Why My Head Is Spinning

I understand why liberals want to get elected to political office. After all, not everyone can be a millionaire, but at least if you’re elected to Congress, you get to live like one. You get to receive all sorts of perks, including a bevy of aides and interns whom you don’t have to pay out of your own pocket, but who are nevertheless ready at a moment’s notice to gas up your car, drive you to the airport and pick up your dry cleaning.

The part I don’t get is why anyone would want to vote for them. For one thing, they all lie. And not only do they lie, but they lie so badly that they simultaneously insult our intelligence. The most blatant example took place recently when Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, who is not only a member of Congress, but the head of the Democratic National Committee, said that she had no idea if the folks who produced the disgusting ad accusing Mitt Romney of playing a role in killing a cancer victim were Democrats or Republicans.

But for the past several months, the Democratic mantra has been that Paul Ryan’s financial blueprint would toss the elderly off the Medicare rolls even though Ryan’s budget proposal guarantees that nothing will change for anyone over the age of 55, whereas it’s the liberals who want to suck $716 billion out of Medicare in order to finance ObamaCare.

I would like to see an ad that starts out looking like the one in which a Paul Ryan lookalike is pushing an old woman off a cliff. But as the camera pulls back, we see that it really is Paul Ryan and that the woman in the chair is his mother, who actually is a Social Security recipient living in Florida. At the end of the ad, she pats his hand and says, “You’re a good son, Paul.”

Of course I have no way of knowing if his mother actually requires a wheelchair, but, then, Obama and his stooges know that the last thing Paul Ryan wants to do is to send nice old ladies hurtling to their death.

Speaking of the liberal’s notion of a messiah, Obama never stops taking bows for keeping America’s automotive industry in business. What he fails to mention is that by turning GM over to the UAW, he not only screwed the shareholders, he put 2,200 car dealerships out of business. Thanks to Obama’s stimulus, GM is still hanging around, but the American taxpayer is out over $21 billion.

When it comes to picking winners and losers, be it in the auto industry or the world of green energy, a bunch of chimpanzees would do a better job than this administration. At least the chimps, unlike Obama, wouldn’t be swayed by how many bananas the company owners had contributed to their political campaigns.

Then there is the matter of Obama’s attack on wealthy Americans, the so-called one-percenters he never stops haranguing. It’s funny how that works, inasmuch as at least half of the wealthiest Americans are Democrats. Or did you really think that Bill Gates, John Kerry, Oprah Winfrey, Ted Turner and George Soros, only pretend to be liberals so they can hang out with Sean Penn and Jane Fonda? And who, by the way, did you think was showing up at these $35,000-a-plate fund-raising affairs for Obama? Me?

If the media was even slightly fair and objective, they would insist that Obama refer to the half-of-one-percenters, the Republicans, whom he would actually like to see hanging from lampposts.

Unfortunately, the media is not part of the solution; instead, it’s a major part of America’s problem. For unfathomable reasons, they are only too happy to swallow Obama’s crapola and insist that it tastes just like chicken.

As anyone who has seen “2016” knows, Obama’s half-brother, George, lives in a tiny shack in Kenya. To his credit, George, an independent sort of fellow, doesn’t think Barack owes him a thing. However, Obama also has an elderly aunt in the old country who is barely scraping by. So when Saint Barack claims to be his brother’s keeper, he doesn’t mean to be taken literally.

Recently, my friend Bernard Goldberg wrote a piece that was entirely devoted to stupid things that Joe Biden has said over the past four years, starting with his introducing his running mate in 2008 as “Barack America” and his famously stating that the solution to our nation’s economic woes could be summed up in a single three-letter word, “J-o-b-s.” He went on to include Biden’s recently whipping up the voters at a campaign stop by announcing “With your support, we can win North Carolina, and with North Carolina, we can win the election!” The only problem was that he was in Virginia at the time.

