The micro problems are, one, that directors seem to think they are being artful when they under-light scenes when all they’re doing is turning movies into radio shows, and, two, that far too many movies don’t believe in opening credits. It makes a certain amount of sense when TV shows open on action because they want to grab the viewer before he has a chance to start channel surfing. But with movies, the sucker has already paid for his ticket, and is not about to switch over to “The Bachelor” or some dumb talk show featuring Katie Couric or Joy Behar.
Speaking of TV, I’m surprised that nobody has followed in the footsteps of the legendary Art Linkletter and come up with a modern day version of Kids Say the Darndest Things. Just the other day, I heard a segment on some weekend radio program where they reported on some little kids replying to questions about the tooth fairy. One four-year-old was asked what he thought the tooth fairy did all with those teeth it collected. After thinking about it, the child guessed it built a house. When he was then asked why anyone would build a house out of teeth, he said, “Because people don’t have teeth made out of bricks.”
That is so much wiser, funnier and more logical, than anything that Bill Maher, Barbara Walters or Chris Matthews, has ever said, it’s obvious that the wrong people have TV talk shows.
When the Republicans said that if the Senate doesn’t come up with a budget — as it is legally obliged to do, but hasn’t done in four years — senators should stop being paid until they shape up, I had to laugh. For one thing, every senator is rich. The idea that if they don’t get a check every two weeks, they’ll have trouble paying their mortgage or putting food on the table, is ridiculous. Frankly, I’m not even terribly alarmed about Washington politicians accepting pay-offs. I figure there’s as much money on one side as the other. If a member of Congress doesn’t choose to take a bribe — I mean a campaign contribution — from, say, the Sierra Club, he can always go, hat in hand, to some major developer or even to some sane human being who is more concerned with people than with insects.
In short, I tend to worry more about power-grabbers posing as public servants than with money-grubbers.
In the ongoing debate over guns in which the mushy-headed liberals insist that the Second Amendment has outlived its shelf life, and that we should all put our childlike faith in the police to protect us, it should be noted that quite recently, the Superintendent of the Chicago Police Department bragged that his officers respond to 70% of all 911 calls. He said that in most cities, the average is in the 30-50% range.
What’s more, he admitted that he had been burgled at least three or four times. What I found remarkable about that statement is that he had apparently lost count. It’s like someone saying, “I’ve been married three or four times” or “I’ve undergone heart surgery three or four times.” But whether it was three or four or a hundred times, I’m willing to wager that the Chicago cops responded to 100% of his 911 calls.
Here in L.A., I’m in the habit of listening to radio talk show host Dennis Prager. One of his favorite questions over the years is if a caller could only save one from drowning, whether he would rescue his dog or a stranger. Although Prager describes himself as a dog lover, he is convinced that it is the person who should be saved. He explains that, as a religious Jew, his decision is based on his belief that the stranger, being a human being, is born in God’s image.
Perhaps because I’m not religious, I don’t see things his way. I believe that although it would break my heart to let Angel die, I would always choose to save a child. However, Prager never mentions if the stranger happens to be Hitler. Okay, he’s dead. But would I look at a crack addict or a tattooed biker Nazi or a gangbanger, and say, “Well, he or she is made in God’s image, so I will let Angel, whom I love and for whom I am singularly responsible, die”? I would not. So far as I’m concerned, she is far closer to my idea of God’s image than some brain-dead junkie or some white supremacist.
Finally, I am sad to hear that the Boy Scouts of America is considering changing its policy banning homosexual scout masters. I understand that the majority of gays are not pedophiles or pederasts, but I also know that if a young boy or teenager is going to be violated on an overnighter in the woods, it is far less likely to be done by a heterosexual. I also know that none of those campaigning for an open door policy for gays are about to cough up the money to reimburse the Boy Scouts when the inevitable lawsuit occurs.
If homosexuals are so anxious to teach survival skills to youngsters, there’s nothing to stop them from forming the Gay Scouts of America, and absolutely no reason to force a group that’s been around for over a century to accommodate them.
The only reason that the Scouts are even considering violating their policy is because of money. It seems that several sponsoring groups have been threatened with boycotts unless they stop supporting Scout activities. But there’s no reason that those who profess to support traditional values can’t push back with similar threats of their own. I guarantee there are more of you than there are of them. They’re just not as apathetic.
Of one thing I’m certain. If gay activists win this battle, the Scout motto, “Be Prepared,” will take on a whole new meaning.
Copyright © 2013 BernardGoldberg.com