Was This Rubio’s Fatal Sip?

marco-rubio-drinking-waterDid Florida Senator Marco Rubio, a likely Republican contender for president in 2016, destroy his political career by taking a sip of water on national television? CNN and some of the other slavishly Democratic-liberal news outlets seem to think so – or at least hope so.

Rubio was giving a speech rebutting President Obama’s State of the Union message the other night, and as public speakers often do, he decided to wet his whistle. His fatal error, it appears, was to have placed his water bottle out of reach, rather than in front of him, as is customary. So he had to cross the screen to reach his bottle and take a swig.

I’m not exactly sure why, but the news commentators are calling this a “bungle.” Will potential voters in the next presidential election ever be able to take Rubio seriously, now that he has revealed that he gets thirsty and drinks water?  Worst of all, did he demonstrate an inability to plan ahead?

Obviously he did, so how can we even consider him for President?

If the time comes when Rubio, sitting in the situation room, has to launch a nuclear attack against one of our enemies – say, Israel – will he forget to bring the  military aide with the codes into the room with him?

This reminds me of how the media managed to turn the fact that the Mormon Mitt Romney was a teetotaler into a black mark against him. Who would want a president who wasn’t manly enough to throw back a drink or two with his buddies? To be certain that all bases were covered, it also was suggested that Romney’s claims of being a non-drinker may have been bogus. We all know Mormons who don’t take their church’s anti-drinking mandate seriously, so why should we believe Romney’s declarations of purity?

Clearly, Rubio has a few things to learn before he can be considered for the Top Spot. First of all, no more water. Gordon’s gin, perhaps, to win over East Coast limousine liberals, or some moonshine to solidify his party’s grip on voters  in the Ozark states.

There are nearly four years left before the next presidential election, so I am hoping that Rubio will learn what it takes to be President of the United States in the modern era. What we used to think of as the mainstream in this country is the mainstream no longer. If Rubio wants to bond with the American majority, here are some things he will have to do.

1.)Cheat on his wife with a man, then marry him.

2.)Hire an underage female intern to help out in his senatorial office, and engage in oral sex with her.

3.)Dispense with the water bottle when he is on the podium and replace it with a mirror covered with half a dozen lines of cocaine. Learn the street meaning of “smoke” and “blow,” both essential to any President’s vocabulary.

4.)Instead of hugging and patting on the back the politicians who introduce him to campaign crowds, take them in a firm embrace and give them a deep French kiss. This works best with men.

5.)Renounce his U.S. citizenship, establish residency in Mexico, then illegally cross the border into the United States and refuse to speak English. If anyone asks, say he was born in Hawaii.

6.)Cut a rap record, calling for the murder of police officers. Suggested title: “The Ballad of Christopher Dorner.”

7.)Make a well-publicized campaign visit to a Planned Parenthood clinic, and help the medical team carry out an abortion while the flashbulbs, among other things, pop.

8.)Declare that religion is a crock, that there is no God, and then show how he can prove it.

He may find it difficult to stomach some of these tactics, but they are his best chance of establishing an image that today’s American majority considers beyond reproach.

Author Bio:

Arthur Louis spent more than forty years as a print journalist, with the Philadelphia Inquirer, McGraw-Hill, Fortune magazine and the San Francisco Chronicle, but he is not asking for sympathy. He is the author of two non-fiction books: The Tycoons, and Journalism and Other Atrocities, as well as a novel, The Little Champ. In retirement, he has decided unilaterally that he is a profound political pundit.
Author website: http://bernardgoldberg.com
  • Kansan

    Rubio’s fatal slip was getting involved in the corruption that was behind Florida’s Blackwater Prison scandal. The wheels of justice grind slowly, but here’s hoping he gets indicted.

    • artlouis

      Perhaps it will happen on the same day that Obama is impeached for Benghazi-gate.

      • Kansan

        If you think there was anything criminal about Behghazi, you may need medication.

        Reagan lost 67 at the Beirut embassy (mostly CIA) and 241 Marines at the Beirut Airport barracks, six months or so later.

        Did he get impeached? No he wagged the dog and invaded Grenada.

