Slaughtering Sacred Cows

People in the West used to make fun of India because of their sacred cows. But now it’s India’s turn to laugh because we have become a nation overrun with privileged bovines. The major difference is that ours have only two legs.

We’re all well aware that you can’t speak honestly about blacks and Latinos without some self-righteous left-wing clod accusing you of racism. We are supposed to simply grant them a special status, pretending that it’s only white bigotry that prevents them from taking their rightful place among society’s elite. In order to do that, of course, we have to ignore the fact that the illegitimacy rate among blacks is over 70% and among Hispanics, 50%. We also have to pretend that although 79% of Asians and 76% of whites stick around long enough to get their high school diplomas, whereas only 60% of blacks and 58% of Latinos do so, it plays no role in explaining why these two groups make up such a large percentage of the perpetual underclass.

There is in fact no surer way of guaranteeing that people will never reach middleclass status than by raising kids without fathers, who will then drop out of school the first chance they get. But we are all supposed to pretend that they are the innocent victims of a racist society because to do otherwise smacks of bigotry.

Another group of people that is beyond criticism are those categorized as the homeless. Although there is no getting around the fact that in this economy, nobody except for millionaires and billionaires — you know, the folks who were in a position to plunk down $35,000 in order to break bread with the populist candidate Obama — is assured of a roof over his head, the fact remains that most of the folks who are on the streets, mooching for loose change and polluting the atmosphere, are those addicted to drugs or booze, and those psychotics who, in earlier times, would have been institutionalized for their own safety and the safety of others.

Speaking of psychotics, what is one to make of atheists? I can understand agnostics. If you’re not born into a religious family, I see nothing wrong with skepticism when it comes to a deity. In fact, it strikes me as perfectly reasonable to question religious authority when one takes a good look at a lot of those hypocritical creeps who claim to be direct pipelines to God Almighty.

But there is something within me that cringes whenever I hear or see an atheist announcing that he has it on good authority that God doesn’t exist. And on whose authority would that be? Why, his own, of course.

He will invariably declare that science provides no proof of God’s existence, and thus wrapping himself in the blanket of pure logic, he will profess that he is smarter than all those lunkheads who disagree with him. The fact that a great many of those lunkheads happen to be actual scientists doesn’t raise a doubt in the minds of these self-aggrandizing nincompoops. Like Joe E. Brown, when he cheerfully announces, at the conclusion of Some Like it Hot, after Jack Lemmon confesses that he’s not a real blonde, that he can’t have children and, finally, that he’s not even a woman, they, too, would say, “Nobody’s perfect.”

Although I confess I don’t know if God exists, I do know that science has been proven wrong too many times for anyone to use it as either a shield or a weapon.

The fact that people can’t prove that God exists doesn’t mean it proves He doesn’t. I happen to believe that those who take such obvious pleasure in denying His existence believe it makes them seem godlike. Frankly, although they pretend that they have logic on their side, I believe they are governed by their emotions, not their intellect.

I could be wrong, but I suspect that all those odd creatures who surface every December in order to intimidate communities into compliance with their opposition to crèches, carols and even referencing “Christmas” in stores and schools, are still rebelling against their parents and other authority figures. It’s as if some fairy tale crone cursed them in their cradles, dooming them to be perennial teenagers.

They claim that nobody has proven God exists, at least not to their satisfaction. But it is also true that nobody has explained the mystery of consciousness or why flowers have an aroma since that plays no part in attracting pollinating bees or how bees, who are an aerodynamic disaster, manage to fly; or how, for that matter, with an 8% unemployment rate, a $16 trillion debt and a disastrous foreign policy, Barack Obama could possibly be re-elected.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • cmacrider

    Burt: Re: Atheists & Christmas …….. I have always thought that the Atheists who pose as super logical should devote their time attempting to dispose of Anselm’s ontological arguments for the existence of God rather than running around harassing Christians and Jews who are simply celebrating their right to freedom of religion.

  • Wheels55

    Eat Mo Chikin – white meat of course.

  • RickonhisHarleyJohnson

    Speaking of the perpetual underclass, one need only look at Detroit. A microcosm of our country at large, unfortunately. What’s next? California, then Illinois, then the entire country? It’s not looking too good. Thanks for another good article, Burt.

  • Racehorse

    Just want to say thanks for the article and merry Christmas.