“The United States of Obama” & “Abortions & Other Abominations”

I know a guy who makes a fortune designing bottles, jars and cans, thus making them more appealing to consumers. But it’s still the contents that matter if the consumer is going to purchase a second bottle, jar or can, of the stuff.

In the same way, there are those who make fortunes designing the packages known as politicians. If you recall, they sold us Obama as if he were a fine old wine in a new transparent bottle, but he turned out to be the same old bootleg gin Chicago has been peddling since the days of Al Capone.

When people, even now, go on TV and defend Obama by trying to spin “If you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan. Period! If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. Period!” into statements full of ellipses and qualifiers, they remind me in an odd way of the devoutly religious. As those folks see it, if something good happens, it’s because of God. But when something terrible – such as the Holocaust or childhood leukemia – occurs, they explain that God moves in mysterious ways, and we mere mortals can’t hope to divine His motives.

Well, okay, He’s God, and if He created the heavens, the stars, the earth and all of its inhabitants, including dogs, elephants and giraffes, it might be expedient to cut Him some slack. But when we’re talking about an arrogant narcissist whose major achievement was being a shill for ACORN, which is a lot like being a union organizer but without the requisite muscle, why would anyone fawn over this lying jackass?

Obama looked into a TV camera at least 40 times and told us lies that he knew to be lies because, as his advisors told him, if he told the truth, not even Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi could have gotten their trained fleas to pass the Affordable Care Act.

One of the more amusing explanations for the disastrous rollout of ObamaCare is that everything would have run smoothly were it not for Republican obstructionism. So, even though the Democrats passed it without even considering any of the 85 amendments offered up by Republican House members, it turns out they’re the problem.

I’m reminded that when O.J. Simpson was on trial for murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, his lawyers dug up a friend of Nicole’s who was willing to testify that the murders might have been committed by a Libyan hit team. I bring that up because until I heard Pelosi, Boxer, Waxman, Carney and Juan Williams, continuing to wax lyrical about Obama Care, I assumed I would never again hear such unmitigated bilge in my lifetime.

One of the more putrid defenses of this whole business is hearing Obama and his puppets dismiss the inevitable cancellation of 15 million policies. Because 15 million sounds like a lot of people, they prefer referring to a mere five percent of the population. But something they and others overlook is that these policies generally cover entire families. Once you factor in spouses and children, you’re no longer talking about 15 million people being affected; you’re talking about 40 or 50 million, a number, by the way, greater than those 30 million uninsured people (mainly healthy youngsters and illegal aliens) who were allegedly the reason for Obama’s having to take control of yet another major industry and one-sixth of the nation’s economy.

Yet another area in which Obama and his supplicants are destroying America is in the schools. In Common Core’s lesson plan for possessive nouns, the tots are taught that “He (the president) makes sure the laws of the country are fair” reads better if changed to “He makes sure the country’s laws are fair.” It may read better, but the president doesn’t make laws, Congress does. And if by “fair,” they mean Constitutional, that’s the job of the Supreme Court. What’s more, if a Republican resided in the White House, I suspect Common Core would have referred to community organizers, not the President.

Lest you think, that was merely an unintentional oversight in the lesson plan, two of Common Core’s other examples are “The commands of government officials must be obeyed” and “The wants of the individual are less important than the well-being of the nation.” And, yet, a great many of you conservative parents don’t even think twice about handing your kids over to people who clearly use old Soviet textbooks as their model.

Finally, I know that some people have taken to ridiculing the voters of Washington State because they recently elected two politicians who had passed away last summer. Even I can see where that might be embarrassing. But inasmuch as Washingtonians make a habit of re-electing the likes of Sen. Patty Murray and Rep. Jim McDermott, I’d have to say this is definitely a step in the right direction.

Abortions & Other Abominations

There are any number of females who can be found on the membership rolls of NOW or in the audience at Sandra Fluke speeches or raising funds for Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, who make my skin crawl. They are the creatures whose major concern isn’t equality in education, equality of opportunity in the work place, or protection of children from sexual predators. Instead, the issue that motivates them to get out of bed in the morning is abortion on demand.

To me, they have less in common with actual women than they do with those zombies who populate horror movies, and spend all their time lurching across the countryside seeking food in the form of human brains.

They are the ogres who insist that an embryo is no more than a part of the body that women should be free to do with as they please. Pushed to the wall, they will liken it to a wart. Women don’t need anyone’s approval to have a wart removed, they say, so why should it be any different when it comes to what they regard as just another bodily blemish?

