Just Put Some Clothes On! Problem Solved!

Kate Middleton and Prince WilliamI generally muse about the political, social and cultural life in America but sometimes I see or read something beyond our shores that has me shaking my head. Stories about the “Royals” are an example.

First of all, let me say that I haven’t a clue why people are so fascinated with the English royal family. Yes, I know who Queen Elizabeth II is and I know who her husband is and I know who her children are and I know who her father was, etc. etc., but I have no interest in knowing about their every move 24/7. Yet, by the number of covers on magazines and tabloids at every supermarket, I’m in the minority. People must be absolutely intrigued by their comings and goings, hence the paparazzi who follow these people around try desperately to get that one shot that will earn them big bucks.

I know that Prince William and Kate Middleton (the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge) are married and that she’s pregnant. (How can I not know when this seems to have been the topic of speculation for months and now confirmed.) I have to say though that every time I see a photo of Kate I want to scream “eat something….please!” I know if I ever came face-to-face with her and said that in my normally loud Brooklyn-accented voice, she, being so thin, would probably just blow away.

That being said, the paparazzi took topless photos of Kate and she and her hubby are obviously upset over them. “Their Royal Highnesses have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and a photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner. … Their Royal Highnesses had every expectation of privacy in the remote house. It is unthinkable that anyone should take such photographs, let alone publish them.”

That was a couple of months ago. Now that Kate is pregnant, the paparazzi again photographed her wearing a bikini on a beach and they’re, again, up in arms over the publication of the photos. According to “Palace representatives,” they described the violation of the couple’s rights as “grotesque” and “unjustifiable.” I’ve seen the photos and she’s so thin, she doesn’t even look pregnant and I couldn’t see any “baby bump.” (Who coined that stupid expression anyway?)

Then, of course, we have Harry, that fun-loving, Nazi-costumed younger brother of William, whose recent fame of strip billiards resulted in naked photos of him being published. Here’s what he had to say. “At the end of the day, I was in a private area and there should be a certain amount of privacy…The way I was treated… I don’t think is acceptable.”

Well, here’s advice for the “Royals” from a commoner. If you want to go topless, make sure you have four walls around you, a roof over your head, and a solid floor under your feet. Be sure that the only people in that room with you are people without cell phones or cameras. Some people are interested in your every move. Live with it or get out of the sun or using a tanning bed or spray it on. You will continue to be photographed whether you like it or not.

If you don’t want to be photographed in a bikini, then don’t wear one. Back in my day, pregnant women never wore bikinis. Ever since Demi Moore did her pregnant naked cover back in 1991 for Vanity Fair, it seems as if every celebrity can’t wait for the chance to flaunt her big belly. If you don’t want to be photographed like that, cover up! It’s that easy.

As for Harry, thinking you’re in a “private” area is ridiculous. When you get young people and, no doubt, booze in the same room, you’re going to have stupid stuff happen and if you don’t think that people are waiting for you to make a fool out of yourself, then you really should re-think your options because you’re really not bright enough to be in the real world.

Bottom line: If people weren’t interested, there would be no paparazzi.

I don’t get it, but if you do, God bless you.

Author Bio:

For over twenty years, Leona has tried to heed her husband’s advice, “you don’t have to say everything you think.” She’s failed miserably. Licensed to practice law in California and Washington, she works exclusively in the area of child abuse and neglect. She considers herself a news junkie and writes about people and events on her website, “I Don’t Get It,” which she describes as the “musings of an almost 60-year old conservative woman on political, social and cultural life in America.” It’s not her intention to offend anyone who “gets it.” She just doesn’t. Originally from Brooklyn, and later Los Angeles, she now lives with her husband, Michael, on a beautiful island in the Pacific Northwest, which she describes as a bastion of liberalism.
Author website: http://www.idontgetit.us
  • catholicvoter

    For someone who is not interested in the royals, the author sure knows a lot about them. I hardly live in a cave but I knew very little of this before I read the article.
    In any case, the author is right – cover up!

  • http://www.facebook.com/phil.silverman.9 Phil Silverman

    Ok..Bernie….when I agee w U…I agree with U. Who gives a [multiple expletive deleted] if harry’s briefs got too tight. I can’t take it. Except for an English buddy in the BBC and several Beatles and Elton John singles plus my gaga-ness over Charlotte Rampling and Judy Carne, I could care less.. What does the Queen do? Does she ever hand out sandwiches to poor kids on a Tuesday afternoon?

    • LeonaSalazar

      As much as I love being mistaken for Bernie Goldberg, this post was written by me, Leona Salazar.

  • Stephanie S

    Methinks they doth protest too much. Living off the public largesse, their allowance from grandmama, or whatever, then whining that they have no privacy. As they say in da Bronx, dat takes noive.

  • http://www.facebook.com/coylev Elaine Obrzut Coyle

    IMO there should be limits on paparazzi. Photographing a married couple in their own
    back yard & displaying it to the world is not my idea of Freedom of the Press.
    They were responsible for Prin. Diana’s death. They are the scum of the world & we should clean house.

  • http://shawmut.blogspot.com/ Dave O’Connor

    They provide the product that the very press that criticizes them makes its income. As to “you’re really not bright enough to be in the real world.” A family gathering would barely provide a room-temperature IQ standard for a “Fourth-World” backwater.

