Lighten Up Day: Top Explanations for the White House Leaks

Though a very serious subject, the White House leaks and subsequent coverage provide fodder for satire.  By no means am I trivializing the leaks, but in these days of stress-creating debate, analysis and confrontation, a humorous pause is in order.

Here they are…the top explanations for the White House leaks.

• Joe Biden assumed the presidency during one of Obama’s vacations and had a few drinks with the press.

• The White House kitchen’s strict diet regimen left the staff with a severe sugar deficiency; the resulting delirium led to a weak moment.

• The New York Times blackmailed a staffer; it has a photograph of the staffer slow roasting a fox terrier.

• Jay Carney told the President that he needed some excitement is his life.

• A key staffer forgot to tell the NYT that his comments were off the record; he had to hurry off for caddy duty.

• When hired, staffers crossed their fingers when signing the confidentiality provisions of their employment agreements.

• One staffer, an illegal immigrant, thought the reporters were actually ICE agents.

• There were no leaks; the NYT made it all up.  But, since the leaks were so popular with its leftist anti-US base, the White House went along with the whole thing.

• The New York Times issued an ultimatum: if it didn’t get some juicy secrets it would release Obama’s college records.

• A staffer reasoned he could blame the leaks on Joe Arpaio with the help of the Justice Department and mainstream media.

• Another staffer, if apprehended, believed he could blame it all on a mental disorder brought on by reading Ann Coulter’s columns.

• Lastly, a staffer, when finally apprehended whined, “Bush did it.”

I hope this provided a brief mental recess.

Rodney Page

Author, “Powers Not Delegated”…a conservative political thriller

…What Could Have Been and Might Still Be

Available November 2012