_lov

    Mate it must have been awful for you having to work for the liberals for 40 years – because you were part of the lamestream media, right? – and I can understand your need to lash out in your retirement at all the lefties who oppressed you. But even the rawest cadet journo would be embarrassed by this bit of juvenilia.

    • artlouis

      Are you one of those juvenile lefties who can’t make an argument without going ad hominem? Just wondering.

      • DSB

        You mean like the author did in the last sentence of the first paragraph? Such hypocrisy….you deserve the fear and angst that drives you.

        • DSB

          Oh wait…YOU are the author….wow. lmao….that’s pathetic.

      • kevdog

        You don’t understand the ad hominem fallacy. Go read a little bit.

      • CattyK

        Whereas you, on the other hand, have NEVER engaged in an ad hominem attack. Right? Your right wing crazy followers don’t have the attention span to consider evidence right in front of their noses, so you’re safe when you santimoniously pretend you haven’t.

  • Porfivor Nixon

    Another round from the “crazies.”

    • artlouis

      You have to be crazy to suppose that my post was meant to be serious.

  • lee_r

    As humor, that’s pathetic. As opinion, that’s pathetic. Congratulations on your consistency. Yay pathos!

    • artlouis

      Gee, I thought it was rather clever. What are your qualifications for judging?

  • Find the Truth

    Bush saw it coming, he was in press briefing room that had better lighting, the room was narrow, he was on the same level and was facing the shoe thrower. Hillary was on a stage, the lighting was lowered over the audience and had her shoe thrower had a better aim, would have hit her. She didn’t react until the shoe was by her. The shoe thrower is facing state and federal charges.
    Why this author finds this funny is beyond comprehension??? It wasn’t funny when it happened to George W, it’s not funny now. To, even in jest, accuse Hillary of staging this is bizzare and revealing of the strange world this author lives in.

    • artlouis

      Has anyone ever told you that you are a pompous, humorless fool? Just wondering.

      • Find the Truth

        Has anyone told you that you have no sense of humor? If you think this is funny, you need to take your Aricept old man…

        • Fred Beloit

          Why am I not surprised you are an age bigot, Findie?

  • ArgieBargie

    Then you wonder why you keep losing elections. Please never change.

    • artlouis

      I never lost an election in my life. My record is a perfect zero for zero.

  • Brian Fr Langley

    Speaking of spin that hilarious, (and it does seem your humour is a tad too subtle for liberal types) one liberal pundit described her super quick, athletic, sportsman like ducking reflexes, despite the fact her first move was when the shoe was ten feet past her head. Truth is, she looks like my little sister did when she was 6, and I was trying to teach her catch.

    • artlouis

      Thanks, Brian, I’m glad you appreciated the humor. The only reflexes she has, it seems, are political.

    • ArgieBargie

      Good humor has a well-known Liberal bias.

  • Frank

    I would be less embarrassed to have some child porn site show up in my internet history than this nonsense. Conservative thought is an oxymoron these days. Look at Nevada, they’re praising a welfare queen rancher for breaking the law for twenty years. This Bundy hick bought too many cows, get’s farm subsidies and refuses to pay grazing fees for twenty years. But it’s ok because he’s white!

    • artlouis

      When you are gambling in Nevada, do you play the race card? I wish there were some intelligent Democrats commenting here.

      • Pug

        Maybe you could intelligently explain to us then why this rancher grazes his cattle for over 20 years on Federal land, pays no grazing fees and is suddenly a right-wing hero when a mob of armed yahoos shows up to protect his cattle.
        Should the oil companies quit paying royalties for what they produce on Federal lands? Should logging companies not pay anything to remove timber?
        See, no race card. Got any explanation for this new right wing hero?

        • artlouis

          I wrote about Hillary, not Mr. Bundy. Why are you changing the subject? You seem to have wandered into the wrong forum.

        • Iowa48

          Apparently current events are not your forte. The Feds have pretty much ended oil exploration on Federal land. And the timber industry went belly up decades ago, as the Feds gutted it when they started to protect the spotted owl, mistakenly as it were, as the barred owls dining on their cousins turned out to be the sole cause for spotted owl decline. You’re really going to have to find some fresher canards to bandy about. They have this thing called the Internet now, and you should be able to refresh your material from that.

          • Find the Truth

            Someone needs to lean how to use Google…47,427 oil and gas leases of federal land were in effect in 2013; 36,092,482 acres of federal land were under lease in 2013; 1,468 new leases of federal land were granted in 2013; 2,413 new wells were drilled on federal land in 2013; 12,617,743 acres were producing on federal land in 2013; 93,598 wells were producing on federal land in 2013.
            The U.S. timber industry is still around…
            http://www.uslumbercoalition.org/general.cfm?page=31

          • Iowa48

            Could be producing 4 to 5 times that oil if the Church of Gaia (EPA) wasn’t obstructing jobs and the economy while violating the Establishment Clause of the Constitution.. And you might want to ask the families of the tens-of-thousands of workers in the timber industry in Oregon and Washington and Idaho where that timber industry has gone, and perhaps take a tour of the devastated timber towns.