        Bush/Cheney were asleep at the wheel, ignoring the warnings from the CIA and FBI (the Minneapolis and Phoenix offices reported Arabs paying cash for commercial flying lessons, but who didn’t want to learn how to land or take off), and from perhaps ten other countries, about al Qaida and an imminent attack. They included Israel, Egypt, Great Britain, France, Germany, Italy, Spain and perhaps Italy and Saudi Arabia. They knew the hijackers were in the U.S. illegally in San Diego and did nothing about it. 3,000 people, mostly Americans, died in the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania.

        Did they get impeached? No, they wagged the dog and illegally invaded Iraq, losing 5,000 more Americans.

        Any more questions?

        • artlouis

          Yes. Who are these people you are raving about? I seem to dimly remember some of those names. Former presidents, perhaps? Better button up, or I will start complaining about Woodrow Wilson’s mishandling of the peace negotiations. Just so you know, the President’s name is Obama. That, alas, is what we are dealing with right now.

          • Kansan

            Screw Wilson. He put another presidential candidate, one who got almost a million votes for president in 1912, in jail for opposing the draft. That candidate beat TR in a few states and the incumbent, Taft, in more.

            If you have problems with the Treaty of Versailles, then you most likely share such sentiments with Schickelgruber.

          • artlouis

            Oooh, dirty fighter! Nyah, nyah. I’ll have to adjust my thinking. I have been told by most of the media that all Dems are heroes.

  • wally12

    Yes that would get him elected but not as a republican. He will have to switch parties. You know that may not be such a bad idea. Claim all the platforms of a democrat, get elected and than turn to your normal mode and pass only republican supported bills. He could be called a DINO.

    • artlouis

      wally, It’s a plan!

  • Sue

    Arthur, all I can think of over this latest “Watergate” is to paraphrase a great line from “A Man for All Seasons,” when Thomas More said to Richard as he bore false witness against him, “…. but to sell your soul for WALES!!!!!!!!!” All that for “a glass of water.” Is that ALL the far left liberals could come up with after such a brilliant speech by Marco Rubio. The real “State of the Union Address” in my opinion. After all, the MSM gave Senator Obama a pass during the first campaign when he got confused about how many states are in the Union, of not knowing the number of years he was married, of not knowing where he was speaking, or not eveb knowing the day of his own birthday…. Taking a drink of water must be a really bad thing to do in a town with a swamp.

    • artlouis

      Sue, I love the way you put that.

  • Jeff

    Marco Rubio does not and never has been a spokesman for Hispanic immigrants. He is part of and totally vested in a group we call in Florida the “Cuban Exile Community”. Leaving out the criminals that came here during the Mariel boat lift, his Cuban community is mostly dead. The grandchildren of these people are modern, normal every day teenagers who speak sound and study just like you, Bernie. I mean if you walk down caio ocho during the festival, you can still watch a good game of dominoes, but they have nothing to do with the rest of the eleven million immigrants trying to work their way to citizenship.

    • artlouis

      Jeff, Bernie didn’t write this piece. I suggest you take a course in Byline Reading 101.

      • Jeff

        Art, I never said he wrote it……just thought he might read it. Did you?

        • artlouis

          I did read it. I will accept your statement that the 11 million illegals haven’t elected Rubio as their spokesman, but then, whom have they elected? They would be lucky to have him stating their case, but the Dems seem intent on clouding the issue. I expect to see an expose in the Huff. Post, tracing Rubio’s ancestry back to William the Conqueror. That will be a great contribution to the debate.

          • Jeff

            I’m not in favor of the Huff Post pulling a Breitbart on Rubio. I just don’t think he represents our country’s Hispanic community. On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind hearing that Ted Cruz, while walking to his car on his way to work…..”pulled a Breitbart”. OK….didn’t really mean that. Thinking like that would make me as evil as Andrew was. As we used to say in the 1960′s schoolyards of Brookyn………………..”I take it back”.

  • Toa

    It makes me laugh to imagine what our “Liberal” betters in the Media would say if Marco Rubio was a Leftist “wise Latino” and took a swig from a water bottle during a TV interview…”A down-home man of the people!!” “A real man whom Americans can relate to!!!!” “A regular guy who is, at the same time, highly cerebral!!”
    It is pretty obvious that they fear him.

