“Calling Pest Control” and “The Pope & Liberal Pap”

A question that keeps repeating itself in my mind is whether only creepy people run for public office or if, somehow, it’s winning elections that transforms normal people into some distasteful form of alien life.

For instance, with all the billions of dollars that the government wastes year after year, was it really essential that they cut pensions for military veterans? God knows I’m all for saving money, but the amount these mopes saved by chiseling the veterans is hardly enough to fund the government from midnight to 12:05 a.m.

For instance, when they started building the new headquarters for Homeland Security in Washington, the budget was $3.5 billion. That’s billion, mind you. It was scheduled for completion in 2015. They are now guessing it won’t be finished before 2026 and is now budgeted at $4.5 billion. Anyone out there willing to bet me that by the time the doors are opened, the cost won’t have soared to at least seven or eight billion dollars? If anyone is looking to measure how far America has declined, they need only note how much better we treat our bureaucrats than we do our wounded warriors.

Another way to measure such things is to note that neither of our two most recent secretaries of defense had enough character to resign as a matter of principle. Robert Gates hung around even though, as he states in his book, “Duty,” he thought that Barack Obama was betraying our troops in Afghanistan. Now, as we discover from the recent bi-partisan Senate report, Leon Panetta knew on 9/11/12, two months prior to the presidential election that the deaths of four Americans in Benghazi were the result of a terrorist attack. Still, he remained silent for weeks afterward while Obama, Susan Rice and Joe Biden, all blamed it on a silly little video in order that Obama could continue to repeat his favorite mantra, that Osama bin Laden was dead and al-Qaeda was decimated.

Speaking of mantras, Martin Luther King liked to say, “I have a dream,” whereas Barack Obama prefers to say, “I have a pen and a phone.” By which, he means that he doesn’t need to reach agreement with House Republicans or even with those Senate Democrats who agree with me that Kerry’s agreement with Iran is the worst diplomatic blunder since Neville Chamberlain French-kissed Hitler’s heinie in 1938.

Obama, allegedly a Constitutional scholar, has succeeded in convincing himself that the three branches of government are the Executive, the Executive and the Executive.

In ancient times, the Greeks had a word for those who make clever, but unsound arguments. They called them Sophists. Today, except for the “clever” part, we would call them Liberals. If you pay any attention at all to the words and actions of Obama, Harry Reid and Joe Biden, the thing that is truly breathtaking is that they are always wrong. The law of averages would suggest that they would occasionally be right about something. But like all the other laws, it’s merely one more that they break on a daily basis.

Unless you watch Fox News regularly, you may never have seen or heard young Marie Harf, who is the spokesperson for the State Department. Every time she speaks, sounding like the world’s oldest Valley Girl, I get the impression that, as a teenager, she wandered into the building one day, possibly while on a high school tour of our nation’s capital, and never left.

Judging by Ms. Harf, one could easily imagine that the job might have first been offered to Lady Gaga. But I’m guessing that if it had been, she would have spurned the offer once she discovered it entailed constantly lying on behalf of this administration. “Who do you take me for,” one can imagine her saying, “Jay Carney?”

According to a new book, Hillary Clinton kept a hit list in 2008. It contained the names of all those politicians who betrayed her by supporting Obama. A few of the notables she planned to wreak Clintonian revenge upon included John Kerry, Patrick Leahy, Claire McCaskill, Christopher Dodd, Bill Richardson, Chris Van Hollen, Bob Casey, Jay Rockefeller and Ted Kennedy.

When I saw her hate list, I was shaken to my core.

Who would have ever guessed that Hillary Clinton and I had so much in common?

“The Pope & Liberal Pap”

I’m aware that a lot of people, including Charles Krauthammer, who happens to be Jewish, and the editors at Time magazine, no doubt secularists, who selected him Person of the Year, are apparently nuts about Pope Francis. I’m just curious what American Catholics honestly think of him.

I don’t happen to be Catholic, but I certainly hold no ill feelings towards the Church. But if I were a Catholic, I know I’d be conflicted about a pope who doesn’t think it’s his place to judge abortions and homosexuality, but well within his purview to condemn free market capitalism, as he did during his year-end address.

To me, just about every public pronouncement Francis has made since being elected by the College of Cardinals has sounded like something I would expect to hear during one of Obama’s State of the Union harangues. I keep thinking that a vocational guidance counselor might have steered him in a different direction by suggesting he might be happier running the DNC than the Holy See.