As a writer who tries to inject humor in his own work, I sent Mr. Goldberg an email complaining that he was cheating. I said that anyone can be funny so long as he has Joe Biden writing all his material.

When later that same day, Goldberg updated the piece because Biden had just said something really dumb on the campaign trail, it occurred to me that Goldberg could just coast until Election Day. He didn’t have to sit down and write anything new for his blog; he merely had to add new Bidenisms to the original column, thereby putting the rest of us would-be conservative humorists out of business.

Needless to say, I wish I had thought of it first.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • MarioP

    I truly love visiting these exploiting and unethical websites where the mentally challenged conservatives congregate. Outrageous theories fly in from every direction, and one dunce is agreeing with every other mongoloid. Take this ridiculous statement from the latest blog posted by our genius Burt:  
    “Obama never stops taking bows for keeping America’s automotive industry in business. What he fails to mention is that by turning GM over to the UAW, he not only screwed the shareholders, he put 2,200 car dealerships out of business.”
    The truth about the GM bailout can easily be obtained by anyone from numerous sources on the internet, yet somehow Burt, among other regular jokesters on here, has managed to dodge these public sources. Instead he fabricated his own fanatical conclusion that helps him sleep at night. I’m completely perplexed how Burt concluded Obama screwed the GM shareholders and the 2,200 dealers, and I would love to hear the details and outline of his absurd theory. 

    To do my public duty for the mentally handicapped, I’ll now gladly list the true facts of GM’s bailout. For years GM has been losing money, and by the time the financial collapse rolled into town in fall of 2008, the carmaker was in desperate need for cash to remain solvent and out of bankruptcy. As everyone knows, when a company declares BK, the company stock becomes worthless. (I know this BK-stock info is common knowledge, but I don’t want to leave anything out for the sake of the mentally challenged readers on here.) As the cargiant was taking in his last independent breaths in the spring of 2009, the not so distant end was unavoidable if no one stepped in to help. Although knowing the end was near, the conservatives were still not wanting to bail the giant out and instead wished for the company to declare bankruptcy. The Republicans turned on GM because, according to their own words, the GM products were not good enough to compete in the car business and poor businesses should be terminated. WHAT?! Say it ain’t so! Burt, is this true? Burt?! Yep. That is correct, the Right WANTED for GM to go under and make the GM stock worthless! I will repeat myself here. THE RIGHT WANTED GM, AND ITS STOCK, TO BECOME WORTHLESS. So how is it Obama’s fault that the GM shareholders got screwed?! Burt, wanna step in here, please? 
    Obama was willing to bail the carmaker out, but only if the company presented a solid restructuring plan for a profitable future. The best chance of turning an indebted, money-losing company into a profitable one is to restructure it under Chapter 11. The restructuring called for the termination, or sale, of several car divisions (Pontiac, Saab, Saturn, and Hummer), and all the dealerships solely servicing those purged brands were shut down. Additional underperforming GM dealerships were also shut down as part of the restructuring. And what did the bailout and restructuring accomplish? Since GM went public for the second time two years ago, the company has turned profit EVERY quarter.

    So regardless what path GM decided to take, either BK on its own and as per Republicans’ wishes, or BK with a bailout, BK was in the company’s future. The Right wanted GM to go into BK, and the Left was willing to bail GM only if it went through BK. Both parties’ strategies included BK for GM and worthless stock for the shareholders, yet Old Fart Burt is blaming the loss of his $1 GM stock on Obama. You’re truly losing it Burt, and so are many others on here.

    Funny thing is, Burt isn’t the only character on here with this loony theory about GM’s bailout. There seems to be an entire herd of these “creative” thinkers out there, believing in exactly the same nutty theories. They get their information from outlandish sources like Rush, Hannity, and Beck, all uneducated and very sketchy characters who spin, twist and lie while praying on the easily influenced and easily riled up citizens. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/dusty.thompson.169 Dusty Thompson

      Liberalism is a DANGEROUS Mental Disorder (evident by Libya deaths), thanks for pointing out the obvious for the World to see.  Mario…

      • Mariop

        First, thank you for not addressing my above GM post, since obviously there is nothing to address. On the contrary, there was plenty to be addressed in the original GM statement Burt posted in his blog.