          • Find the Truth

            We are producing more than we have in decades yet you still whine, unbelievable! Regardless of your libertairian lassiez-faire fantasies, we will NOT eliminate clean water and clean air regs in the United States. Enviornmentalism isn’t a religion, it’s the response of sane people regulating actions of those that would destroy the very resources needed for human life, our water and air, in order to gather another resource. You might ask the half million who still work in the timber industry if they have a job… Things change, you as a lassiez-faire proponent should know that better than most. The rest of the 317 million of us who DO NOT work in the oil and gas business or the timber industry like our rivers and lakes to be CLEAN and free of the bottom sludge created by clear cutting. Some of us actually like to fish and hunt in those woods, some of us actually appreciate the birds that live in those woods and believe that humanity can exist without destroying the habitat everything else on the planet.

          • legal eagle

            Whining and victimization, on the part of Republicans, is a time honored tradition. Wait until Hillary is elected POTUS for the angst to increase tenfold…..LOL

          • Fred Beloit

            Far Left Hillary is way too moderate to win the Dem base. She likes playing in the cattle futures market better than she likes reading Marx.

          • legal eagle

            Hillary is far left? Care to be specific?

          • Fred Beloit

            Duh. She has long been a supporter of socialized medicine for one thing.

          • legal eagle

            Like Medicare? That’s a form of socialized medicine….

          • Fred Beloit

            Like the rule of law. That’s on the Dem hit list (see E. Holder).

            Medicare is on the hit list too. They are trying to eviscerate the Advantage part. I don’t give a crap. I was forced into Medicare. Now don’t tell me you didn’t know that part of it.

          • legal eagle

            Eviscerate Medicare Advantage? If you don’t give a crap take some laxatives…

          • Pam Mason

            How can one be far left and be too moderate at the same time?

          • Fred Beloit

            Easy. She is a Socialist. The Dem base is communist.

          • Integrity

            What difference does it make? Be sure to mention all of her accomplishments as Secretary of State. Chirp, chirp, chirp. She is also a useful doormat for a former president. Therefore, we owe the presidency to her. Love these strong women who look out for the victims of sexual harassment. QED

    • Fred Beloit

      Al Franken are you him? You so funny man make me laugh every day long.

  • Poindexter718

    That sound you hear is Bill Buckley turning over in his grave at the pablum that passes for conservative thought these days.

  • BillTheCat45

    Dim bulb Goldberg squeeks again. This is why we will keep the WH in 2016, conservatives are so incredibly dumb it’s almost painful.

    • artlouis

      Bill, It appears that you are too dumb to read a byline.

      • BillTheCat45

        Solid argument you have there pardner, try harder.

      • Kenneth Duke Masters

        I don’t see anywhere in the article a positive statement that the shoe pitcher was a plant, you suggested the possibility and mentioned various bits that tend to support that idea. I would put nothing at all past the libs. Every time I see a lib on a news talk show they are so full of it, never answering a direct question, just boilerplate lib nonsense. KDM

        • artlouis

          The point is that Hillary is such a phony that this possibly could have been staged, although no proof has come out yet.

  • ahermit

    Remember; shiny side out!

    http://zapatopi.net/afdb/

  • Pam Mason

    Please tell me this is a joke

    • artlouis

      This is a joke, but already there is talk on the radio about the incident being staged. We’ll see.

      • Pam Mason

        Let me guess? Rush?

        • artlouis

          A woman called Rush and said that it looked like a staged event, especially because Hillary seemed less bothered than she should. Rush said he wouldn’t rule it out, and also raised the point that the media isn’t paying much attention to the incident or the perpetrator.

          • Pam Mason

            Except for Rush is the “media” and is talking about it. Unless the talk is that this was a staged event (smh) what else would there be to discuss?

          • artlouis

            I think Rush was suggesting that the media doesn’t want to get into this attacker and her background, for fear that they will find that it was a staged event. Hillary is a phony and a liar — remember her plane landing under fire? –, so I too wouldn’t rule it out. But there has to be more investigation.

          • Pam Mason

            The media doesn’t want to get into this because only conspiracy theorists would actually give credence to such a thing. If she was going to stage it, wouldn’t she have chosen an event with much more press coverage? She is a brilliant woman and a very savvy politician. Good luck with the investigation LOL

          • artlouis

            You don’t have to be a conspiracy theorist to suppose that Hillary would phony things up. The evidence is there for everyone to see. (i.e., Benghazi.) By the way, if she is brilliant, perhaps you would like to cite just one thing she has done that indicates brilliance. I think she has a trite, pedestrian mind.

          • Pam Mason

            Well, for starters, she is going to the next POTUS and you will still be writing for this trite pedestrian blog. Have a nice day and don’t let your tin foil hat get too hot.

          • artlouis

            I knew you couldn’t think of anything. As for “savvy politician,” isn’t she the one who told Bill Richardson “He can’t win, Bill,” when he told her he would endorse Obama?

          • gaylib

            And you should know trite and pedestrian.

          • Find the Truth

            Who are you? Albert Einstein? You’re a hack retired reporter, give it a break pal…

          • artlouis

            You don’t have to be the world’s greatest physicist to see that Hillary is a dumb-ass. She can’t even do politics right.

          • Find the Truth

            Is that right? How does one “do politics right”? I’m pretty certain she’d bury you in any contest of wits.

          • revjimbob

            I love the way you think saying ‘Benghazi’ is evidence of any kind for your paranoid conspiracies.

          • Fred Beloit

            It is possible that there could be more press coverage?

    • revjimbob

      Poe’s Law.

      • artlouis

        Correct.

    • Fred Beloit

      Great choice of photo, art. She looks like the Wicked Witch of the North in it.

      • artlouis

        Thanks, Fred. Enjoying your other comments too.