It’s Time for Conservatives to Suspend Rational Thought

platoBeware, Plato and Aristotle; your legacies will soon be the objects of attack and ridicule by progressive politicians and their lapdog media. Logical thought is no longer in vogue.

No doubt Plato and Aristotle were knuckle-dragging conservatives.

“Low information voters” are the least of our problems; even if provided information, a growing majority of our citizens don’t know what the hell to do with it.

There comes a point when, no matter their fervent belief in a progressive philosophy or lack of information, we must face the fact many citizens do not think rationally.

Consider:

  • Buying an electric car will save the planet…but only if one ignores that electricity comes from hated nuclear, coal or natural gas-powered generating plants.
  • An insane ex-policeman murders four people and becomes a hero, a martyr redressing the country’s original sin…slavery.
  • Polls show large majorities oppose Obama’s policies, yet believe he’s doing a good job.
  • Global warming (climate change or whatever the term du jour may be) is blamed for simultaneously causing heat/cold, floods/droughts, winds/calm…not to mention approaching asteroids, human-set forest fires and a bad day on Wall Street.
  • George Bush guided Hurricane Katrina into the black voting precincts in New Orleans.
  • Chicago doesn’t have a crime problem.
  • The style and looks of a gun make it (not the animals who pull the trigger) responsible for killing innocent people.
  • Spending 40 percent more than you take in is prudent fiscal policy.
  • Reducing the nation’s nuclear capability as Iran and North Korea’s expand improves the chances for world peace.

Feel free to add to the list.

If you accept my premise (a growing number of Americans are incapable of rational thought) a question comes to mind: If facts and logic no longer garner support, how might conservatives attract the moronic vote?

A few suggestions for conservative candidates and officeholders:

  • With a backdrop of a hundred gainfully employed Americans, the conservative Secretary of Labor conducts a news conference announcing, unequivocally, Obamaphones create an uncontrollable desire to get a job.
  • Plant a rumor with an enterprising National Enquirer reporter: The progressives are seriously considering Food Stamps be used only for…food.
  • In a joint news conference, the Secretaries of Energy and the Treasury proclaim coal-fueled power plant emissions will cause five-dollar bills to fall from the heavens.
  • The new conservative Secretary of Entertainment throws her support for returning full frontal nudity to the Grammy Awards show.
  • A conservative-led FCC proclaims PBS an all-reality show network.
  • All future conservative presidents will be obligated to appear on Dancing with the Stars.
  • All automobile manufacturers will be required by a conservative Congress to equip new cars with 100-watt stereo systems; vouchers will be issued to retrofit used cars.
  • The conservative DHHS Secretary proclaims acne be added to the list of ailments qualifying for disability benefits.
  • Completion of the eighth grade qualifies anyone for a bachelor’s degree…as announced by a conservative Secretary of Education
  • A conservative Federal Election Commission rules anyone committed to vote for a conservative be immediately ushered to the front of the line at the polls…and given a free umbrella should it rain.
  • A conservative Attorney-General rules proof of membership in the human race is the only qualification for voting.

Now, that ought to solve the problem…with apologies to Plato and Aristotle.

Author Bio:

graduate of the Grady College of Journalism at the University of Georgia, Rodney authored “Leading Your Business to the Next Level,” a non-fiction business book in 2005. “Powers Not Delegated” is Rodney’s first foray into fiction; the book meshes his knowledge of history, business and current events to produce a relevant and plausible tale of domestic and international intrigue. Additionally, Rodney writes political commentary on his own blog and for other nationally known blogs/websites. Rodney lives in Atlanta. His passions include hiking, photography, history, reading, and, of course, University of Georgia football.
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1097080802 Dan Griffin

    Wouldn’t conservatives first have to engage in or have rational thought before they could suspend it? Orly Taitz and the birthers are the queens of stupid. Todd Akin, Richard Murdock,Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, and Glenn Beck have never had anything to do with rationality.

  • John Daly

    Great column. I’ve actually pondered this same thing. If only the media would help sell the lunacy like they do for the Dems.

  • DOOM161

    Republicans, not just conservatives, should also stop arguing with democrats in any logical fashion. In every debate, start by calling the opponent a racist. When they start to argue that they aren’t racists, just say that it’s too late; you’ve already called them racist. It seems to work for democrats.

    • therealguyfaux

      Tell them they are retards and lunatics, and anyone who agrees with them is one too, and that no one should want to be governed by retards and lunatics unless they are retards and lunatics too, and don’t apologize to the real retards and real lunatics, either– those who are THAT far gone couldn’t be offended anyway and hence wouldn’t be. Let them have it with a word they will find offensive and demeaning, and one which is probably more apropos in their case, since it is more demonstrable.