The Untouchables

Once I thought of referring to Obama’s appointees as the untouchables, I decided to check out Eliot Ness, who led the small squad of honest cops engaged in waging war on Al Capone. Although I had been a big fan of the original TV series and an even bigger fan of the movie, I really knew very little about Mr. Ness.

It seems Ness and his guys had a lot to do with shutting down Capone’s breweries, but very little with finally bringing “Scarface” down for tax evasion. But nobody ever suggested he was anything but a tough, honest, straight-arrow cop. Unfortunately, unlike the character portrayed by Robert Stack and, later, Kevin Costner, his life didn’t end with Capone’s heading off to federal prison.

In Ness’s post-FBI life, he was married three times, divorced twice, and went from one job to another. He was an electronic parts salesman, a clerk in a book store, sold frozen hamburger patties to restaurants and once even tried to get himself elected mayor of Cleveland, losing to Thomas Burke by a 2-1 margin. But, mainly he spent his time in bars, boozing and telling cock-and-bull stories to his fellow barflies.

So, at the end of the movie, when the young reporter asks Ness what he plans to do once Prohibition ends, and Ness says, “Have a drink,” he wasn’t kidding. Not too surprisingly, he died at the age of 54.

The new untouchables, who are led by Obama, include the likes of Eric Holder, Jay Carney and Kathleen Sebelius. Unlike Ness’s guys, these folks are untouchable because of executive privilege. Only Obama can rid us of them, but he appreciates their boundless devotion to him. If the nation doesn’t share his opinion, that’s just tough. They had their chance last November, and they blew it.

Eric Holder came into office announcing that whites are afraid to speak honestly about race, portraying white people as bigots when it is he who has displayed his blatant racism by refusing to indict the Black Panthers for voter intimidation and by informing his agents that during his tenure the Department of Justice will only prosecute whites for hate crimes.

Jay Carney, I keep being told, is merely doing what a press secretary is expected to do; namely, put a good face on everything Obama does and says. In other words, the job description is to lie on a daily basis. Some press secretaries do it better (Tony Snow), while some, like Carney and Robert Gibbs, do it worse.

The problem, as I see it, is that the job should not exist in the first place. No president should have at his disposal a person who functions the same way as a criminal defense attorney. I say the president, no matter what his party affiliation may be, should take 30 minutes out of his day to face the White House press corps and answer questions. If he has time to play basketball and golf, hold galas for show biz celebrities, congratulate gay athletes for outing themselves and fly off every other day for a fund raiser, he has the time to answer questions, thus freeing Jay Carney to find honest work while he still has some slight chance of saving his soul.

Speaking of Carney and all those other people whose job is to lie on behalf of Obama, the State Department, the IRS and the CIA, it’s time we all quit pussyfooting around and stop calling them spokesmen. Lying is what they do, liars is what they are.

While we’re at it, let’s call able-bodied people collecting disability checks and well-to-do seniors collecting food stamps, welfare cheats.

Furthermore, let us be honest enough to call a freak a freak. After all, unless you believe that prisoners are entitled to have gender-altering surgery on the taxpayer’s dime or that employers shouldn’t be allowed to deny employment to transvestites or to those who choose to adorn themselves with metal hoops, studs and spikes in their noses, cheeks and tongues, they’ll label you a bigot or worse.

As for Kathleen Sebelius, who, when last heard from, was denying a 10-year-old dying child the right to be on a list for those requiring a donated organ, she is tailor-made for this administration. Who better to be the Secretary of Health and Human Resources than a woman who looks like the twin sister of Snow White’s stepmother? When she’s not denying a little girl the right to receive a lung that might save her life, Sebelius no doubt spends her spare time cackling madly and poisoning apples.

What this country needs is a sober Eliot Ness, eager to clean up the corruption in Washington. What it has, unfortunately, is Barack Obama, a Marxist airhead who is so infatuated with himself that in high school, I’m willing to bet, he invited himself to the prom.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Wheels55

    I’m not sure why the press secretary jobs exists either – particularly when a two paragraph memo can be handed out to journalists. This way journalists can avoid hearing over and over again “I don’t know that, but what I can tell you is…”.

  • cmacrider

    Burt: Trey Gowdy Rep S.C. seems pretty close to the Elliot Ness who pursued truth and justice without fear or favour … it seems to me.

    • legal eagle

      Trey Gowdy pursues the truth? He’s a politician who is non existent except when he has a scandal as an excuse to appear on Fox….Tell me what he’s done for his constituents? An S.C. congressman in a Republican district is sure taking a lot of risk going on Fox with little if any factual evidence…

  • legal eagle

    Prelutsky, once again, shows his delusional hate for everything Obama. I believe Burt, at one point in his career, tried to write for All in the Family but Norman Lear laughed at him…

    • cmacrider

      As expected you avoid attempting to rebut or ignore the central point of Burt’s post, but your feeble ad hominem attacks do accentuate the cogency of his observations on “the amateur.”

      • legal eagle

        I can’t rebut a central point that doesn’t exist…In between insulting various Democrats I have no idea what he is asking for? Politicians who always tell the truth? Governments without secrets? Press secretary’s who are brutally honest?
        In my opinion Prelutsky writes his blog to channel his inner Archie Bunker prejudices and bitterness…nothing more..

        • cmacrider

          He’s probably asking for a minimum degree of competence and a government which isn’t continuously lying to the general public as would be expected only in some banana republic. But, of course, I can understand for the extreme left anyone who points out the blatent deficiencies of this administration has strayed off the plantation.

          • legal eagle

            U.S. governments have been “lying” to the general public since 1776…so what? That why the press exists to uncover the cover ups.
            Turning complicated issues into simplistic black and white arguments is what politicians and the media do?
            Prelutsky wants the absolute truth or he considers it a lie?
            I got over that one at age 3…

          • cmacrider

            and haven’t developed intellectually since that time

          • legal eagle

            Stay bitter ….Love your clichés….Good thing you live in a bubble where you can dream about the good old days.
            Let me know when you are ready to discuss real solutions to problems not b.s.

          • cmacrider

            As soon as you are able to venture out of the world of preferred perceptions into the world of critical analysis let me know.

          • legal eagle

            I do it daily for a living…I deal in realities of the legal system not it’s theory…I do not have the luxury of living in a black and white world of truths v. lies…If one perceives he’s being lied to one finds proof to refute the statement not rail against the system…Trey Gowdy is a Congressman not a prosecutor…Congressman lie for a living…

          • cmacrider

            Having spent 35 years as a Barrister & Solicitor myself, all I can say is your inability to argue your case with any degree of acumen must leave your clients in considerable angst.

          • legal eagle

            My clients love me enough to have financed my family for the past 30 years…I’m not sure about my acumen but I am sure about my results….LOL

          • cmacrider

            Before I retired my client’s didn’t “finance my family” they paid my professional fees for results …. but then I had an extremely busy practice and certainly didn’t have the time or inclination to be posting endlessly on a blog.

          • legal eagle

            As I have gotten older I am more selective on what cases I take on so I do have time to do many things including posting on a blog….keeps me out of trouble….LOL

          • legal eagle

            For me, it is less aggravating to post on a blog than to play golf or argue with young lawyers….LOL