Oh, No, Obama!

Recently, in my morning email, I received a fake quiz. It consisted of 10 quotes and I was being asked to figure out which of the quotes should be attributed to Sarah Palin, Dan Quayle, Barack Obama or George W. Bush. It wasn’t hard to guess that Obama was the source for all 10. The joke, of course, was that, according to liberals, Palin, Quayle and Bush, are all dunces, whereas Obama has been widely praised by nincompoops in the media for his brilliance and eloquence.

So, now, with no further ado, I take great delight in presenting the brilliant, eloquent and charismatic, Barack Obama:

“Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s.”

“I‘ve now been in 57 states, I think, one left to go.”

“On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes, and I see many of them in the audience here today.”

“What they’ll say is, ‘Well it costs too much money,’ but you know what? It would cost, about…It, it, it would cost about the same as what we would spend. It. Over the course of 10 years it would cost what it costs us. (nervous laugh) All right. Okay. We’re going to. It, it would cost us about the same as it would cost for about, hold on one second. I can’t hear myself. But I’m glad you’re fired up, though. I’m glad.”

“The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies, to our health care system.”

“I bowled a 129. It’s like, it was like the Special Olympics or something.”

“Of the many responsibilities granted to a president by our Constitution, few are more serious or more consequential than selecting a Supreme Court justice. The members of our highest court are granted life tenure, often serving long after the presidents who appointed them. And they are charged with the vital task of applying principles put to paper more than 20 centuries ago to some of the most difficult questions of our time.”

“Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. I haven’t had much sleep in the last 48 hours.”

“It was interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There’s a lot of I don’t know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing.”

“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”

Now, being a fair-minded person, I will be the first to admit that over the years, I have on occasion found my mouth working somewhat independently of my brain. But, unlike Barack Obama, nobody has ever suggested that any of my speeches have rivaled the Gettysburg Address or the Sermon on the Mount, and nobody in the mainstream media has ever even reported that, when extemporizing, he not only says goofier things than Joe Biden, he says goofier things than Abbott and Costello.

This is the same marvelous spellbinder who, while reading a speech, repeatedly pronounced “Marine Corps” Marine Corpse. Can you imagine what Chris Matthews, Bill Maher and the feature writers at the NY Times, would have made of that verbal faux pas if it had been uttered by Palin, Bachmann or their favorite human piñata, George W. Bush?

Instead of insisting that Obama is Daniel Webster, William Jennings Bryan and Marc Antony, all wrapped up in one golden-tongued orator, liberals would be better off giving a standing ovation to his eloquent, brilliant and charismatic, Teleprompter.


©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write Burt!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Iklwa

    I heard this week of the latest fiasco from the Obama administration.

    First, our leader goes on vacation, announcing that when he deigns to return, he will reveal the latest in a string of “jobs plans” You will remember, he is focused upon this take like a laser beam? He told us thinks about this issue the first thing in the morning and the last thing before he goes to bed at night.

    Then, upon his return he casts aside a couple of hundred years of tradition (he said he was going to change something) and informs the Speaker of the House of Representatives he will be calling a joint session of congress so he can present this new jobs program…a day earlier than it (Congress) was scheduled to reconvene.

    On top of that, the speech would have been given in the same time slot as the Republican debate that had only been slated for the past six months.

    Next, he reconsiders the whole thing and accepts a date the Speaker suggests…that Thursday. The interesting fact here is that no one in the White House snaps that Thursday is the opening day game for the National Football League’s game pitting two past winners of the Super Bowl.

    Disconnected, who’s disconnected?

    I ask in all seriousness: Who, exactly, will be tuning in to hear this speech? Perhaps George Stephanopoulos, maybe Chris Mathews or even Bill Maher…no, I think even they (if the TV is on) will probably be watching football or Dancing With the Stars or anything except the President’s speech. We have heard it all before. He will call for sacrifice (taxes), taxing the rich (taxes) and investing in something or another (unfunded, mad spending). No, I think the share his speech will draw is going to prove to be a record low.

    The way I see it, the only jobs this president has been successful in creating and saving have been the ones for the company that produces clown shoes.
    I mean, they must have sold hundreds of pairs to the White House executive staff, re-election committee and cabinet.

    One wonders if the Obamas hold stock.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Let us not lose sight of the fact that in spite of the media giving him the sort of protection that an NFL quarterback can only dream about, the Democrats have lost one election after another since 2008. It’s nice to see that most people have glommed onto the media pimps that Bernie Goldberg has been talking and writing about for, lo, these many years.

    Burt

  • Shirl

    The hite of hiprocracy is ripe and unending in the lame stream media. Now that most people are on to them, the dummies are still relentless. There certainly is no shame to their game.

  • J. Eric

    Thanks for posting this Mr. Prelutsky. I haven’t heard any of these gaffes. And that isn’t because of the liberal media.

    Since his election, I have made it a practice in my house to “MUTE” the Commander In Chief whenever I hear him talking.

    It is a form of imposed censorship. And I will continue to abide by this enlightened, conservative practice!

  • Gus Haritos

    Sadly, I have seen videos or heard each of these gaffes about a dozen times each; yet most of the country has no idea what a dunce we have in the White House because he is protected by the media.

  • IndependentLasVegas

    While Oblahblah and his posse criticize fox news..He has the best PR propaganda specialists in the world.. CNN, MSNBC CNBC,ABC,NBC,CBS,PBS..and Every major newspaper in the USA TODAY! REMEMBER PRAVDA IN RUSSIA there is no difference here..

  • robin in fl

    when Bush Jr was in office someone gave me a book called “Bushisms” with all the funny things he had said when speaking.I remember the one about OB/GYN doctors being able to practice their “love” on women..that was one of my favorites , when I heard it on TV the first time it made me laugh and to this day it still does.that was one of his best,and the “fool me once shame on you,fool me twice can’t get fooled again”..loved that one too…..that was some funny stuff..

    perhaps it will soon be time for an “Obamaism” book with all his silly blunders..

    without his teleprompter OB seems to at times not have a clue as to what he is saying and says ‘Ummmmm,Ummmm,Ummmm” quite a bit…He is quite the speech giver,as long as someone gives him the correct lines…

    it may not be a comedy,,but can still be quite funny to listen to at times.I have on more then one occasion ,while i was busy doing something while OB was speaking,catch myself turning around,saying”did he just say that???” or did i imagine it..nope ,he said it!

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Glen: We agree that these funny lines don’t compare with all the policy blunders Obama has made, but they do show up the MSM for the biased propagandists they are. The same media types who made a big deal out of the way that Bush pronounced “nuclear” or defame Bachmann for her occasional miscues, keep insisting that Obama is brilliant and eloquent. The fact is, I have dealt in other pieces with the matters you refer to, but one can’t cover everything in a single article.

    Burt

  • Glen Stambaugh

    These misstatements do not correlate with intelligence or lack of same, so the media needs to examine itself as on why they ignore or promote them. Sure they are fun when they are made by the other side, but other than doing a little deserved levelling here by Burt, it says little about those making such statements. I’m much more interested in those policy misstatements meant to mask the real meaning of words in order to deceive: tax/invest or revenue enhancement for example.

  • Mike Jackson

    And just think, there’s plenty more good material to come. Unfortunately, it isn’t a comedy.

  • Nancye

    Charlie MvCarthy could speak better than the Puppet-in-Chief.

  • Vin Bick

    These are all examples of his scrambled thoughts, but what is most disturbing about him is his inability to perform the duties of the Office. His plans–or rather the lack of planning–harms our great nation daily. He does not respect our country, our values, our very fundamental fabric as a democracy. We all know that BO stinks….