This is the sort of vile pabulum that’s been spoon-fed to young women for the past forty years by the likes of Gloria Steinem, Nancy Pelosi, Susan Sarandon and Mrs. Clinton. Even if you get past the notion that after all the advances in contraception and all the school hours devoted to sex education, anyone who is still dumb enough to get pregnant by accident should be turned into mulch, the fact remains that an embryo no more resembles a wart than a baby resembles a battleship.

For one thing, nobody ever threw a party to celebrate a wart. Nobody ever painted a room blue or pink because a wart was expected. And nobody ever named a wart after a beloved parent or grandparent.

If anyone deserves to be compared to a wart, it’s the men and women who spew this garbage.

In my heart, I approve of term limits. But in my head, I know that they do not solve the problem that compels people to call for them. Here in California, the only result of term limits is that it forces career politicians to keep swapping jobs. As a result, state assemblymen become state senators, state senators become congressmen or lieutenant governors or mayors, but in the end, it’s the same crew of parasites with their snouts in the public trough.

When it comes to Congress, term limits would make even less difference because the biggest problem isn’t with the politicians, but with the electorate. Does anyone actually believe that if the likes of Maxine Waters, Henry Waxman and Charley Rangel, were forced to retire, they’d be replaced by better people? No chance. The dummies in their districts would simply elect younger versions of the louts they’ve been electing for the past 30 or 40 years.

A reader, George Schiele, sent me an email pointing out that when Ariel Castro was arrested for keeping three women captive for 10 years, the media covered it non-stop for weeks on end. But when the Castro brothers hold millions of people captive for 50 years, the media not only doesn’t mention it, but the members of the Congressional Black Caucus return from a junket singing Cuba’s praises.

A recent study of the industrialized nations found that young American adults score near the bottom when it comes to math, science and literacy. That came as no big surprise to the folks doing the study and even less of a surprise to me. What did throw them, however, was that middle-aged Americans only did slightly better. That’s because they actually regarded them as “the best-educated generation ever.”

To my way of thinking, they aren’t even close. But, cynic that I am, I expect the folks who did the study are themselves middle-aged Americans. Hardly anybody who has gone through the public education system since 1960 is part of a well-educated generation. As proof, you only need to take a look at Obama. He is a prime example of the shoddy product we’ve been turning out – a know-nothing with a colossal amount of ego.

Obama is a product of an education system that was primarily concerned with overinflating children with the gas known as self-esteem. The end result is not brilliance, but narcissism. That is why even when announcing that Osama bin Laden had been killed, he used “I” and “me” so often, you’d have thought he had personally led the Navy Seals out of the helicopters and into the villa.

He even had the chutzpah to base our nation’s foreign policy not on military might, but on his magnetic personality and his personal powers of persuasion.

When King Canute ordered the ocean tide to stop, legend has it that he meant to demonstrate to one and all that he was only a mortal, and not God. When Obama vowed to lower the level of the oceans, his intention was the opposite.

Finally, Obama, who can’t keep his nose out of any controversy, so long as he thinks it will play well with his infantile base, let it be known that he thinks the Washington football franchise should no longer call itself the Redskins because, I suppose, there are three or four Indians who claim to be personally offended.

If I owned the Redskins, I would tell the schmuck in the Oval Office that I’ll change the team’s name when he changes his because I am personally offended that the President of the United States is named Barack Hussein Obama.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Wheels55

    This Obamacare mess showed us that not only does “pie-in-the-sky” legislation not work, not only does government not know how to do anything big without wastefully throwing money at it, it also showed that Congress really does not know what is in legislation that they vote on.

    New rule: Congress can only vote on 3,000 pages of legislation per year, only 750 pages per quarter. Illustrated pictures must be included for their understanding.

  • Gratefulconservative

    Another excellent analogy, Burt! Terse and to the point as well as stated by Clint Eastwood when he said Obama was the biggest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people. OH, how right he was…..and most of Hollywood is the other!!!!!

  • Paul Borden

    The other night on The Five, Bob Beckel was trying to belittle the number of cancellations by referring to the 5 percent figure, as if that were nothing. When Boling said that translate to 15 million people (more as you logically — not a liberal’s strong suit — point out), maybe it was my imagination but Beckel short of got a hang dog expression on his face and shut up.

  • G. Daylan

    When Obama and his sycophants were explaining why the ACA was necessary, they constantly talked about those 30 million uninsured and how the Act would finally give them the secure feeling that comes from finally having health insurance. Juan Williams and Bob Beckel kept the drumbeat going, ranting and raging about how unfeeling Republicans didn’t care about the 30 million. Now, the media has finally admitted that most of the 30 million had no insurance because they didn’t want to have it and the actual reason for the ACA was to force them to pay high prices for coverage (that they didn’t want) in order to finance the law. I sure wish that O’Reilly or Goldberg or Miller would ask them about that point.