“Planet of the Apes” and “I’m From The Government…”

Every so often the Palestinians pick a fight with Israel for the sole purpose of provoking the Israelis to retaliate. Once, thanks to the terrorists sticking women and children in target zones, the civilian casualties pile up, the world, led by the U.S., can be counted upon to condemn the Israelis for over-reacting and to then bestow billions of dollars on the provocateurs. That in turn provides the scumbags with the money with which to purchase more missiles and more concrete with which to construct tunnels into Israel.

You never notice anyone pointing out that Germany suffered far more casualties during WWII than America did because it would be so obviously pointless. For one thing, Germany started it. For another thing, if the numbers had been reversed, it would have meant the Nazis had won the war.

Whenever these conflicts between the Jews and the Muslims break out, you can bank on the fact that the media will claim that Israel is out to commit genocide. It is widely accepted that European and, to a lesser extent, American journalists and entertainment figures are anti-Semitic. In some quarters, it’s nearly a prerequisite. As bad as that is, they also feel it essential to leave their powers of logic and reason out in the cold. I mean, when Israel is accused of committing genocide against the Palestinians, wouldn’t you think someone at NBC, ABC or the NY Times might pipe up to say: “Israel is a nuclear power with a modern military equipped with jets and tanks. If they were really out to eliminate those people whose own charter calls for the extermination of Israel, don’t you think that after three weeks, they would have killed more than a thousand Palestinians?”

Here in America, you have a Congress filled with Jewish Democrats, and yet not one of them confronts Obama over his tying funds for Central American immigrants to a bill that calls for us to help Israel purchase replacements for the Iron Dome defense system. It’s the system, by the way, that has prevented most of the 20,000 Palestinian missiles from landing, missiles that, had they landed, would have resulted in civilian fatalities that would have dwarfed what the Palestinians have experienced.

The sharp-eyed among you would have noticed that I haven’t mentioned Hamas. That is because I no longer differentiate between the terrorist organization and those who elected and continue to support them.

One so often hears about the Israeli occupation of Gaza, especially on college campuses and in newsrooms, but does anyone really believe that if such an occupation actually existed, the Palestinians could continue to fire all those rockets and dig all those damn tunnels with such impunity?

A friend of mine wrote to say he couldn’t figure out why Jewish supporters of Israel such as Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz and Howard Schultz, founder of Starbucks, continue to support the current administration. After all, on their best days, Obama and John Kerry claim to see a moral equivalence between Israel and its Arab and Muslim enemies, and, on their more candid days, clearly side with the riffraff who continue referring to America as the Big Satan.

The fact remains that so far as most Jewish liberals are concerned, the continued existence of Israel has a lower priority than same-sex marriages, open borders, abortions on demand, legalized drugs, gun control, unions, climate change and an ever-expanding federal government.

Another area where this administration is clearly out of sync with the majority of Americans is illegal immigration. Obama constantly refers to something called “comprehensive immigration reform.” But inasmuch as neither he nor congressional Democrats ever propose legislation that calls for an extension of the wall, along with armed border agents patrolling the Rio Grande, it makes about as much sense as trying to contain water in a sieve. It’s reminiscent of the days when Obama used to describe his energy policy as “all of the above,” while excluding oil, coal and nuclear power, from the list.

When it comes to promoting what amounts to open borders, the liberals are constantly telling us that we need all those unskilled, illiterate, Hispanics to do the work Americans won’t do. It’s as if they’re pretending that every American is carting around a Ph.D in advanced calculus and can’t possibly be expected to do manual labor. I contend that this country is rife with unskilled native-born illiterates who just happen to prefer collecting welfare to working.

I’m willing to predict that if you boot all those able-bodied loafers off the dole, they will suddenly discover that they’re only too happy to bus tables, flip burgers and put up drywall.

With the November elections less than 90 days away, it’s not too soon to remind people that whether you favor the Tea Party, the GOP establishment or the Libertarian wing of the party, you have a lot more in common with each other than you have with Obama, Reid, Pelosi and their congressional enablers. If you don’t get out and vote for whichever candidates have an R after their name, I say you forfeit your right to gripe about the awful direction in which America is headed.



