The Most Important Election Ever

Quite honestly, the only people I ever hear from who are dopier than liberals are those who identify themselves as conservatives and insist that Republicans and Democrats are identical.

Anyone who would suggest that there is no difference between Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner or Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell, is one very dumb bunny. No difference between the likes of Henry Waxman, Al Franken and Charles Rangel and Darrel Issa, Peter King and Paul Ryan? No difference between Joe Biden and Dick Cheney? No difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? You have to wonder what madcap pharmacist is supplying these alleged conservatives with their stupidity pills.

How can anyone who takes the Second Amendment seriously insist there’s no difference between the two parties when gun sales are booming, all thanks to such flame-throwing racists as Eric Holder, Al Sharpton and the Black Panthers? The good news is that income taxes on the gun industry have jumped 66% since Obama’s election, and it’s mainly due to increased sales, not Obama’s counterproductive tax policies. It’s ironic that the man who is most opposed to law-abiding citizens owning weapons not only selected Eric (“Operation Fast & Furious”) Holder to be his attorney general, but has personally done more to hype American gun sales than any prior president.

Even though the mainstream media has done everything in its power to cover up or at least downplay this administration’s scandals, even they couldn’t conceal the Secret Service hanky-panky down in Colombia. But, on the plus side, it has served to put the Service in a different light. In the past, one had to worry that if you wrote or said something disrespectful of Obama, angry agents would show up at your front door. Now, if they show up, it’s only 50-50 whether they’ve come to arrest you or because they heard you were throwing a party.

In a related matter, I heard that the cost of supplying Newt Gingrich, who continues to insist he is a viable candidate for the GOP nomination, with Secret Service protection runs the American taxpayer $38,000-a-day. So this pathetic lump of humanity, who insists he is a fiscal conservative, wastes over a million dollars a month of our money for no other reason than to massage his blimp-sized ego!

For those of you who continue to insist that it makes absolutely no difference if the president is a Democrat or a member of the GOP, please keep in mind that if John Kerry had won the 2004 election, he would not have named John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. Instead, he would have seated a couple left-wingers in the mold of Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor. Now, by a show of hands, is there anyone out there who doubts that with six left-wingers on the Court, there would be the slightest chance they’d decide that ObamaCare is unconstitutional?

In case you missed it, Harry Reid recently stated that old people love receiving junk mail. He insists they’d miss it and feel the world was passing them by if a ton of that crapola wasn’t shoved in their mailbox every day. Now if he were speaking for himself, that would be one thing. After all, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for Harry to be feeling lonely now that the number of Democrats in the Senate has gone from 60 to 53, and will soon be in the 40s. But when he starts generalizing about old people, I figure he’s including me. Well, speaking for myself and all the geezers I know personally, the two things I can say without fear of contradiction is that none of us wants to receive junk mail and none of us ever wants Harry Reid to dare speak on our behalf.

Rumor has it that, taking a leaf out of Barack Obama’s playbook, North Korea is blaming the failure of their missile launch on sabotage, bad weather and George W. Bush.

Speaking of Obama, I understand that his initial reaction to the news that Romney’s family preferred taking their beloved dog along on their vacations was to question why they would stick their pooch on the car roof instead of inside the picnic basket.


©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com!

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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/PPL2AXPXJMWPEJWFN34MPC5RNY terry

    I’M FROM MISSOURI,  CLAIRE-A-BELL MCCASKILL IS OBAMAS CLOWN.  SHE VOTES FOR EVERYTHING HE WANTS.  STIMULUS, OBAMACARE-LESS.  SHE COMES
    HOME & GOES ON THE RADIO AND PRETENDS SHE DOESNT KNOW WHO OBAMO
    IS.  I NEVER MISS HER, SHE PROVIDES BIG LAUGHS AND STUPID EXCUSES.
    CLAIRE-A-BELL IS SOPHICATED, SHE THINKS WE ARE HICKS & HAYSEEDS AND
    WE WILL NEVER FIGURE THIS SLY FOX OUT.  WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF HER
    DUPLICITY.  WE WILL VOTE HER OUT !!