  • trailbee

    Kudos to the Royals. They managed to divert serious attention from the royals in the WH! How many people can boast about that? :)

  • http://www.lewrockwell.com/ Tuci78

    With our armed federal thugs being presented “unconventional targets” for the expenditure of those hundreds of thousands of rounds of hollow-point .40 caliber pistol ammunition – including a photograph of a woman in the third trimester of pregnancy – we can hardly criticize pregnant ladies for their desire to get suntans.

    After all, our Magnificent Mombasa Messiah is targeting them for assassination.

    What’s a little photography by comparison?

  • chief98110

    The cynic in me thinks that these photo moments are contrived to keep
    people abreast of the royals. After all the royals are a big draw for
    English tourism.

  • http://twitter.com/Trochilus Trochilus

    Sounds to me like, in her own special way, Leona Salazar is every bit as fascinated with the “Royals” as the folks who stalk them for pecuniary reward. She has written an entire column about them in the form of advice from afar, one that they will never read, nor likely ever come across!

    So it’s just more pop observation.

    It occurs to me that Leona’s husband may have given her some very sound advice all those years ago about not committing everything that crosses her mind to
    publication.

    Here’s a thought . . . write it, to be sure. But then sleep on it. If it seems just as wisely observant the next day when you re-read it, then publish it!

    Oh wait! Leona will not likely see or read this comment of mine either.

    Hmmm . . .

    • LeonaSalazar

      Sorry to disappoint you, but I do read all the comments posted. First of all, my website is entitled, “I Don’t Get It.” I have many sources that provide me with a wide range of topics that I simply “don’t get.” I read newspapers, magazines, listen to the radio, go the movies and theatre, watch television, and travel, and find myself shaking my head and saying, “I don’t get it” at least once a day. Society’s obsession with celebrities, including the “royals,” is just one of them. I’ve written about sports figures, tv reality shows like those “starring” the Kardashians, and any number of other celebrities. Unless you’re wearing a blindfold while waiting at a checkout stand at the supermarket, you can’t help but see magazine and tabloid covers with photos and stories about “celebrities.” I’m not at all “fascinated” with celebrities or the “royals,” but I am fascinated with society’s obsession with them. Clearly, if our culture did not place such importance on these people, there wouldn’t be paparazzi trying to capture their every move. It’s this misplaced importance that I don’t get. (For your information, I never post an article the same day I write it.)

  • RickonhisHarleyJohnson

    I remember ‘back in the day’ my father had a secretary in his office who wore short skirts. We’re talking 60’s mini-skirts. She complained to him that one of the men kept looking when she knelt down to file papers. His response? If you don’t want men to look, wear longer skirts. Of course, he also told the man to behave himself.

  • nickshaw

    Other than gay or metrosexual men, Leona, I seriously doubt the comings and goings of the “royals” are of much interest to men in general.
    Royal watching seems to be a female pursuit and it probably has more to do with girls wanting to be princesses than anything else. Living vicariously through someone else, preferably someone rich, famous or both is a time honored tradition among those without lives of their own.
    Mind you, a shot of a boob or two, fuzzy and long range they may be, will get the attention of males for a millisecond (or two). It doesn’t matter who they are attached to!
    Otherwise, you’re right, if they don’t want their pictures plastered everywhere (other than, you know, the ones they want plastered everywhere) they need to think before they “pose” and stop whining when they don’t think.
    Ahhh, the royal life. It’s sooooo tough, ain’t it? ;-)

    • nickshaw

      Just to clarify, I’m not suggesting it’s just women who live vicariously through others because they don’t have lives of their own. That cuts across both…errr…all, genders!
      Make of the “gay” crack what you will. ;-)

  • Daniel

    To bad the Paparazzi’s were not following me around when I was young. If they had been I would be famous by now. Let’s face it, we live in a shallow world now.

  • Roger Ward

    Whether we like the royals and/or the paparazzi, the fact is that they are with us and probably always will be. The royals are trained from birth in what their roles among us mere mortals are; surely it’s covered somewhere in the royalty handbook that the paparazzi are behind every tree …. and what’s the appropriate behavior in public. No matter how private they might wish their lives to be, the fact is that virtually every minute of their lives is public. It’s kind of sad that their lives are lived in a goldfish bowl but they knew that from the beginning …. so they can cover up or shut up!

  • Elainehkng

    Yeah, I agree with you, the Royals know and knowing that they will be followed around by the media or paparazzi, so should have the guts to accept whatever things written or published about them. If they are unable to take whatever humiliation, then be discreet. They are adult and mature, not kids though. Even an ordinary person knows and knowing, and able to stand up to face the ‘music’

  • DOOM161

    Here’s how I avoid the paparazzi: I don’t get famous. It works very well.

  • Ron F

    We have all done stupid things when we were young. One of the big differences is that we were out of the public eye and no one cared. In addition, there weren’t cell phones whhich include video capabilities and cameras. The royals should know that they do not have any privacy and act appropriately. It goes with the job and they should quit complaining. On the other hand, I think Harry is smart enought to pilot Apache helicopters in Afghanistan.

    • nickshaw

      And smart enough not to be photographed with ugly women! ;-)

    • LeonaSalazar

      Yes, I have done some really stupid things when I was young, however, I don’t get bent out of shape when someone from my past reminds me of my mistakes. Prince Harry may know how to pilot an Apache helicopter, but that doesn’t mean he has common sense.