The Zombies Are Coming!

Burt hopes you’ll enjoy this bonus article.

Let’s face it, there is definitely something very spooky about liberals. They’re a lot like those creatures in horror movies, the undead, who are always lurking around looking to turn normal people into vampires or zombies. They’re often looking for human brains, which, God knows they could certainly use, but it’s not for themselves, but to install in the heads of monsters they’ve cobbled together in their basements.

In the movies at least, people can generally avoid running into them so long as they stay out of haunted houses, cemeteries and dark cellars. In real life, it’s much more difficult because they’re everywhere. Turn on your TV and there’s Steny Hoyer, Joe Biden or Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, saying something so stupid, it’s frightening. And if you happened to find yourself in a cemetery at night and bumped into Harry Reid, wouldn’t you assume that he was there to oversee your burial?

Scariest of all is Barack Obama because he’s the one with the power to create the most mischief. But what I don’t get is why people are making such a big thing of a 1998 video in which he announced that he was in favor of the redistribution of wealth. Why go back 14 years? He said the same thing during the current century, in 2008 to be exact, to Joe the Plumber. He also famously said at about the same time that the major failing of the Constitution and the Civil Rights Movement is that neither dealt with the redistribution of wealth.

This is the same palooka who said that his energy policy would send prices soaring, and whose energy czar said he wished gas prices would go to $10-a-gallon in order to hasten the day when green energy would be our only option.

It just seems to me that going back 14 years in order to nail this putz with his own words is sort of like the other side trying to portray Romney as Al Capone because he bullied some kid in high school. I mean, Obama has not only done his level best to destroy the coal and oil industries in America, thus helping to double gas prices at the pump over the past four years, but his economic policies have drained thousands of dollars from the net worth of the average American, kept the unemployment rate at record highs, and, for good measure, is one of the few people who has ever voted in favor of partial-birth abortions. Talk about your ghouls. This schmuck even gives the Mummy the willies.

Even in the area of foreign policy, Obama can’t help showing off his incompetence. First, he kicked things off by going to Cairo in 2009, apologizing for American exceptionalism, and kissing the behinds of the assembled Arabs and Muslims. Then, when in spite of four years of bowing and scraping, those same people showed their contempt for him by storming our embassy in Libya and murdering four Americans, including our ambassador, he denied it was an act of terrorism. He even made his ambassador to the U.N., Susan Rice, go on every TV show except Dancing With the Stars, to announce that it was a spontaneous uprising brought about by a video that was seen by fewer people than Catwoman.

Let’s face it, there is definitely something very spooky about liberals. They’re a lot like those creatures in horror movies, the undead, who are always lurking around looking to turn normal people into vampires or zombies. They’re often looking for human brains, which, God knows they could certainly use, but it’s not for themselves, but to install in the heads of monsters they’ve cobbled together in their basements.

For eight days, poor Jay Carney had to tell the White House press corps that there was no possible way to tell that the attack had been planned and carried out by Muslim terrorists. And then, on the ninth day, voila, there was the Press Secretary not only admitting that it was a terrorist attack, but that it was, of all things, “self-evident”!

Even I sympathized with the boyish-looking Carney. He was probably hired in the first place when Robert Gibbs stepped down because, unlike Gibbs, he looked like he could be trusted near a playground filled with kids. However, he has lost his innocence over the past couple of years. Dealing with the Libyan kerfuffle, he had to spin so hard and so fast for Obama that he finally screwed himself into the floor until all that could be seen of him was the top of his head and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.

While Obama continues to take bows for giving the order to kill Osama bin Laden, someone should constantly remind him that anyone, including Romney, I and my aunt Sophie, would have given the same order. What none of us would have done, however, was to display such weakness and to send such mixed messages to our enemies in North Africa and the Middle East that a bunch of third world thugs would have reason to believe they could burn down our embassy and slaughter Americans with impunity.

For all his various failings, when Islamic terrorists attacked America on 9/11/01, George Bush went to war. When Islamic terrorists attacked America on 9/11/12, Barack Obama said they weren’t really attacking us and they weren’t even terrorists; they were actually just a bunch of film critics who disliked a certain movie and, instead of giving it a really bad review, decided to go on a killing spree.