        But I’m not following your comment about liberalism being a mental disorder as evident by the Libyan deaths. Are you saying the conservatives can’t run a better economy than some mentally challenged liberals? Are you saying the conservatives can’t create jobs as well as the liberal tards? …. the conservatives rack up more debt than …? …. the conservatives cause more recessions than…? Is that what you’re saying? The conservatives are less competent than some liberal mental cases? All the statistics show how much less competent the conservatives are at running the economy. Do you realize with your statement you indirectly offended your half of the nation? Good job.

        And what is the connection between liberalism and the Libyan deaths? Please explain. I would suggest you be careful with your explanation, since that can easily be a double-edged sword.

      • MarioP

        Dusty, I was hoping you would expand on those Libyan deaths comment a bit more, but I guess after looking deeper into the situation, you discovered that sharp sword Romney handed you, eh?

  • Concernedmimi

    IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS MITT FOR ME; VOTE ROMNEY/RYAN….

  • Wheels55

    Burt,
    It just came to me last night as I watched Obama go on and on about moving forward (which means not looking back at his last 4 years) that the effectiveness of FEMA’s effort to aid with Isaac issues has not been covered much, if at all, my the press. I then wondered if there were any major issues with FEMA. I know this storm didn’t seem to do as much damage as Katrina and no one is living in a football stadium, but there was flooding and people affected. So, did Obama miss an opportunity to do some chest-thumping and a chance to compare his wonderfulness against the Bush-FEMA problems or are there current FEMA problems that nobody wants to talk about?

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Wheels: I have no idea what FEMA is up to.  There is always weather problems along the Gulf.  The reason that Katrina did so much damage is because the levees gave out.  The reason they gave out is because the ecology zealots had gotten the Nazis at the EPA to prevent repairs over the years because the repair work, they alleged, would have discomforted various bugs and insects.

      Burt

      • Wheels55

        I agree that the tree-huggers caused problems. Also, people who refused to leave their homes for safety reasons became the headlines when waiting to be rescued. I just thought Obama would be grabbing at anything positive.
        Let’s see what positive things he has really done or been a part of:….he has ordered the killing of lots of people.

      • MarioP

        Burt states above:

        “ The reason that Katrina did so much damage is because the levees gave out.  The reason they gave out is because the ecology zealots had gotten the Nazis at the EPA to prevent repairs over the years because the repair work, they alleged, would have discomforted various bugs and insects.”Burt, before I nail you for another complete and utter LIE (tying EPA to the New Orleans levee failure), I’ll give you two options:

        1) List your source claiming EPA was the reason for the levee failure.
        2) Admit you “made a mistake” and your wild conclusion is untrue.

        I think I’m being reasonable with my requests here. Cheers.

  • Count_E_Limerick

    Burt claims that Bernie can be slidin’,
    His humor writer, in plain sight is hidin’ -
    To Rudy, he’s a terror,
    No, it’s not Yogi Berra -
    It’s that funny four-letter-word, Biden!

  • Count_E_Limerick

    After Fluke and Liz Warren, the Ms.’s,
    Bill Clinton showed he knows what the biz is.
    Barack IS clearly the better,
    Our economy to unfetter -
    But it depends what the definition of “IS” is!

  • Count_E_Limerick

    The Dems pulled out old Bill, their faded star,
    Whose defense of Obama was best by far.
    My defection was near,
    But please have no fear,
    You could say it was “Close, but no Cigar!”

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Not bad, Count, not bad at all.

