Satire: Per Chris Matthews: You’re Likely a Racist if…

…you have an ancestor who lived during the seventeenth, eighteenth or nineteenth centuries.

…you like the Beatles hit, Chains.

…you watched the Science Channel’s show explaining black holes.

…you’ve ever eaten any fruit from the Cucurbitaceas family.

…you ever listened to Earl Scruggs play the banjo.

…you ever mentioned a city with a minority population of more than 10 percent.

…you live more than twenty-five 25 miles outside New York, Washington, Los Angeles or San Francisco.

…you don’t enjoy professional basketball.

…you don’t like quesadillas.

…you’ve ever heard of Gone with the Wind.

…you favorite golfer isn’t Tiger Woods.

…you enjoy black eyes peas.

…you put white sheets on your bed.

…you like Bing Crosby’s White Christmas.

…your first and last names contain more than one ‘K.’

…you’ve ever read a novel with a blackmail sub-plot.

…you use the word Mississippi in any context other than associated with the river

…you don’t use Black Diamond strings on your guitar.

…you prefer a whiteboard over a blackboard.

…you, as a child, enjoyed the Cisco Kid on TV.

…your great-grandfather was a blacksmith.

…you’ve read accounts of Hollywood blacklisting in the late forties and early fifties.

…you prefer concrete over blacktop freeways.

…you’re not offended by this satire.

…with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.