The Obama Event Administration

Burt & Yvonne wish all of you a very Happy Fourth of July! Please enjoy this bonus article.

As I’m sure you all know by now, Obama has suggested that for the next few months, nobody should send anyone a wedding, anniversary, birthday or bar mitzvah gift, and should, instead, send the money to him.

I must confess that my first reaction was one of elation. It seemed a great way to get out of having to buy all those pricey gifts. I could simply send a card that announced that in lieu of a waffle iron or a bed spread, I was sending a generous contribution to Obama’s re-election campaign. But it immediately occurred to me that my friends and relatives would take it as a sure sign that either I was even cheaper than they had previously suspected; or, worse yet, that I had taken total leave of my senses, and the next step was to have me committed to a loony bin.

Frankly, I am amazed that, according to the polls, Obama is tied with or running slightly ahead of Romney. It makes no sense. When you realize how great the nation’s debt has grown over the past three years, how static the unemployment rate has remained and how much respect America has lost world-wide, Obama’s approval numbers should be single digit, consisting solely of his Chicago cronies, college students and aging Bolsheviks.

In the old days, liberals believed everything they read in Pravda and the Daily Worker. Today, they believe everything they read in the New York Times or see on ABC, NBC and CBS. Once I realized that, it occurred to me that those on the Left are so hopelessly addicted to lies that it’s a shame that interventions are limited to those whose demons are alcohol, drugs or gambling. In a pinch, however, excellent results have often resulted when the dangerously deluded victims of left-wing professors and network news anchors have been treated with the business end of a baseball bat.

Speaking of liberals, something that sets them apart from rational human beings is their devotion to abortions. It was bad enough when they danced in the streets after the Roe v. Wade decision was announced. But all these years later, after science has provided them with any number of pills and devices with which to avoid pregnancy, and schools have spent more time teaching kids how to prevent bananas from getting pregnant than how to spell “Mississippi,” you would think that the issue would be about as relevant as whether we should revolt against British rule.

But if you listen to the way that liberal women carry on, you would think that such things as a nuclear Iran, a 16 trillion dollar national debt and ObamaCare, all take a backseat to abortions on demand for teenagers. The logical conclusion is that liberals are simply too dumb to have sex and chew gum at the same time.

Speaking of ObamaCare, I admit I was one of those people who was blindsided by Chief Justice Roberts siding with the four crazies on the Court. Even when earlier in the week he voted the wrong way on Arizona’s immigration law, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I thought he might have been engaged in the sort of horse-trading that frequently used to go on in Congress, when a Republican would agree to vote the wrong way on one issue in order to get a Democrat to vote the right way on another. I know that’s not how it’s supposed to work on the Supreme Court, but people are people even if they get to wear their bathrobes to work.

Although I prefer to concentrate on the bright side — namely that Obama is now forced to campaign with ObamaCare connected to him like a tin can or like a strip of toilet paper trailing from his shoe — it does raise serious questions about John Roberts. Why has he sold out his conservative principles? Why has he, the appointee of a Republican president, gone so far astray, reminding many of us of those earlier scoundrels, Earl Warren and Harry Blackmun?

I have come up with two scenarios. One, perhaps Roberts has passed out and bonked his head on a dock more times than we’ve been told about.

Or, two, he’s been seduced by those three notoriously saucy vixens, Kagan, Ginsburg and Sotomayor.

In any case, I’m taking a page out of Obama’s playbook. I blame George Bush!

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Send your comments to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Kathryn

    Burt, you are a wonder. I find myself laughing out loud with you and my morning tea.  A consistent treat! Thank you.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    John Tharp:  Exactly.  The man is only human.

    Burt

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Tharp/100001764373776 John Tharp

    I didn’n realize that John Roberts was fighting such temptations, but three hot chicks in black robes, who could resist that?

  • BurtPrelutsky

    GlenFS: I’m glad I could help provide you with a happy 4th.

    Burt

  • GlenFS

    Burt,

    Still laughing.  My money is on the “saucy vixens”.  Really what else could it be?  Thanks for making me feel a bit better about the fiasco.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    SendtheClunker: I have never understood why the right-wing media has taken to “birther’-bashing as if they’d invented it.

    sjangers: Did you have to mention Joy Behar this early in the day?  My first meal of the day might now have to be a midnight snack.

    DanB: I would have to respectfully disagree with you.  I do not believe that those who are addicted to alcohol, drugs and gambling, cause pain only to themselves.  Having known and even been related to some of those people, I can assure you that you’re sadly mistaken.

    Burt

    • DanB_Tiffin

      Obviously, Tis not the pain to OTHERS that leads them to a moment of clarity, tis the pain to themselves which can ultimately change them.

