Liberalism Is a Progressive Disease

The reason I devote so much time to liberals is because I find them endlessly fascinating. I simply cannot fathom how so many people manage to be wrong about so many things, ranging from same-sex marriage and the Second Amendment to tax rates, open borders and affirmative action.

How is it, I wonder, that liberals find capital punishment far more abominable than they do the criminals who commit capital offenses? And why is it they find it so impossible to acknowledge that America has a problem with Islam? Japan only had to attack us at Pearl Harbor to convince us that we were at war. But the Islamics have attacked us time and again for more than 30 years, and we still have millions of Americans who refuse to acknowledge that they are our sworn enemies.

It’s not just the man on the street who insists on wearing blinders. The government, whether led by George Bush or Barack Obama, refuses to even consider racial profiling at airports, even though we all know that nearly every terrorist act in the world is committed by a young Muslim male. It makes as much sense to suggest that members of the Mafia are as likely to be Australians as Sicilians. There is a middle ground, after all, between shipping off Japanese Americans to concentration camps and using commonsense when dealing with religious psychopaths.

Why is it that liberals are so easily persuaded that there is something wrong with keeping enemy combatants stashed at Guantanamo? They claim it’s because Islamics use its mere existence for recruiting purposes. Well, frankly, I’d prefer executing the inmates, especially since we know that a large number of those who have been released have gone back to killing our soldiers. Besides, if the mere fact that we’ve imprisoned these creeps is the problem, and has nothing to do with the Cuban climate, it hardly matters if they’re held there or at Leavenworth. Heck, we could save ourselves a lot of trouble by simply changing its name from Guantanamo to West Mecca, although, frankly, I’d settle for handing them over to the tender mercies of Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Assange or Maher?	Maher or Assange?
Separated at birth? (Assange photo by Espen Moe)

For a long time, I found myself thinking that Julian Assange looked like a villain in a James Bond movie. Then, one day, it struck me that he closely resembles Bill Maher. Now I realize that Bill Maher looks like a villain in a James Bond movie.

At some point, will it ever occur to Sean Hannity that any panel that includes Bob Beckel doesn’t rate even one “great,” let alone four or five?

One of the great mysteries of life is how it is that liberals, who contribute less to charity than conservatives, and are far less likely to do volunteer work for church or community, continue to regard themselves as better, nicer, more compassionate people. It seems to me that the basis for this delusion is that they are far likelier to read the New York Times and to go “tsk tsk” over tragic events in, say, Darfur and Haiti, and to nod solemnly when they read the usual blatherings of Thomas Friedman, Maureen Dowd and Frank Rich.

To liberals, the words published in the Times constitute Holy Scripture. They regard the paper as the Newest Testament.

This is the same paper, let us keep in mind, that wrapped itself in the warm embrace of the First Amendment when it published the Pentagon Papers and, more recently, the Wikileak documents. However, when it came to exposing the global warming hoax by printing the East Anglia email exchanges, the newspaper suddenly determined they were private property. Far better, the Times decided, to place our troops and allies in danger than to embarrass Al Gore and his corrupt cronies in high places, one such place being the editorial boardroom of the NY Times.

For many years, those of us who are in favor of racial profiling have insisted that our position isn’t based on bigotry, but on commonsense. We have claimed that if all the terrorist activity was being perpetrated, not by Muslims, but by Scandinavians, we would concentrate our suspicions on Swedes. Well, truth demands that we acknowledge that we have finally uncovered a Swedish suicide bomber.

In case you missed it, his name was Taimur Abdulwahab al-Abdaly. But until he blew himself up while trying to set off a car bomb in downtown Stockholm, his friends, I understand, called him Sven.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

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