A Letter to Donald ...
With Advice He Won't Take
I hope you don’t mind the informality Mr. (former) President, but we go back a ways. Remember when you called me late in 2011 and wanted my advice about whether you should run for president? Remember I told you that I’m a journalist and I don’t give advice to people who are thinking of running for president? Well, Donald, a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then.
You decided to run four years later, and yes, you won. But Donald, let’s face it, you won in large part because Hillary Clinton was even more unlikeable than you. And since that victory, you’ve had a perfect record — of political defeat.
I mean no disrespect, Donald, but it was thanks to your big mouth and low approval numbers that you managed to help Republicans lose the House in 2018. Then you lost the presidency in 2020 because voters didn’t want four more years of you and your tweets and your constant chaos. Then in January 2021, you went down to Georgia ostensibly to campaign for two Republicans in special elections for the Senate, but instead made it all about you (I know, what else is new), and you told voters that state GOP leaders shouldn’t be trusted because they didn’t overturn your defeat — and so, a lot of your fans who are convinced you can walk on water stayed home on Election Day giving Democrats control of the Senate.
That’s not easy, Donald, losing three in a row the way you did. But why stop at three, right?
So in the recent midterms you endorsed a bunch of knuckleheads who won you over by flushing their self-respect down the toilet and embracing your crazy story about how you’re the real president and how Joe Biden is illegitimate. And while more traditional Republicans (let’s call them what they are — normal Republicans) were winning, the sycophants you endorsed were losing — in Pennsylvania, in Arizona, in New Hampshire, in Nevada — and in Georgia, your guy is in a runoff. And that’s only in Senate races.
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While Ron DeSantis in Florida and Brian Kemp in Georgia and Mike DeWine in Ohio all refused to jump onto your crazy train and won by huge margins in their gubernatorial races, a bunch of candidates who bought into your delusional version of the 2020 election were rejected by the voters — including Doug Mastriano in Pennsylvania, Tudor Dixon in Michigan, Dan Cox in Maryland, Tim Michels in Wisconsin — and the female mini-Trump, Kari Lake in Arizona has also lost.
Thanks in large part to you, Donald, there was no red wave, despite the fact that inflation is at a 40 year high, crime is a big problem, and the southern border is a mess. Conservatives at the Wall Street Journal ran a headline that said, “Trump Is the Republican Party’s Biggest Loser.” Conservatives at the New York Post turned on you too with a front page that showed you sitting on a wall with the caption “Trumpty Dumpty.” Even your toadies at Fox News aren’t slobbering over you the way they used to. You think your old pal Rupert Murdoch who owns the Wall Street Journal, the New York Post and Fox News is trying to tell you something—like get lost, Donald?
Please forgive these dumb questions, Don: Do you care one bit about the Republican Party? About the damage you’ve done? We all know the answer: You care only about … yourself.
So I wonder why your most loyal fans are so clueless, why they can’t conjure up enough brain power to connect the dots? It’s really not that complicated. Yes, they think Biden is destroying America. But connect the dots and you understand that the only reason he’s president today is because of you. Who in his right mind thinks Biden won because voters thought he was smart? Or that he had great ideas? Nobody, right? He won because he wasn’t … you … because the American people couldn’t take four more years of … you.
Your fans hate that Biden picked a progressive to sit on the Supreme Court, a job she’ll hold for the next 100 years, give or take. But they haven’t connected those dots either. Because if they did, they’d realize that you’re responsible for that too. I mean if you hadn’t sabotaged the Georgia runoff, if you hadn’t handed those two seats over to Democrats, Republicans would control the Senate and there’s a good chance they would have turned down a progressive to sit on the High Court — not to mention would have stopped a lot of those trillion dollar spending bills the Democrats pushed through the Senate.
Now, it looks like you’re thinking about running for president again, figuring this time around you can beat Biden. Well, here’s breaking news Donald: Biden won’t be running — even if he wants to. His party knows he’s lost a few steps. They’ll have a nice chat with him, give him some milk and cookies, and then throw him over the side.
And here’s something to consider: I know it’s a long shot but what if Democrats get smart for a change and nominate a moderate candidate to run in 2024 — someone, say, like Joe Manchin? Donald, sit down before you read this. If you run against Manchin you won’t even carry the vote at Mar-a-Lago. You would be — I hate to say this, Donald, because I know how much you detest the word … you’d be … a loser … again.
So here’s some advice, which I hope you’ll consider: Before you do something crazy like announcing your candidacy for president, try to think about the future — your future, the Republican Party’s future, and mostly America’s future. And don’t run.
But if you do run, put on your sneakers and don’t stop running until you are far, far away from the United States of America. And don’t come back until after Election Day 2024. If then.