“I’m From The Government”

Ronald Reagan once observed that “I’m from the government and I’m here to help” were the nine scariest words an American could hear. But he said that about 30 years ago. With all that has transpired since then, particularly over the past six years, what an American hears when confronted by a federal bureaucrat, whether representing the IRS, the EPA, the NSA or the FBI is “I’m from the government and I’m here to (snoop), (take your money), (take your land), (take your cattle), (take your liberty), (take your religion) and/or (take your birthright).”

Speaking of the IRS, the Heritage Foundation recently came up with a graph proving that along with all their other lies, one of the biggest concocted by the Democrats is the one about the rich not paying their fair share when it comes to income taxes. It seems that the top one percent of income earners suck up 17% of the money, but pay a whopping 37% of the taxes!

The top 2-5% rake in 15% of the dough, but pay 22% of the total taxes. It’s only when you get to the top 5-10% that things begin to even out; those folks take in 11% and pay out 12%. The top 10-25% earn 23% and pay out 17%. Those who fall into the top 25-50% earn 21%, but pay only 10% of the tax. Finally, the bottom 50% earn 12%, but kick in a measly two percent. These numbers must be a real eye-opener to those naïve souls who don’t believe that socialism is alive and well in America.

Democratic politicians don’t have a monopoly when it comes to hypocrisy, but sometimes it sure seems that way. For instance the governor of Maryland, Democrat Martin O’Malley, has been one of the loudest voices in the left-wing chorus calling for the U.S. to provide a home to the thousands of Central American youngsters flooding across our border. A show of hands, please — is anyone really surprised that when O’Malley pleads for America to roll out the welcome mat, it turns out he means anywhere but Maryland?

Thanks to Obama’s dithering over Iran, Syria, Gaza, Iraq and Ukraine, the world has rarely been such a dangerous place. And yet he claims it is as tranquil as the Garden of Eden. On the home front, he and his criminal cohort, Eric Holder, continue to ignore scandals involving the IRS, the VA, the EPA and Benghazi, all the while trying to fend off those seeking answers and looking to punish the guilty, by referring to ongoing investigations. Apparently, when these two schmucks refer to “ongoing,” they really mean “endless” and “phony.”

Another popular lie that’s been circulating ever since a bi-sexual freak named Alfred Kinsey, who conducted the most unscientific survey since Margaret Mead bid adieu to Samoa, insisted that about 10% of Americans were homosexual.

Recently, a government survey that, unlike Kinsey, did not overly rely on responses from prostitutes, prisoners and pedophiles, found that 96.6% of Americans are straight, 1.6% are gay or lesbian and 0.7% are bisexual. Apparently 1.1% decided it was nobody’s damn business.

Predictably, a spokesperson for the Lesbian Gay Bi and Transgender group (LGBT) cried foul! He, she or it, insisted that the numbers were much higher, but that lots of people simply refuse to be honest. Oh, really? When every movie, TV show and magazine, conveys the message that being lesbian, gay, bi, a tranny or having sexual relations with farm animals is cool, I suspect that some of the straight respondents – especially those in Hollywood and the media – lied in order to further their careers.

Some years ago, conservatives were being called the Silent Majority. These days, I think those whose sexual practices so titillated Dr. Kinsey should be referred to as the Noisy Minority.

Finally, during his last State of the Union address, Barack Obama said he would legislate with his pen and his phone. Led by Nancy Pelosi, House Democrats immediately rose to give Obama, the man who had just vowed to castrate Congress, a rousing ovation. That having been the case, how dare any House Democrat run for re-election? Why should anyone go to the bother of voting for them? Why should anyone pay them a salary or a pension? For that matter, why should anyone pay good money to provide them with office space and a staff?

After all, a rubberstamp only costs a couple of bucks, it doesn’t require a staff and it fits very comfortably into one of Obama’s desk drawers.

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
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©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Concernedmimi

    Amen! Excellent, Burt.