Political Correctness Abounds

When did all this happen?  When did “gentlemen’s club” replace strip joint?  Strippers are now “exotic dancers.”  “Noncitizen defendants” is the inoffensive way of saying criminal illegal aliens.  When someone’s tax credit exceeds the amount he pays in federal income taxes, the money received is now called a “tax refund” instead of welfare.  Panhandlers are no longer called “bums.”  You shouldn’t call anyone a “black sheep” but rather an outcast.  Gifted children are now “advanced learners.”  Can you believe this crap?  (Am I allowed to say that?)

Of all the euphemisms that are around today, the one that drives me insane is “single mom” which describes any woman who’s raising her children alone.  It’s overused by those who want to pull on my heartstrings because of some woman’s plight in raising her children by herself.  For example, Mary is a single mom who has to work two jobs to pay the rent, etc., etc., etc.

Before my heart starts bleeding for someone, I want to know how they got in their predicament in the first place.  Call me cruel and uncaring.  That’s fine.  I just want to know how this woman came to be a mother raising her children on her own.  Is she divorced?  Is she widowed?  Is she an unwed mother?  I want to know this before I start pouring out my limited reserve of compassion.

Is she divorced?  Is the father paying child support or is he a dead beat dad?  The father might have left the wife for some dumb reason and is a real s.o.b.  That’s truly unfortunate but I’d hope she’d be taking his sorry butt to court and getting every court-ordered penny of child support out of him.

Is she widowed?  The dad might not have had life insurance and left the wife unexpectedly to fend for herself and her children.  I’ll save my compassion for people in this category.  Women who did the right thing, got married, had children, and for whatever reason, are left with the children after their husband dies.  My mother died when I was eight years old.  I never referred to my Dad as a “single Dad.”  My Dad was a widower raising two little kids.  He did all the right things and deserved the status of “widower.”

Is she an unwed mother?  Well, then, where’s the father?  Does she even know who the father is?  Is he paying child support?  If not, why not?  Has she gone to court to enforce a judgment of child support?

For me, the bottom line has always been when did it become socially acceptable to be an unwed mother?  I’ve no idea.  Back in the 60s, I went to a lot of weddings.  But if a baby came soon afterwards, “we” all started counting backwards the number of months since the wedding.  No one was ostracized but we were all aware of the fact that the couple “had to get married.”  That’s the way it was done.

On this subject, I’m unapologetically old school.  When I was looking for a photo to accompany this article, I plugged in “courtship, marriage, children” and a photo of Elizabeth Barrett Browning popped up.  That tells you something.  We’re not talking about a generation gap or being old-fashioned, we’re talking a whole other century and not the one we just left behind ten years ago!

While there may be growing numbers of financially independent women and older and single women deciding to have children on their own, as reported in the Washington Post in May of 2009, I know the sharp rise in unwed mothers is not in this demographic.  I’m going to say, and I’m sure the statistics would support my conclusion, that the upswing in unwed mothers is among poor, young women, of all races, who have no education, no career, and no future and who simply don’t have a clue how difficult raising a child can be even if they were married.  (By the way, I’m not supposed to use the word “races.”)

This entire subject is mind-boggling to me on so many levels.  Unless a woman is the victim of rape, it’s her choice to have unprotected sex.  So much for all that free birth control we’re funding through Planned Parenthood and all those years of sex education in schools.  It’s really working, isn’t it?

In the Washington Post article, an astonishing statement from one woman was, “he’s a good dad and a good person, but he’s just not right for me.”  Are women so desperate for affection/attention/love, they’ll go to bed with a man without even knowing whether “he’s right for me?”

The Post article mentions the old adage, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage.”  Well, fine, the article says this no longer holds true.  Does that mean there is no continuum today on how relationships develop?  Do women today have so little self-worth that they’ll risk creating a new life with someone they’ll, in all probability, not even remember in five year’s time?

You meet someone, you give them your number, they call, you talk a few times, you go out for coffee, you decide whether the person’s worth your time for a second date.  You have a few more phone calls.  You find out about the guy’s background, his family, his education, his career.  You have a third or fourth date. In today’s world, with all the risks involved, how does sex come before all this?

Doesn’t any woman nowadays wait to find out who a man is before they have sex with him?  Don’t women know that in any relationship they have the ultimate power and control over the situation?

Now, I’m sure some of you are saying, “Gosh, she’s so out of touch.”  Well, I may be almost 60 years old but I’ve never behaved in such an irresponsible way as to bring an illegitimate child into this world.  (Oops, I don’t think I’m allowed to say that either.)

And while I’m on the subject, the only other term I despise more than “single mom” is “baby mama.”  After reading the negative connotations of “baby mama” in the Urban Dictionary, I haven’t a clue why any woman would allow a man to call her his “baby mama.”

From a purely grammatical point of view, is “baby” a noun or adjective?  Shouldn’t it be “my baby’s mama?”  The implausible meaning of “baby mama” would mean the baby is a mother.  Bottom line, the use of the phrase “baby mama” is not only offensive but ridiculous.

I don’t get any of this, but if you do, God bless you.

