President Mitt Romney

The title of my latest book, Barack Obama, You’re Fired! (And Don’t Bother Asking for a Letter of Recommendation), is more than an example of wishful thinking. I am convinced that this year, Christmas will fall on November 6th when Santa Claus, recognizing who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, will do the right thing and fill our Christmas stocking with Mitt Romney and a Republican Senate.

The part I don’t get is why politicians who have been voted out of office in early November are then allowed to hang around until the third week of January, creating all sorts of mischief. What takes them so long to pack up and clear out? If you’re fired from a job in the real world, you’re expected to leave the premises and not let the door hit you in the backside. That being the case, why is a politician allowed 75 days to clean out his desk and hand over the keys? I mean, if we really wanted the stiff to keep voting, we wouldn’t have elected the other guy.

Speaking of other guys, back in 2006, someone who seemed to have his head screwed on right said, “The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government cannot pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies. Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means ‘the buck stops here.’ Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.”

Who would have ever guessed that Senator Obama would ever wind up being a speechwriter for Mitt Romney?

When it comes to currency manipulation, I have tried to figure out why it’s so terrible when China does it, but not equally despicable when Ben Bernanke and the Federal Reserve engage in it in order to help finance Obama’s profligate ways.

Left-wingers are always nattering on about separation of church and state, pretending that they’re quoting verbatim from the Constitution, but they’re never the least bit concerned about the actual gulf that exists between socialist policies and the Constitution.

Liberals are like those little toys that, once wound up by the media, their professors or political hacks like Bill Clinton, Dick Durbin and Al Franken, will shuffle off until they bump up against a wall of reality and logic. Because they can’t get through the obstruction and because they refuse to learn from the experience, they just keep butting their tiny heads against the wall until they wind down and topple over.

It is for that reason that even after four years of the worst administration in America’s history, they continue to rally around an arrogant, incompetent, flop like Obama. Who else but Obama would go on The View and actually refer to himself as “eye candy”? Who else but Obama would kill an annoying fly during a TV interview and boast, “That was pretty impressive, wasn’t it? I got the sucker.”

On the other hand, all things considered, bringing down the pesky insect was a lot more impressive than hogging all the glory after the Navy Seals risked their lives taking out Osama bin Laden.

I, along with most normal people, thought it was pretty creepy when Chris Matthews confessed, after listening to an Obama speech, that he had felt a thrill running up his leg.

Not to be outdone, left-wing columnist David Brooks once reminisced, “I remember distinctly sitting on Obama’s couch, looking at his pant leg and its perfect crease, and thinking he’s going to be president and, moreover, he’ll be a very good president.”

I wonder what it could possibly be about Barack Obama that leads left-wing pundits to channel their inner Barney Frank.

Finally, as much as I enjoyed the old-fashioned walloping that Romney gave Obama during the Denver debate, I got a lot more laughs out of guys like David Axelrod and Al Gore trying to explain it all away as if it had merely been a bad dream. The biggest kick of all was hearing Gore insist that the reason Obama appeared to be in a coma was because he had arrived in the Mile High City mere hours before the event.

Apparently, Gore was under the impression that Obama had walked the entire way.

I suppose at the very least we should all be grateful that for the first time ever, the big goof refrained from blaming a natural disaster on global warming.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Orejon54

    Thanks to the President’s exploitation of Sandy, as well as the stupidity of two Republican candidates, your wish was denied.  As for Mario_P-I hope you’re right about the recovery by 2016.  However, based on the last 4 years I’m not holding my breath. 

  • Mario__P

    Sorry Burt, you called it wrong. I would say better luck next time, but I predict Obama will complete his economic recovery by 2016 and the Democrats (H. Clinton) will win again.

  • Lonesome George

    Great blend of truth, wisdom(read common sense), humor and sarcasm, as usual.  Tonight I am going to tape several network’s coverage of election night just so that I can see how many excuses that can be used to explain how President Romney spanked Mr Cool!

    • Prelutsky1540

      Lonesome George:  If tonight turns out as it should, you could probably sell tickets to your screening of “Election Night Blues.”

      Burt

  • Deny916

    “That being the case, why is a politician allowed 75 days to clean out his desk and hand over the keys?”