  • cmacrider

    Burt:

    I assume those who allege Romney is no different from Obama
    are either supporters of Ron Paul or “social conservatives.”  If the Paul supporters expect Romney to shut
    down the Federal Reserve or return to the gold standard, I expect they will be disappointed.   However, if they are hoping that Ron Paul’s
    call to get spending under control and begin the long process of returning to
    limited government, then I suggest Ron Paul’s message will resonate much more with
    a Romney administration.   If the social
    conservatives expect Romney to make right to life and contraception issues as
    front page issues, I expect they will be disappointed.  However, I think they can expect this open
    war on Christianity to come to an end, and their views on social issues
    to have the legitimacy and the respect they deserve in a self respecting
    democracy.

    As to your general question …. Is there a difference between
    Romney and Obama.  My suggestion is not
    much … EXCEPT:

    1.      
     Romney
    will put forward some sane economic policies so that the private sector can
    plan and act in the future with confidence and a degree of certainty …. In contrast
    to the chaos that Obama has created.

    2.      
    Romney will appoint a cabinet that is actually
    competent and actually look like they belong on the world stage representing a
    first class power   ….. in contrast to
    the doo fusses that Obama has appointed who couldn’t hold down a job as a
    municipal official in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada.

    3.      
     Romney
    will restore America as the world’s leading military power while he concurrently:

    a.      
    Requires Canada (my country), the U.K.,
    Australia, Germany etc. to increase their military commitments so that they
    carry their fair share, and

    b.     
    Will not embark on some ill advised military
    adventurism, and

    c.      
    Will actually take the advice of his military
    commanders so that we don’t see the idiotic policy of expending American lives
    while at the same time telling the Taliban America is leaving within X months;
    and

    d.     
    Will unequivocally support the Israeli democracy
    to ensure Iran etc. don’t start some ill advised military venture;

    e.     
    Will establish clear and firm positions with
    Russia and China so it is clear that there is no room for improper exploitation
    on their part

    ……. All of which sharply contrasts
    with Obama foreign policy which looks like shear buffoonery.

    4.      
    Even if the Republican’s win both Houses, Romney
    will remove the confrontational partisanship so that centre of the road
    Democrats still have the ear of the Administration …. In contrast to Obama’s
    Chicago style thuggery.

    5.      
    Will actually spend some time behind the desk in
    the Oval Office getting a handle on the files and producing solutions and
    leadership for the country ….. in contrast to Obama who obviously is not
    capable of doing anything but reading what is on the Teleprompter. 

    OO Other than that, there just two peas in a pod.
    O

    • GlenFS

      CM,  I agree on all points.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Royalsfan67: I have no idea what you are referring to when you write “these types of things.”  Is it something I wrote or something in the comments?

    Miltm: Right you are.  As I have pointed out numerous times, Supreme Court appointments are often the curses one president inflicts on those who follow him in the Oval Office and on future generations of Americans.

    Glen: Yet another reason I’m glad I’m not on Facebook.

    Burt

  • Royalsfan67

    It is usually the Ron Paul nuts I see suggesting these types of things

  • Miltm13

    The people insisting that Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich or whoever gets in, or they’ll stay home in November, are idiots.

    I’m not convinced that Romney is the second coming of Lincoln, nor Reagan. But to give Obama a chance to pack the Supreme Court with liberal judges is irresponisiple. That would give Obama almost the same power that FDR wanted in “packing” the court.

    We all know if Obama wins a second term, all the old liberal judges will decide they have to retire to  ”spend more time with thier families, or pursue other interests.” Then we’ll have more Sotomayer’s and Kagan’s on the court. They last, and have a more serious impact on the nation, than any single President does.

  • GlenFS

    Burt, it leaves me wide agape when Facebook friends suggest their is no difference between Obama and Romney.  But after some back and forth on that… they always show themselves as lefties.

    Your list of Kerry consequences could be extended at great length.  Imagine if Gore had won in 2000!  No lets not.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    I believe Rick had it and Ron has it.

    Burt

  • Michael

    Speaking of Secret Service protection . . . I don’t recall hearing whether Rick Santorum had it, or whether Ron Paul has it.  Anyone know?