  • DanB_Tiffin

    In general, those, in my experience:

    “those whose demons are alcohol, drugs or gambling”

    cause incredible pain directly to themselves.  If there is enough pain to break through the denial, they can experience what is called “a moment of clarity”. That moment does not fix anything, but it can lead them to a suitable recovery program, of which they have often learned, by the time their demon has grown that bad.  By taking proven action and by “keep coming back”, they can live successfully without their demon controlling their thoughts and behavior.

    Liberals inflict their pain mostly onto others, so they usually never even reach “a moment of clarity” through their denial.   The sickness just continues and we all pay the price.

    Just thought I’ld put that in there.

  • sjangers

    Interesting, Burt.  I’ve used the gum-sex test myself on occasion to assess intellectual and emotional compatibility with a potential partner.  Just pop a piece or two of Hubba Bubba in during foreplay and check the results when the fun’s over.  If there’s nothing more than a couple of random bite marks on the gum, she’s clearly not the one for me.  But if she’s blowing bubbles before we’re through then I know I’ve found my kind of girl!

    As an aside, don’t you figure that Megyn Kelly would be blowing bubbles and turning them into all sorts of interesting balloon animals during climax?  Or that Joy Behar swallows hers?

    • SendTheClunkerBackToChicago

      Since we are talking sex for a moment, I had one of my most joyous orgasims outside of marriage the morning after I heard that John (Hanoi) Kerry lost to GW, it just suddenly happened.  I looked like a little kid that morning going around collecting all the neighborhood John Kerry signs. 

      I have been presently surprised with PRAVADA as of late and Canada Free Press, they are reporting the truth about the fraudulent documents being used by Barack Hussein Obama.  They seem to have much more knowledge about the Constitutional issue that requires a Presidential candidate and his running mate to be a “natural born Citizen” than any of our media elites.  Those working at Fox News are clueless as they keep suggesting Mitt Romney choose Senator Marco Rubio as his running mate.  He is NOT a “natural born Citizen.”  Bret Baier attempted to delve into the issue on his blog and was hammered and made to look silly by those who have been studying the court cases involved with that issue.  It wasn’t long ago that a grocery tabloid exposed the John Edwards perversion because the Conservative and Liberal Media refused to deal with it.  I predicted a long time ago that it would be a grocery tabloid that would put the Main Stream Media (Conservative and Liberal) to shame by exposing the fraudulent activity of President Obama.  The Globe has just begun to dig into the Barack Obama forgeries.  I have suggested that Sheriff Joe Arpaio use PRAVADA and Canada Free Press and reach out to the European Press to expose this crap.  It looks as though they are sharing their evidence with the Tabloids.  Don’t ya just love making these idiots in the American media look foolish? 

      July 17th in Phoenix, AZ will be the day Watergate looks like a walk in the park.   

      • EllenHancock

         Since the meaning of Natural Born Citizen comes from the common law and refers to the PLACE of birth, not to the parents of a US-born citizen, Rubio is eligible.

        “Under the longstanding English common-law principle of jus soli,
        persons born within the territory of the sovereign (other than children
        of enemy aliens or foreign diplomats) are citizens from birth. Thus,
        those persons born within the United States are “natural born citizens”
        and eligible to be President. Much less certain, however, is whether
        children born abroad of United States citizens are “natural born
        citizens” eligible to serve as President …”—- Edwin Meese, et al, THE
        HERITAGE GUIDE TO THE CONSTITUTION (2005) [Edwin Meese was Ronald
        Reagan’s attorney general, and the Heritage Foundation is a well-known
        Conservative organization.]

        “Based on the language of Article II, Section 1, Clause 4 and the
        guidance provided by Wong Kim Ark, we conclude that persons born within
        the borders of the United States are “natural born Citizens” for Article
        II, Section 1 purposes, regardless of the citizenship of their parents.
        Just as a person “born within the British dominions [was] a natural
        born-born subject” at the time of the framing of the U.S. Constitution,
        so too were those “born in the allegiance of the United States [ ]
        natural-born citizens.”— Ankeny v. Governor of the State of Indiana, 916
        NE2d 678, 688 (2009), (Ind.Supreme Court, Apr. 5, 2010)

        For more information read:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_born_citizen

      • EllenHancock

         Re:  “July 17th in Phoenix, AZ will be the day Watergate looks like a walk in the park.   ”

        Dream on.

        http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/292780/conspiracy-again-editors

        • EllenHancock

           1) Hawaii is thousands of miles from any foreign country and there is no
          proof that Obama’s mother traveled while pregnant in 1961 (which at the
          time would have been extremely rare, and since it has been proven by
          WND that Obama’s father was in Hawaii on August 4 1961, she would have
          had to have traveled alone, which would have been even more rare for
          such a trip during pregnancy;

          2) There is a birth certificate for Obama
          in Hawaii, which has been confirmed by officials of both parties, the
          Index Data (a public file showing the birth certificates registered by
          year, showing one for Obama under 1961) and by the birth notices in the
          Health Bureau Statistics section of the newspapers.