The N-Word and the L-Word; Bonus: Welfare, Warfare & Woeful

There are people who will find excuses for pedophiles and for women who feel themselves entitled to having abortions five minutes before the baby is ready to pop, but will call for a lynch rope if anyone dares to pronounce the word that the n-word refers to.

We have been told time and again that the world will stop spinning if white people utter the word that’s tossed around like a Frisbee in the black community. Blacks never explain why the word that’s supposed to be the worst obscenity imaginable has such wide currency within their own ranks. Black stand-up comedian Chris Rock made his name doing a bit in which he compared blacks, whom he claimed to love, to niggers, whom he despised and ridiculed. It resonated with middle-class black audiences because it summed up their own attitudes. So why is it that whites aren’t allowed to make the same obvious distinctions without resorting to the babyish n-word?

Why are we not supposed to be able to recognize the difference between men who go to school, hold down jobs, refrain from drug use, get married and help raise their children, from the bums who do none of those things?

In addition, how does calling a friend or neighbor a nigger work as a bonding agent? Do Italians call each other dagos and wops? Do Asians call each other slopes and nips and chinks? I’m 73 years old and I’ve never heard one Jew call another Jew a kike, a Hebe or a sheeny.

One of the anomalies of modern life is provided by Hollywood. Only in the town I call home would you find thousands of the very people dedicated to the eradication of the Second Amendment devoting most of their working hours to making movies and producing TV shows that glorify men protecting their families, city, nation and planet, with guns. And not just those regular guns they don’t want the rest of us to have, but humongous weapons with huge – even limitless –magazines

Speaking of life in my town, a while ago I was invited to attend a luncheon with other former L.A. Times employees. These get-togethers are a monthly affair, but I had never attended one before. Mainly, it was because even though I wrote a weekly humor column from 1967-1978, my status was always as a freelance contributor. Therefore, I knew a few people who worked in the sections where my work appeared, but not many others. But having nothing else to do one Friday, I decided to show up at the restaurant in Pasadena.

As it turned out, I only knew one person, a now retired assistant editor, but everyone was pretty friendly. That is they were until we reached the point when, after the meal, the newbies were supposed to talk about what we had done after leaving the newspaper. When it was my turn, I mentioned some of the scripts I had written for TV and then named a few of my books: “Conservatives Are from Mars, Liberals Are from San Francisco,” “Liberals: America’s Termites,” “Barack Obama, You’re Fired!” and “67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.”

The booing was so loud and raucous, you might have thought I had claimed authorship of “Mein Kampf” and “The Protocols of Zion.” Keep in mind this was supposed to be a social gathering, not a Hillary for President pep rally.

So the next time some pinhead insists that the members of the mass media aren’t left-wing bigots, send him to me. I’ll straighten him out. With the business end of my Louisville Slugger, if necessary.

When I think about the 2012 election and realize that if Mitt Romney had received the same number of votes as John McCain did in 2008, we would have rid ourselves of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Kathleen Sebelius, Lois Lerner, the Affordable Care Act and an over-reaching EPA.

Whether millions of Republicans stayed home on Election Day because they had been bribed with food stamps or simply couldn’t bring themselves to vote for a Mormon, it is worth recalling what John Stuart Mill wrote 150 years ago: “A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions, but by his inaction, and in either case he is justly accountable to them for the injury.”

Mill also observed: “The worth of a State, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.”

That’s a thought that could keep a conservative up nights.

Bonus: WELFARE, WARFARE & WOEFUL

During the Great Depression, when there were even fewer jobs than there are today, there were still a great many men who refused to go on the dole, which was what welfare was called under FDR. That was only 75 or 80 years ago, but today, as you’ve probably noticed, their kids and grandkids can’t wait to start living off the efforts of others.

Whether it’s seniors in Florida signing up for food stamps they don’t need, young people in the inner-city assuming they’re entitled to be supported by others because clowns like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson keep telling them they’re victims of oppression, illegal aliens being fed similar hooey by Democrats or simply run-of-the-mill creeps lying in order to scam their way onto the disability rolls, millions of Americans are proving to be an embarrassment to their ancestors. The land of the free has morphed into the land of the freeloader.

