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I Like the BP Guy More than the Clowns Who Grilled Him
Every time a bunch of congressmen get some capitalist “villains” in their cross-hairs – whether they’re bankers from Wall Street or carmakers from Detroit or most recently Tony Hayward from BP -- and take shots at them for hours on end on national television, I wind up rooting for the "bad guy."
It’s not that I think the money boys from Wall Street are saints, or the guys who run the car companies in Detroit are so wonderful, or that BP should be nominated for a Nobel Prize. It’s just that I have a hard time listening to a bunch of sanctimonious, windbag politicians who couldn’t run a lemonade stand put on their populist tinfoil hats and treat the poor bastards worse than they would treat Osama bin Laden if he showed up at one of their sub-committee hearings.
I watched the BP hearings and am wondering if I’m the only one who feels sorry for Tony Hayward. Look, if it turns out that what happened in the Gulf was more than a terrible accident, if it turns out that BP was cutting corners to increase profits, then it’s fine with me if the government brings criminal charges against anyone and everyone who was responsible. It just irks me to watch a parade of nitwits who live in glass houses throw boulders at the guy.
One of my fantasies is to see the tables turned on those politicians who treat CEOs like war criminals. Imagine if we could grill them they way they grill everyone else.
US: Congressman Waxman, is it true that you voted YES on Bill XYZ, a bill that ultimately cost American taxpayers $20 billion dollars when you told them it would cost $20 MILLION?
WAXMAN: It was George Bush’s fault.
US: Do the honorable thing, Congressman: RESIGN!
US: Is it true, Senator Reid, that you voted for numerous laws that cost us billions of dollars knowing full well we didn’t have that kind of money to spend?
REID: It was George Bush’s fault.
US: The Capitol Police are coming down the aisle to take you to Andrews Air Force Base for a flight to Syria where you will be undergo further – let’s call it – questioning.
US: And is it true, Congressman Rangel, that you – and the other bozos that somehow keep getting elected – have spent this country so far into a hole that we may never get out?
RANGEL: Are you asking me that because I’m black?
US: No, we’re asking you that because you were the head of the powerful Ways and Means committee until you resigned under pressure because of your tax problems.
RANGEL: It’s George Bush’s fault.
US: Senator Boxer, How in the world could you get us $12 trillion dollars in debt and make us so dependent on the Chinese government to buy our bonds in order to finance your reckless spending?
BOXER: It was George Bush’s fault.
US: Two words, Senator: Carly Fiorina.
US: Congressman Frank, would you resign here and now to make amends for your role in the financial meltdown – a meltdown that almost plunged this nation into a second Great Depression?
FRANK: It was Bill O’Reilly’s fault.
I don’t care if Bill O’Reilly grills these pinheads or if Chris Wallace or David Gregory or Candy Crowley subjects them to tough questions. I just can’t take it when the very people who have left us on the brink of financial disaster thanks to their reckless spending, go on national TV and pretend to be holier than everybody else.
Sorry, but I like the guy who runs BP more than I like any of the clowns who knocked him around the ring for six hours -- even though I don’t care if he gets fired for what his company did. I just hope the voters come to their senses this November and fire the mob that is demanding his head.