    • artlouis

      Tea, You are so right. They are going to spend the next few years trying to destroy him. I don’t think he will be an easy mark, however, and the Libs could lose the Latino vote if they don’t tread carefully.

  • brad ghorn

    I think the reason liberal media people are so interested in how Rubio drinks his water is because they are not intelligent enough to critique Rubio’s words. They are of low intelligence so they talk about something they understand: water drinking.

    • artlouis

      Yes, Brad, that sort of thing is going on everywhere in our society. Look at all the attention paid to second-rate show-biz celebrities.

      • Jeff

        Have a good look at what today makes up the Republican party. Just look at the red/blue final election map. Republicans won the deep south (those who are still fighting the civil war in their heads), “broke-back mountain…. (the Dakotas, Wyoming and Montana)….states where nobody lives. It’s difficult to face, but I believe you believe that after 2014 when the house comes back where it belongs, we will be set with Obama’s election machinery to bring Hillary in with about a 60/40 majority. The second Rubio voted against the violence against women act he set the Republican party up for a huge defeat in 2016. WOMEN! Even your biggest voice….Ted Cruz….Princeton, Harvard and one of the best debaters in the country has shown you can educate the trash from Texas but that’s all you get……educated trash. Hang on guys, it’s gonna be a heck of a ride.

        • artlouis

          Better pace yourself, Jeff. It is still 45 months till election day. At the rate you are going, you will give yourself an apoplectic fit. As for Hillary, most Dems will do anything to keep her from returning to the White House. Look who they picked instead in 2008.

          • Jeff

            I’ll be the first to admit that it was the media that gave Barack the edge. But…..there are about 70 million Women just waiting for Hillary to emerge. Pro choice, Anti choice, even the women on that Republican electoral map who’ve never seen a dentist. They’re all waiting. What I’m loving here is I haven’t seen one disagreement with my thoughts on Ted Cruz.

          • artlouis

            If women voted as a solid bloc, then Romney would have gotten about 50 percent fewer votes. The women I know are better than men at spotting a phony, which is all that Hillary is. As for the remark about dentists, I never wanted to believe in liberal elitism, but this seems to be it. By the way, what is the cavity rate in the Democratic wards of the big cities?

          • Jeff

            Thanks, you got me. I needed a good laugh. I’m sitting here typing to you .. three feet away from Rand Paul talking to Chris Wallace about debt and deficit. Basically he just said that immigration reform is just fine with his Tea Party as long as Barack doesn’t have his name on it. After six years in the military and thirty two years working in health care, I was always worried about being bored when I retired. Becoming a political junkie has surely taken that worry away.

  • JohnInMA

    At some point all but the most ardent progressives who oppose anyone not far left see how silly this personal attack is. And most likely that will desensitize thinking people somewhat to similar, inane efforts in the future.

    I do expect more of the style of attacks waged against Romney, however. The attacks on his religion – for example the angle on abstinence or breaking with the rule – were intended more for the evangelical right than for the far left or moderates. No doubt the smear machine will look for similar Achilles heels with Rubio. Immigration? Maybe.

    • artlouis

      John, they might use his religion against him in the South, but I have faith that the Southerners will recognize that this is a fantastic candidate.

      • JohnInMA

        You’d be surprised how Catholic the South has become in the last generation. With the exception of Louisiana, which has an obvious Catholic history, the only significant U.S. expansion in 50 years of the Church (addition of parishes, dioceses, etc.) has been in the South, including GA, FL, and the Carolinas (the most populous areas). If targeting Mormonism didn’t really dissuade evangelicals in the South, I seriously doubt targeting Catholicism will get any traction either. After all, it’s much more likely a neighbor in that region is Catholic rather than Mormon. It’s not that foreign any more. The voters who wouldn’t accept a Catholic don’t need to see a single ad to be convinced to avoid voting for that reason. And they are few, I think.

  • cmacrider

    Art: You might want to add that Rubio’s got to stop attempting to find rational solutions to the immigration problem and the entitlement problems. Any semblance of common sense is to be avoided at all costs.

    • artlouis

      Yes, cmac, hysterical falsification is the default approach to all issues.