George Bernard Shaw once observed that when you rob Peter to pay Paul, you shouldn’t expect Paul to complain. These days, of course, beneficiary Paul is more likely to be named Pablo or P’qual.

As you’ve no doubt noticed, ever since Obama first started yammering about red lines, we’ve been hearing about green lights. If Assad did this, he would be hearing from us; if Assad did that, he’d never know what hit him. But once he did both this and that, Obama began parsing his language in a way we haven’t seen since Bill Clinton donned his professorial robes and tried to convince us that “is” sometimes meant what we all had previously thought it meant, but at other times, especially when sex was involved, meant “isn’t.” said he was only going to fire a shot across Assad’s bow. Then, instead of firing the shot, he decided he needed an okay from Congress, the very group of obstructionists he’d been verbally flaying for the past three years. But as urgent as the need to take action had been on Friday, on Saturday, Obama said it could wait another nine days until the obstructionists returned from vacation. Of course, they would then have to argue the merits of military action for another week or two, not to mention turning in those 500-word essays detailing what they’d done during their summer vacation.

On Sunday, John Kerry, who was a rotten soldier back in the 70s when he wore a uniform, proved to be a good one now that he’s wearing Obama’s collar, told Chris Wallace that he thought there was no danger in delaying action for as long as it takes to unite 535 members of Congress and 315 million Americans. But, Wallace asked, what if Congress doesn’t approve action and all those Americans continue to oppose getting involved in another Middle East mess? Kerry scoffed at the very notion.

I can see his point. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that most people thought ObamaCare was an unmitigated disaster, and look how popular it is now. Okay, bad example.

Wallace did ask Kerry what Obama would do if in the meantime Assad again attacked the rebels with sarin gas. The Secretary of Defense pooh-poohed the possibility. And he was right to pooh-pooh such a silly notion. After all, Obama has already warned Assad four or five times. By now, we have to assume the warning has finally sunk in.

I suppose by this time, nobody should be too surprised that after informing his national security advisors that he had changed his mind about sending that shot across Assad’s bow, Obama and Biden rushed off to play a round of golf. But the good news is that when he yelled “Fore!” Bashar al-Assad, Kim Jong-un and the Iranian mullahs, knew he wasn’t kidding around. He really meant it.

Speaking of chemical warfare, Chris Matthews, who’s a major role model to lispers looking to carve out careers in broadcasting, told his MSNBC audience that even Adolf Hitler never used chemical weapons. That came as belated good news to the millions of Jews who apparently only thought they had been killed by the Nazis through the use of Zyklon B, otherwise known as hydrogen cyanide.

As liberals have long contended, MSNBC isn’t just entertaining, it’s also, thanks to the likes of such deep thinkers as Matthews, Rachel Maddow, Ed Schultz, Andrea Mitchell and Al Sharpton, extremely educational.

The fact that hardly anybody ever tunes in is all the evidence liberals need to convince themselves that, just as with the NY Times, green energy and ObamaCare, it takes a special sort of birdbrain to realize just how wonderful it is.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Bob Olden

    Perhaps Obama will go down in history as the most feared of all U.S. Presidents– when it comes to errant golf balls!

  • Lance Combs

    OMG, the very fact that you are using the word makes this article controversial. I approve.

  • Donna E Turner

    You are the only writer who can make me laugh about the news. And the people who make it up.

  • Wheels55

    Kerry is showing why he would have been a lousy President. Either he shows no leadership of his own or displays zero common sense or both. I think both. He is the poster child of what too much ketchup will do to your brain.

  • G. Daylan

    Right on Burt. It was especially ironic to watch Kerry call for an attack on Asad in view of his heretofore abhorrence of all things military. Limited war is a great idea these days and great liberals are on the band wagon. I prefer General Sherman’s assessment, “War is all hell,” and his view that it should be concluded as soon as possible because in that way its tragedies can be minimized.