    Thank you for bringing this up Burt!  For the life of me I can’t understand why they give these people 75 days to GET OUT!!!!!  I have asked this question several times and no one can answer it.  When you quit a job, get laid off, get fired you are out of there instantly!  This make NO sense at all!!!!!  What can you say about the government???

    As for Al Gore I’m surprised he didn’t blame Bush for obammy’s rotten debate!  Poor Bush has been blamed for everything else!

    As for obammy being “eye candy”…jeez… just about barfed up my dinner!

    Once again, another spectacular article you genius you!

    • Prelutsky1540

       Deny: You’ll have to do better than that if you want to coax an argument out of me.

      Burt

    • Mario__P

      “For the life of me I can’t understand why they give these people 75 days to GET OUT!!!!!  I have asked this question several times and no one can answer it.  When you quit a job, get laid off, get fired you are out of there instantly!  This make NO sense at all!!!!!”

      Well, just think about it. Politicians are constantly working on projects and issues. If they didn’t get enough time to depart, before every election they would have to wrap up whatever they were working on in case they were not reelected. Such unnecessary preparation before every election would add inefficiency to the government. Also, time is needed to transfer the office to the winner. You think it would be a wise idea to throw out the losing incumbent the day after the elections? Really?

      And no one you know knew the answer to that question? Maybe you should get some liberal friends.

      • cmacrider

        Actually, Britain and the Commonwealth countries have no such time period and the Prime Minister literally vacates within hours.  They seem to have been able to function as a democracy with as much continuity etc. as the American democracy.   So … so much for your theory … maybe you should take a class in comparative political systems 

        • Mario__P

          Ah! Very good point about the British electoral process. Maybe we should have all our losing incumbents leave office within a day or two. That will fix things.

          Britain has been going through numerous changes to their electoral process, especially over the last two decades. Obviously their system needs some updating. In general, the newly elected British Parliament will assemble in four weeks, while the outgoing Parliament acts as a “caretaker” until then. The British elections and transition do not take place around holidays, unlike in the US, meaning the transition may take less days than ours.

          In the US, the lame-duck President, with his cabinet, has 75 days to finalize his business. Subtracting weekends and holidays, those 75 days are reduced to about half. Because the Congress readjourns during the first week of January, the lame-duck Congress has less than two months for its transition. Subtract the weekends and holidays, and their time is cut to about 25 days, or five weeks. That is only one week longer than the Brits’.

          BTW, in my last post I should have added that the lame duck session also aids the incoming politician to transition by taking care of whatever he was responsible for back at home, like holding of a lower office.

          Since you are so fond of the Parliamentary system, maybe the US should go away with the 2nd Amendment. The Brits managed to secure their democracy with severe gun control.

  • GlenFS

    Hard to imagine that there’s a bigger boob than Biden, but Al Gore gives him a run for the money.  Can you imagine a GOP politician surviving their gaffes?  They make Dan Quayle look polished.

    • Prelutsky1540

       Glen: Mr. Quayle merely misspelled a word.  Compared to the Chicago riffraff currently in residence in the White House, Quayle was as polished as Adolph Menjou.

      Burt

  • Wheels55

    Maybe we will finally get to the bottom of Fast & Furious and Libya.
    The thing I look forward to the most is Michelle Obama leaving the White House looking all pizzed-off.

    • Prelutsky1540

       Wheels: Likewise, Mrs. Sebelius, Eric Holder, Tim Geithner, etc.

      Burt

  • RickonhisHarleyJohnson

    Speaking of lame duck mischief, with this socialist/communist my fear is mischief won’t come near describing it. 

    • Prelutsky1540

       Rick: That’s where the GOP House will have to show its muscle.

      Burt

  • DanB_Tiffin

    “President Romney” sounds great. Much work ahead, changing the direction from certain financial disaster of the liberal parasite economic policies.

    • Prelutsky1540

       DanB: Right you are.  Romney and the GOP will not merely have to put their policies in place.  They will also have to undo a lot of the stuff the Dems have done, and not just ObamaCare.

      Burt

  • Bruce A.

    Good one Burt.  Lets hope for a repeat of 1980.

    • Prelutsky1540

       Bruce: I certainly see a lot of parallels.

      Burt

  • J_Eric

    Thanks Burt.

    President Romney, it has such a responsible proud American ring to it.

    • Prelutsky1540

       I think so, too.  I’ve really gotten tired of never using that title when referring to Obama.

      Burt