Author Bio:

For over twenty years, Leona has tried to heed her husband’s advice, “you don’t have to say everything you think.” She’s failed miserably. Licensed to practice law in California and Washington, she works exclusively in the area of child abuse and neglect. She considers herself a news junkie and writes about people and events on her website, “I Don’t Get It,” which she describes as the “musings of an almost 60-year old conservative woman on political, social and cultural life in America.” It’s not her intention to offend anyone who “gets it.” She just doesn’t. Originally from Brooklyn, and later Los Angeles, she now lives with her husband, Michael, on a beautiful island in the Pacific Northwest, which she describes as a bastion of liberalism.
Author website: http://www.idontgetit.us
  • collecting on a judgment

    Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I’ve truly enjoyed surfing around your weblog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  • http://topdiabetestips.piczo.com/post/354602/Some_Guidelines_on_D?cr=3 Cleveland Mccarthy

    I am new in blogging and have recently run myown blog and today I am doing my best to understand as many as possible about this kind of new world. I really like your blog layout, could you let me know what layout is it? Is that custom template or is this paid one? Anyway I can’t afford to buy paid template nor have the skill to custom template myself. I’m sorry for this noob question, thanks.

  • Cam

    Leona: Politically Correct is an oxymoron. Inherant in any “political society” is the right to freedom of speech. Freedom of speech, in turn, implies the right to use any word in the Oxford or Websters dictionary. Since words are our primary mechanism for conscous thought freedom of speech allows freedom of thought.

    Unfortunately the Politically Correct Crowd are in fact thought control police because by excluding the propriety of using certain words they hope to extinguish certain thoughts.

    If a state is in the business of controlling thought — it cannot characterize itself as a “political state.” It is rapidly moving to some type of authoritism and what is so “correct” about that

  • http://none seanog

    I love to hear the sound ” Merry Christmas ”

    So, I shout to all, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

  • http://none seanog

    I love the sound of ” Merry Christmas.”

    So, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.

  • Chief98110

    I grew up in the late 40′s and saw and experienced first hand racial bigotry; there was nothing I could do about my skin color so I learned to live and adapt to the fact I was different. Now we have gone completely bonkers about fearing to upset groups that have choices and viable options. Condoms are free! Changing your skin color not so easy.

  • Roger Ward

    Your article on Political Correctness (PC) focuses on the single mom: nothing wrong with that but it leaves most of the PC area untouched. I guess an article is just not big enough to handle the entire subject. When you write a book, maybe you could do a chapter on it? Or maybe even the whole book There’s plenty to cover.

    Negro – Afro American – African American – Black ….. Illegal Alien – Illegal Immigrant -Undocumented Immigrant – Undocumented Worker ….. Indian – American Indian -Original American – Native American ….. Chinaman – Oriental – Chinese – Asian. Why the changes? I’ve never understood the need to constantly change descriptive terminology (unless it’s clearly wrong or derogatory.)

    One of my favorites is the use of “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” This was supposedly advanced by merchants who are afraid of offending any segment of their buying public …. but why is it that I’ve never heard of anyone being offfended at hearing a wish for a Happy Hannukah or a happy Cinco De Mayo? Maybe everyone is just too thin-skinned …. and don’t get me started on why the PC schools and teachers have changed Christmas Vacation to Winter Break …. or Easter Vacation to Spring Break. What’s wrong with being a Christian in a Christian nation?

    Political Correctness obfuscates what should be clearly seen. It’s dangerous because PC makes or influences national policy (i.e. eliminating profiling …. or recognizing illegal immigration for what it is.) Maybe when the libs grow up and stop worrying about the possibility of offending any single group …. or when they realize that “feelings” are not the most important thing in the world …. maybe then we can march clear-eyed into the future.

    I hope that everyone and their families and friends have a Very Merry Christmas!!! (There, I’ve said it. Now sue me.)

  • John

    First of all, Merry Christmas”, a term not heard much anymore. As for political correctness, it is the worst thing that has happened to our society. It is refreshing to hear someone speak the “truth”. Unfortunately, this is a perspective only gained through aging. Personally, I have grown very tired of it [political correctness]..

  • Ron

    Leona,

    I don’t know if this was an accident or intentional but over your article there is a ads by Google link to “Grants for Single Moms”.

    Merry Christmas

  • Ron

    I am not sure calling a person a “single mom” is political correctness. It is an accurate description of a single woman raising children. I think it is as accurate as “unwed mother”. I agree with the remainder of the article. Descibing a person as a single mom only confirms the existing circumstances and should not mean anything more. It does not say anything about how the woman became a single mom. I had never heard of the term “baby mama” before this article.

    Merry Christmas.

  • Carolyn

    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

  • Carolyn Beachley

    Excellent article and so very true! I couldn’t agree more, there is no shame in this country or pride in ones self in this PC era let’s hope this will pass and common sense takes over. To the post Liz Y reread the article you obviously didn’t read it correctly the first time, wee are aware there are some scumbags out there that no matter what you can’t collect from that fault remains with the courts and he should have seen jail time or perhaps you made a mistake in your choosing how long did you know him? Many questions about why you ended up as you did that only you can answer. Don’t shoot the messenger.

  • http://happyharry Harold Jaffe

    I have no message to write. Merry Christmas to all.

  • Liz Y

    Yes it is so easy to take a dead beat to court..what dream world do live in? Fortunately for me I busted my ass and raised my daughter myself thank you. The courts were of no help in getting my ex husband to pay one cent. I am a proud single mom who raised a now successful college educated fully employed child. How dare you write something to the effect that I should in some way be made to feel ashamed for being a divorced parent. I never asked for hand outs nor would I take them. Judge yourself lady.

  • stmichrick

    Leona; here’s another one for your PC dictionary:
    In Maryland our esteemed liberal governor now refers to illegal aliens as “New Americans.” Shortly after he coined the term a prostitution and murder ring was busted a couple miles from his residence in Annapolis. All of the criminals were New Americans.

  • Bruce A.

    Another good one Leona. Here’s soem good news for you. I understand it is now becoming fashionable or ok to once again wish people Merry Christmas.
    Hopefully this is a sign that people are starting to get sick of political correctness.
    Merry Christmas to you & the family.