More Idle Obervations

When Obama pardoned the Thanksgiving turkey, I said that tradition had nothing to do with it. I attributed it to professional courtesy.

For years now, we have heard people bemoan the fact that, thanks to the profligate ways of Barack Obama, we will be leaving our children and grandchildren with enormous debt. Considering the way the young have flocked out twice to help elect Obama, I say it serves them right. In fact, I say let’s pile it on!

Speaking of the election, otherwise known as Another Day of Infamy, it’s said that in the Valley of the Blind, the one-eyed man is king. Unfortunately, this isn’t a monarchy. In a republic, as we’ve discovered time and again, the blind rule.

Although they are always around us, it’s generally pretty easy to ignore atheists. It’s mainly during the holiday season that they scurry out from under rocks in order to put a damper on Christmas. In a way, they’re like ants. You know they’re out there, but unless you go on a picnic, you forget how annoying they can be.

While I find it hard to imagine why atheists want to be noticed by normal people, it has occurred to me that if they had a sense of humor or irony, they would realize how totally absurd it is to make a religion out of opposition to religion.

Recently, I read an account of Osama bin Laden’s burial on May 2, 2011. It seems, according to Rear-Admiral Charles Gaouette, his body was first bathed and placed in a white sheet. Then the body was placed in a weighted bag. A military officer read prepared religious remarks which were then translated into Arabic. After that, the body was placed on a board, which was then tipped up, and the corpse slid into the sea.

I’m surprised he wasn’t accorded a 21-gun salute. If I had been in charge of the event, the bag would have been weighted with pig intestines. If memory serves, bin Laden was responsible for murdering over 3,000 Americans. What is wrong with this administration that they would feel compelled to give the Islamic creep such a respectful send-off?

Makes you wonder what will happen when Charles Manson finally kicks the bucket. Internment at Arlington?

A recent poll determined that most Americans regard Canada as our closest ally. In second place was Great Britain. The next four were Israel, Japan, Germany and France. I found it interesting that two of the top five were our sworn enemies 70 years ago. And, frankly, I found it odd that France wound up ahead of, say, Australia, Poland, Botswana, Costa Rica and the Czech Republic. The French must have one hell of a terrific publicist.

Recently, I came up with the suggestion that wealthy conservatives quit blowing their wad on occasional elections, and that, instead, they spend their money buying up newspapers, magazines and TV stations. That’s a far better way of swaying public opinion in the long run.

In a similar vein, I would suggest that instead of having them show up to do occasional segments on Bill O’Reilly’s “Factor,” Fox should give guys like Dennis Miller, Adam Carolla and Greg Gutfeld, their own shows.

Young people aren’t going to sit through 55 minutes of O’Reilly’s endless ego-tripping in order to watch a few minutes of comedy, but they might very well switch over from Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, to watch comedians ridicule such rich, ripe targets as Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Al Franken, Joe Biden, Charley Rangel, Michael Bloomberg, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Henry Waxman.

Recently, I was asked the question that allegedly stumped Sigmund Freud: What do women want? After giving it some thought, I came up with: Women want what they don’t need, but suspect that other women have.

Speaking of women, rumor has it that Bill Clinton has now asked Paula Broadwell to write his biography.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • cmacrider

    Burt: The suggestion that the G.O.P should start investing in the media is a stroke of brilliance. Ergo …. it will be ignored by the G.O.P.

    • Burt Prelutsky

      No doubt.

      Burt

  • Larry B

    The should have sent the remains of that thing up to Alaska as bait in crab pots. Of course, there would be a chance the crab meat would be tainted.

    • Burt Prelutsky

      Larry: So you’re admitting my idea was better. Why not just come right out and say so?

      Burt

  • RickonhisHarleyJohnson

    A civilized burial of Bin Laden was acceptable. Going over the top, was not. Simply, wrap his body and dump him would have been sufficient. Don’t think we should have put his head in a tree for all who pass to view, like one of Bin Laden’s predecessor’s did to Gordon.

    As for what women want — you’re no help, Burt. Still don’t know what to get my wife for Christmas. 44th Christmas (counting dating and married) and I’m still at a loss. Aaugh!!

    • Burt Prelutsky

      Rick: We must part company on bin Laden’s burial. He never did anything that demanded respect. By giving him such a nice sendoff, we merely showed ourselves to be politically correct wimps…not what you want to do in a part of the world that only responds to shock and awe.

      As for what women want this Christmas, that’s easy. Any sensible woman, and I’m sure your wife fits that description, will want my latest book of interviews, “67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.” Two of the 67 are Bernie Goldberg and myself. Others include Newt Gingrich, Paul Ryan, Charles Krauthammer, Gary Sinise, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Michael Medved, John Bolton, Hugh Hewitt, Mike Gallagher, Victoria Jackson, Rick Santorum and the three Pats–Boone, Sajak and Robertson.

      Burt

      • RickonhisHarleyJohnson

        Thanks for the gift suggestion, Burt. On Bin Laden, I don’t think we really disagree – at least by too much. I was not in favor of a nice burial, just not in favor of behaving like a terrorist such as Bin Laden. Unmarked burials are pretty common throughout history for the enemy. Wrapped and dumped was enough for me.

  • deny916

    Burt I TOTALLY agree on the bin Laden burial. As if that murdering scum deserved any respect at all is totally beyond me! Just goes to show you how politically correct we’ve gotten. Sad…and it’s only going to get worse.
    I also agree that these big time Republican donators should be buying newspaper and TV stations. It would be the absolute best way to contend with the lame stream media. Hopefully some of the smart one will listen to your suggestion and get cracking!
    Loved the article because I really enjoy your observations because you make SOOOOOO much sense!
    Oh by the way MERRY CHRISTMAS since we’re not allowed to say that anymore either : )

    • Wheels55

      Dropping Bin Laden in the ocean is pollution. He should have been dumped at the door step of one of his Jihad buddies.

      • Burt Prelutsky

        Wheels: I think parts of his carcass should have been auctioned off on eBay, the money to go towards a pension fund for the Seals who exterminated him.

        Burt

    • Burt Prelutsky

      Deny: Thanks for the kind words. Merry Christmas to you and all my other faithful readers.

      Burt