      Burt

  • brendan horn

    Burt,
             The problem with liberals picking winners and losers is that they only like it when losers win. This is why they support companies like Solyndra, but will never support WalMart. Liberals also do not like picking America to win. I think this is why they support socialist ideology – because the more socialist America becomes, the more likely it is that America will lose. 
             I think the main reason Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and some other billionaires  support Obama is because they know that Democrats will pay them back dollars for pennies for all their support. Just look at union based bailouts and how much Nancy Pelosi has kicked back to supporters in her district who will not have to abide Obamacare.
            I also think some of these billionaires who have been geeks all of their lives want a taste of celebrity and they know a sure way to be “cool” is to support the latest liberal propaganda. 

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Oh, sure, Brendan, now you tell me how to be cool.  Where were you when I was in high school?

      Burt

  • Deny916

    No but they’ll put OUR money where their mouths are every time…as long as it’s not their money.

    And thank you SOOOOO much Burt for saying:  “What he (obama) fails to mention is that by turning GM over to the UAW, he not only screwed the shareholders, he put 2,200 car dealerships out of business.”  A lot of those dealerships were making money had a lot of employees that had no where to go.  What a saviour!

  • Bruce A.

    Pres. Obama is not his half- brothers keeper.  Liberals are very loose with everyone elses money, when it comes to their own then it becomes a different story.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Indubitably.

      Burt

    • Count_E_Limerick

      Considering that $5 a month would change George Obama’s life (or even a hand-signed letter each month), and the Obamas have been making fabulous money for at least the last 8-10 years, and it had to be embarrassing when CNN highlighted his hut-dwelling a few years ago, isn’t it curious that no help has been forthcoming?
      It almost leads one to D’Souza’s conclusion that it’s because George is no longer “with the program”, questioning the victimization narrative of anti-colonialism…

  • CCNV

    I keep asking liberals to name 5 things (not including government handouts, bailouts, stimulus or taxes (i.e., obamacare)) that obaMAO has done to HELP Americans these past 4 years. Yep, I’m still waiting.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       I trust you aren’t holding your breath.  That could be fatal.

      Burt

    • MarioP

      I hope you read my list of Obama’s positive accomplishments under a different blog. 

      Now it’s your turn to list five beneficial accomplishments of the last three Republican presidents. 

      • Mariop

        I’m still holding my breath, waiting for those five positive accomplishments for the general public from the last three Republican presidents. Should I keep holding or should I exhale?

  • Wheels55

    The dems have nothing positive to say about their achievements over the last 4 years, so lying seems to be all they have.
    DWS lies more than any of them, which says a lot. She recently was caught on tape saying how someone else said Republicans have hurt relations with Israel, then she denied saying it it when she was called out. She didn’t know the reporter had taped the interview. I think that makes her stupid too, doesn’t it? DWS is disgusting!

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Yes, Debbie seems to be auditioning to replace Jay Carney, Obama’s own in-house Pinocchio, at some point.

      Burt

      • Wheels55

        Interesting thought. I just figured she was auditioning as a writer for the David Letterman Show. DWS isn’t funny, but neither is Dave these days.

  • GlenFS

    The Democrats could have improved their cabinet, tzars and supreme court appointments by nominating from the very capable by comparison ape population.  I’m pretty sure the apes would get it right a random 50% of the time which would be a 150% improvement. 

    I’m using numbers here because lately leftist posters on this blog have been throwing out some very impressive figures, and I’d like to demonstrate that I am up to the made-up-number task.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       And what’s more, you did a much better job than Clinton.  I keep hearing pundits claim that Clinton won the election for Obama last night, and I am wondering if any of them would be willing to put their money where their mouth is.

      Burt

      • Wheels55

        In the age of fact checkers, it seems Slick Willie told a few tales last night. I think he energized the demo base – but so what. I’m pretty sure history has shown that many things he did have proven to be lousy choices.

  • Concernedmimi

    Time’s a-waste-in; the 23 million un-employed, do not want an Obama do-over!!!!! This should be the Republican response to all the DNC hoop-la and Clinton finger wagging ‘I did not have blank with that woman’ speech.