A recent poll of potential 2016 presidential candidates had Hillary Clinton leading Joe Biden 68% to 12%, with Elizabeth Warren and Andrew Cuomo splitting 11% between them.

On the other side, Chris Christie led with 16%, followed by Jeb Bush, Paul Ryan and Ted Cruz, with 12% each, Rand Paul with 11%, followed by Rubio, Walker, Perry and Santorum, all in single digits.

To me, the good news is that the Democrats appear to be on a lemming-like suicide mission. The notion that Mrs. Clinton — who, by all rights, should be standing trial for manslaughter because she chose to make Obama look good rather than supplying Ambassador Chris Stevens with the additional security he pleaded for in Benghazi — is their dream candidate tells us all we have to know about liberals.

I do believe the GOP nominee should be a governor and not a senator. That’s because the office calls for executive experience, not just the unnatural ability to turn every conversation into a filibuster and to survive hours a day spent in the toxic company of Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer and Dick Durbin. Christie is not my choice; unless, of course, he manages to garner the nomination and it comes down to him or the harridan who told a congressional committee that it made no difference who murdered four Americans in Libya.

In one sense she was right, of course. It certainly made no difference to Obama, who has devoted well over a year to trying to cover up the tragic events, while dismissing the massacre as a phony scandal, and not two minutes to trying to track down and kill the Islamic creeps who committed the savagery.

I don’t make a regular practice of comparing myself to Nostradamus or even Criswell, but I think it’s noteworthy that not only was I the first columnist to predict that the Arab Spring would be a total disaster, but at a time when Barack Obama was telling us that Bashar al-Assad’s days were numbered, I wrote that al-Assad would still running Syria when Obama was collecting his pension. But, to be fair to the man, he never came up with a specific number. As was the case with Hope and Change, he left it entirely up to our imagination.

With April 15th being just around the corner, as it always seems to be, I’d like to suggest it’s high time we toss out all the rigmarole involving receipts, deductions and CPAs, and finally adopt the Fair Tax. That would be a national sales tax. In other words, you would get to keep every dollar you made, be it in salary, investment or inheritance, but you’d get clipped every time you made a purchase.

You wouldn’t even have to worry about squeezing the rich to pay more because it would happen automatically because they already pay more than the rest of us for their homes, cars, clothes, airline tickets and even their haircuts.

Finally, a reader wrote to me, complaining that “The real issue today is the public’s inability to spot a snake oil salesman. Worse yet is their indifference to these weasels.”

“Even worse than that,” I replied, “is that they’re not merely indifferent. Instead, they have warm feelings for those politicians dispensing candy and toys with our tax dollars. Thanks to greed, the recipients refuse to recognize that lurking behind the whiskers, it’s Satan, not Santa. And thanks to stupidity, they fail to recognize that there’s always a price tag that reeks of sulfur.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • helplessinil

    The money saved from the veterans just happens to be the same amount they are spending for the new turbans for the troops. Funny how that works out.
    Those “evil politicians” who “betrayed Hillary” will be the first ones she goes to with her hand out when she starts her 2016 campaign.

  • Ron F

    Where in “Duty” does Robert Gates state that he thought President Obama was betraying our troops in Afghanistan? More importantly, how was he betraying them?

  • Concernedmimi

    Your comparison of MLK’s I have a Dream to BHO’s I have a pen and a phone was excellent. This will obviously be Obama’s legacy, PERIOD!!!!!!

  • gold7406

    wow,you have a lot on your mind today. I still can’t understand how the dems can complain about “the rich” while they did afford themselves “legal” insider trading. rep. moran is not seeking reelection, but as a former stock broker, it would be very interesting to see his tax return for 2013.

  • Brian Fr Langley

    And speaking of Pope Francis, I’m not sure what part of “thou shall not steal, or thou shall covet what is your neighbors, he doesn’t get. Whether Torah or Bible, the 10 commandments are still fundemental to the Jewish -Christian ethic. These commandments explicitly (and implicitly) teach a transcendant right to the ownership of individual, personal and private property. As Obama says, period. Capitalism is simply the logical extension of the right to individual private property rights. Anything different is statist and collectivist. Period. Oh and by the way Pope Francis, Jesus never called on Governments to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, or visit the prisoner. He called on individuals as a matter of personal conscience to do thusly.

    • cmacrider

      Well stated Brian