I guess we can only hope that these folks never get wind of Mommie Dearest, Heaven’s Gate or Freddy Got Fingered, or it could be the end of life on earth as we’ve known it.

Burt hopes you’ve enjoyed this bonus article..

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Phil Silverman

    As in..DITTOHEADS….O’REILLY’S ‘FOLKS’…THOSE WHO ARE UNDERGO ‘HANNITIZATION’ ??  At least with Doctor Savage, we get a true Free Thinking Independent/Conservative who does not repeat himself and encourages Free Thinking amongst his ‘SAVAGE NATION’

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/PPL2AXPXJMWPEJWFN34MPC5RNY terry

    THE ZOMBIES ARE IN THE WH,  EYE CANDY,  # 2 CHOCOLATE BROWN !

    • Phil Silverman

      Seems racially charged. WEBMASTER please Flag this.

  • wally

    Great article. Obama certainly has a failed foreign policy. Some may argue that Bush made mistakes when it came to war with Iraq. All presidents make mistakes. At least Bush tried and at least had a plan for the reconstruction of Iraq after the war was ended. His attempt to foster and lead the country towards some type of democracy was noble. Obama on the other hand, took out the Lybian dictator but had nothing in terms of steering the country in the right direction. Plus Obama’s great training and achievements in the past have been in community organizing. One would think that he would have used that skill in organizing the Lybians toward a democracy by sending his Acorn buddies over there. But then again, maybe his intent was to create a different kind of country for Lybia. One that has no leadership and one, when left to  fend for itself would gravitate to a Muslim Brotherhood government. 

    • Mariop

      Actually, to be more accurate, 60% of Americans would argue the war in Iraq was a mistake. So please don’t downplay that blunder by saying “some” think the war was a mistake. 

      Sure, all presidents make mistakes, but I would like to hear which president made a mistake where thousands of US lives were sacrificed for no valid reason. If you will excuse Bush’s Iraq mistake as just any other mistake, then you for sure should not be complaining about any Obama would make. Oh wait, you are complaining about Obama’s actions in the Mideast, as if they were mistakes bigger than Bush’s. Look at you, you stubborn Republican. Admit your vote caused the unnecessary death of 4500 Americans and the destruction of our economy. Yes, I blame the Republican voter for the two biggest mistakes of our generations, mistakes you are not only willing to overlook, but blame someone else for them as well. How completely shameless.

    • Phil Silverman

      Really? Guess you are offended that Obama got us out of the War For Halliburton? That we got BL after W. gave up in ’06? That we got qaddafi without one drop of American blood spilled? That we are using drones in A. in an exit strategy? Ok…then vote for Romney! He’ll get us back in Iraq AND started two NEW wars, in Syria and Iran!  hehehe

  • Alden514

    Burt…THIS was a masterpiece!  Thanks for sharing!

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Alden: Very nice, but I think you’d have to admit that your compliment is rather tepid when compared to Deny’s “Just pure and total Genius!!!!”  I like those extra exclamation points.

      Burt

      • Alden514

        Burt, what I MEANT to say was AWESOME!!!!  STUPENDOUS!!! MASTERFUL!!!!  PULITZER PRIZE WINNING MATERIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        :)

    • Phil Silverman

      You referring to “Moody’s Mood For Love”?

  • Deny916

    OMG Burt!!!!  This is the best article you have written so far!  An absolute masterpiece and a total joy to read.  There is nothing there that I didn’t agree with!   From Carney screwing himself into the floor to liberals looking for brains (which they truly need a lot of)!  Just pure and total GENIUS!!!! 

    • Phil Silverman

      How about a few thoughts on the repetition machine at Fox?

  • venter

    You covered it all .  I can’t believe that anyone could even think they would vote for Obama  again.  These past two weeks have been an eye opener.  Who could believe the video started the riots and the cover up. Americans need to know what happened and how we should protect ourselves from the next attack.  Perhaps what is going on in the middle east is a      practice run.  I am not an expert like the people in Washington, however, something doesn’t add up.  When Obama’s spokes people explain that he doesn’t need to meet with the  leaders of the world ,  he communicates with them by phone.  
    Gee,  that makes us feel safe????????????.Does he tell them what he told the Russian president  “he will have more options after he is elected.  BOY do I feel safe!   After Pearl Harbor  and 9/11  ‘one’  did the presidents get on the radio and T.V. to comfort and inform Americans.   I think so??
    I guess after the election, when he wins, he will fix everything like the economy, unemployment.  the debt , security and what happened on 9/11  “two”.  Or he can blame Romney for loosing!

    • BurtPrelutsky

      venter:  But wouldn’t it be a relief after hearing him blame Bush for the past four years?

      You have to pity him, though, when you consider the economy Obama would be inheriting this time around.

      Burt

      • Phil Silverman

        Well he’s the most blamed President in history…down to his toenails. And why should he passively say that the inherited 11+trillion in debt , unfunded wars, unfunded pharma., unfunded/extended tax relief program for trillionaires & the most Obnstructionist House in History do not factor in to the current crisis?

  • brendan horn

    Burt, excellent point about Bin Laden. It took no genius to order that attack. Most children could have done so. It was nauseating for me to hear how courageous Obama was for ordering that attack – and continues to be nauseating for me when I hear people imply that it was mostly the doing of Obama. The real people who should get credit are almost completely ignored. The soldiers who risked their lives should get no less than 99.9% of the credit. Obama risked the lives of those soldiers and somehow the liberal media want to paint Obama as the courageous one. Sickening. 

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Brendan:  It’s not just the media.  Even someone as objective and impartial as Joe Biden said that what Obama did was the most courageous act in the history of the world.

      Burt

  • Bruce A.

    Burt, you just insulted numerous Zombies by equating them with Liberals.

    • Deny916

      So true on that one Bruce!  Poor zombies :)

    • Phil Silverman

      Once in a while they could be equated with Hard Right Religious Zealots who say Obama is the “anti-Christ”.

  • GlenFS

    By Obama’s reasoning that the violence is reaction to our behavior, he would be the most responsible of all for his behavior after killing OBL.  First he said that there would be no spiking the ball and then has not stopped spiking it from every pose possible on nearly every day since!

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Glen: Unfortunately, the MSM goofballs are worse than the NFL’s substitute refs, so when Obama fumbles the ball or clips his opponent, whistles are never blown and flags are never tossed.

      Burt

      • Phil Silverman

        MSM – I thought that ended about 10 yrs. ago when the internet came thru…is youtube pro-Left? I guess there’s no counterpoint with Newscorp, the NRA lobby and media wing, Limbaugh, Drudge, Beck, Ingraham (she *is* sexy), Coulter, Gaffney, Jerome Corsi, Alex Jones, hannity, The American Rifleman, national review, the wall street journal, th washington times, the Orange County Register (CA)….. 

  • NS Sherlock

    Just wait until the movie comes out about bin Laden. You know, the one where obummah leaked classified info to Hollyweird. But, alas, that will be different…

    • Phil Silverman

      “obummah”! hehehe >>>> but he made fer it by capturing all the Bin Laden files.

  • Wheels55

    It seems like Obama’s Jedi mind tricks are not working.
    Side note: I think Hillary is Jabba the Hutt and Jay Carney is that little weasely creature next to Jabba.

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Wheels: I can’t really comment.  I snoozed through the original “Star Wars” and then wisely avoided the sequels.

      Burt

      • Deny916

        I actually watch Star Wars with French  dialogue…didn’t understand a word of it but I think it was better that way! 

    • Phil SilvermanBeauzee

      I love Foxnews’ single word and phrase repetitions…”lie” “fail”  “appease” “Socialist” “nanny state”  … fair and balanced

      • Wheels55

        lie” “fail”  “appease” “Socialist” “nanny state” … that pretty much describes Obama. Thanks for the summary.